Some days my life makes no sense. I wake up in a haze from a severe lack of sleep, throw on some clothes and make-up and try to avoid mirrors for the rest of the day just in case I look like a circus clown. I shuttle my kids out the door with juice boxes and pop tarts in hand while trying to down enough coffee to make the world seem a little less fast and make me move at a little more the right speed. I can't live all day in slow-mo.
After a day of work which ticks by in a blur of Facebook posts, Tweets, feigning productivity in between daydreams, and a lack of sunshine (my office in right smack dab in the middle of the building. No windows) I pick up the boys and head on to whatever after school activities we have that day.I'm pretty sure my subconscious knows the driving routes by heart because I'm not sure I actually steer much between all the bickering in the back seat over which song to listen to. Doesn't matter that we have a set rotation rule of who gets to pick.
At our after school activity I delve into a book, or sew, or somehow find myself deep in my own little world.
I realize that to the outside observer, I must seem like a total scatter brain. Or a neurotic genius. I'm hoping the latter.
The thing is, I'm not scatterbrained at all. I'm a dreamer.
I believe that just about anything is possible, but before you can achieve it, you have to dream it. You have to start the journey. You have to work hard at it.
The thing with having big dreams is that your destination is a moving target. You have to be willing to grow and adapt.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I would be today, I would have told you I would be living in a tiny loft in New York City trying to make it as a writer. Instead I'm still living in Oklahoma and am a mother to two amazing boys. And I'm still a writer. My dream didn't change, my destination did. I'm still publishing poems. I'm still writing, mostly for my blog, Dishwater Dreams. But I'm also attending soccer games, karate lessons, and school parties. I'm struggling with having enough hours in the day and giving up sleep to write after my children go to bed.
But I wouldn't change a thing.
Lindsey Renuard is a published author and poet. She is the Internet Content Editor for Community Publishers. She manages local newspapers and community web sites in Oklahoma and is a social media expert. She is a former Professor of English teaching both in the classroom and online. You can follow Lindsey on her Facebook page, Twitter and of course her blog Dishwater Dreams.
