Tuesday, September 20, 2011

I Will Show You a Hand Gesture.

You know that driver that is going 5 miles under the speed limit as you are driving up a very steep mountain, so you change lanes to pass them and they speed up so you can’t pass them. Because you are a good driver you calmly get back into the lane you were in behind the driver who is now going 10 miles over the speed limit. About 10 minutes later he is going 5 miles under the speed limit AGAIN. So you hit the gas and are going 15 miles over the speed limit to finally pass the guy and you decide to glare at him as you pass.

Only he doesn’t see your glare because you are wearing sunglasses and not just any sunglasses but the great big sunglasses that take up half your face. As if you are a celebrity hiding from the paparazzi. So you cruise by this discourteous drive glaring and knowing that can’t see your glare and you wished you had not made a vow to stop flipping off other drivers. (This doesn’t mean I am not telepathically flipping them off but lets be honest its not as satisfying as flipping the bird.)

You wonder is this vow worth it after all some drivers just deserve to receive that special hand signal that expresses so much with so little effort. But them you remember why you made that vow.....

After a great night with family celebrating one of my 5 favorites Aunt's Birthday, my mom, sister and I were traveling home and you all decide it would be a great idea after you put gas in the car to stop by MickeyD's and get a soda after all you love their cokes and its a long drive home (ok only an hour and 15 minutes depending on the traffic). When out of the blue a big truck comes tearing into the parking lot almost hitting your car and them honks his horn at us as if we had done something wrong.

(I hate when people honk at you when they are in the wrong...I know these are the kind of people who blame all their problems on other people and don’t move forward in life because they are to busy blaming instead of moving forward in their lives.)

You are sitting in the back seat and you throw your hands in the air as if to say, "What the hell. Watch what you are doing." But being the girl you are you go on and talk to your mom and sister that is until the guy in the great big truck pulls up to the side of your car and starts yelling at you.

Picture if you can my little red Aveo with my mom driving (who is in need of a hip replacement), my health nut sister who is 8 months pregnant and me all 5'1" of me. And this truck that my car could fit under and a very large and muscle bound guy yelling at us. And we are all in the drive through lane at MickeyD's. Serious I can’t make this stuff up.

The man is yelling that I flipped him off. Now I don’t have a problem flipping people off well them I didn’t and I am the first to admit I flipped people off but this time I didn’t flip him off and even if I had flipped an obscene finger gesture I have the hands of a 12 year old child, people laugh when I don’t it because its funny to see these itty bitty fingers being so aggressive.

And as the man is yelling I am yelling, "I didn’t flip you off." My very pregnant sister was also yelling at the guy and trying to get out of the car to fight the guy and my mom was trying to keep my sister from getting out of the car.

Finally after a few minute the guy drove away we were all shocked. My mom turns to me and asks, "Did you flip him off?" I reaffirm that I didn’t flip off the overly irate man but I wish I had.

You would think that after that I would just flip people off since I am accused of it when I don’t do it. But instead I learned that people are nuts and take offense to nothing and it better to glare at them while wearing my giant dark sunglasses.


  1. This is really a funny post... I hear you visiting from SITS...

  2. Thank you....Its a true story.

  3. Very funny, it is actually safer to just stare at them under you giant sunglasses, especially if you live in NY.

  4. Its no safer in small towns because you can bet most people have a gun in their car. Just in case.

  5. OH my goodness. How crazy was that?!

    I think staring in sunglasses is a better idea....although not quite as satisfying.

    Thanks for stopping by my SITS day, today!

  6. This is too funny and so true! Just catching up from #commenthour :)


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