About a week or so ago I had lunch with The BF and his Ex-wife/Friend. This is not unusual but its also not common. On this particular day The BF was doing my a favor and I had to bribe him with food. And it just so happens that the Ex-wife/Friend was cooking lunch for everyone that day.
I called her up to see if she had enough food for him and she assured me she did but them started laughing and told me that today would have been their 7th wedding anniversary if they had stayed married. And its kind of funny that they were having lunch today. I agree it was funny and a nice lunch.
However, this post is not about "celebrating" their unanniversary this post is about the other people we had lunch...one in particular that was astonished we could really sit down and all be civil to each other. I have talked about it several times at work and on my blog I guess she thought I was exaggerating the facts because she keep going on and on and on about how we all get along.
And I am not going to lie and say its perfect and every moment we all love each other at different times they have both driven me to want to bang my head on the wall and I am guessing that I have driven them both to drink a time or two. And I know they have driven each other to the brink of insanity and beyond.
I know we are lucky but I like to think that even if I wasn't friends with her first we would still try and get along. To be honest its just easier than hating each other and I am innately lazy. I get that when it comes to divorce and kids people do some crazy stuff and resentment builds. But sometimes its is a lack of patience and a lot of jealousy and that is not healthy.
Its not good for you, your relationship and definitely not good for the kids. But you have to make a good honest effort to get along if their are children involved. My friend who was just so astonished we got along has been dating a guy for 10+ years and hates her BF's ex-wife and is quite jealous and nasty about the kids and then she gets upset that she isn't included in things.
I also realize that you can do everything to be supportive, patient and kind and the other person in the bizarre little triangle is not the same way. They are mean manipulative and jealous but you cant control their behavior you can only be responsible for yourself and giving your best each and every time.
I dont know what point I am trying to make but I hope that everyone is making that effort to be nice to each other.