Guest Post: Lessons My Husband Taught Me...Not

Today my guest blogger is Heather. One day I meet her on Twitter and it was a meeting of the dysfunctional minds...seriously dysfunctional. We even invented a new word.

Hi everyone! I am Heather and I am here to take over do a guest post for MJ. I am genuinely honored that she asked me, I hadn't done much blogging on my own lately. And as honored as I am, I wish it were under better circumstances. I hope your hand feels better my "blitter" buddy.

Mr. Husband and I hit our 1 year anniversary just a few days ago and while the last year has been great, we have had our share of ups and downs., What couple doesn't right? I have also come to learn some lessons about Mr. Husband and our relationship...

1. My husband should never be allowed to work for Hallmark. - He thinks up his own poems like "Roses are red, Carnations are Pink, Man I just farted, and Boy does it stink." He has a great imagination and he has a whole line of these ready for Hallmark to rush in and pick up. As I am writing this, he is attempting to argue his point about how great that poem really is. You be the judge.

2. He can not behave himself at all - No matter what we do or where we go, he is always up to no good. Did you know that Disneyland has a jail? Yes, the happiest place on earth has a punishment jail. Not an actual cell, but a room under the Small World ride that you will be escorted to if you misbehave. And not only do you have to sit in this room, but it plays the song on repeat, nonstop. Might I also mention, Disney frowns upon you leaving the rides to play on the sets of the rides...just saying. Ask my other half, he knows all too well.

3. Bedtime is NEVER normal (nor will it ever be) - Mr. Husband was injured on the job almost two years ago, and he's still waiting to get a knee surgery done before he can go back to work. I have crohn's disease and have had to stop working until I can get back on my medications. So we are pretty much together 24/7 right now. We try to give each other plenty of space so not to work each others nerves. So bedtime is no holds barred. We pick, we call names, we tease, he sings annoying made up songs or makes up really screwed up stories. It's where some of our best conversations come from. And it's honestly my favorite time of the day. No bedtime is ever the same, and I guess I love the spontaneity of it all.

4. There is no movie he won't watch - While we have a lot in common, movie choices is not one of them. He loves the sci-fi made for tv movies and cheesy b movies. Just the other night, we had a slight argument over whether or not I would be joining him for Alien Tornado. Yeah, I passed on that one. He's convinces I will be joining him for Frankenfish, when he can find it. We'll see.

5. He has pretty good taste in tv shows - Don't tell him I told you, but when it comes to television shows, he has gotten me hooked on some pretty good stuff. Thanks to him, I will never forgive FOX for cancelling Firefly, but on the bright side, I have love for Nathan Fillion, and his role in Castle.

6. He tries to act like an asshole, but I know better - Mr. Husband is a big guy, with a love for tattoos and martial arts. He is always trying to convince us what an ass he is, but when I look at him, I see a funny, smart, giant teddy bear. Sure, he can have his moments, and I have only seen him mad once. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of his anger, that's for sure.

I have so many more things I could list here, it seems like the list is never-ending. But as this isn't my page, and I have a movie to finish before I go to sleep, I guess I'll turn MJ's page back over to her. Do any of you other people have spouse like mine? I'd love to hear about them if so...

You can find Heather ranting away at Chaotic Rantings of a Housewife and on twitter.