As I was saying I am doing a bible study with friends its an awesome bible study titled Resolution for Women. Yesterday we explored a section called My Integrity. We had a wonderful discussion about the things we keep hidden from others. You know the books, movies, actions you don't want people from your church to know about it. For me it was a series of books I hide under my bed. Not because I am ashamed others will see them but because I don't want the kids to find them...(I never had this problem when I was single).
During the discussion one of the women in the group looked at me and another lady (the other lady just happens to be Ex-Wife/Friend) in the group and said we 3 need to repent for our relationships.....WHAT? Did you just tell me I need to repent?
A first I had no idea what she was talking about...I was stumped. Then I realized that she was referring to the 3 of us not being married and having a physically intimate relationship with our partners. In case you didn't get that we are having sex before we are married.
I was immediately defensive...as I am sure most people would be when someone is saying you are bad, very very bad.
I explained that I was in a committed relationship and The BF and I are very committed to each other and I didn't believe God was going to punish me for being in that relationship. Despite having sex before we are married. I know its not a very Christian attitude but I truly don't think He is worried about that part of my life.
Another woman in the group said, " I think God has standards and guidelines he wants us to follow and marriage before sex is one of them."
Are you telling me God has a check list. I doubt it. He will judge me by my heart and to me living with The BF is just as much as a commitment for us as marriage is to some. I really believe that I will be in this relationship until one of us dies and I may never have a wedding (although I would like one I need new towels).
I think the friend didn't want to be alone in her "sin". She believes her relationship is wrong and whats "absolution" through numbers or maybe just support and justification for her actions. Which is not something I can give her if she believes she is sinning she needs to take that up with God and clergy.
I am not trying to justify my relationship with The BF or God. I am not even sure why I am writing all this or if it makes sense. I just need to express myself so I will be able to move forward and stop being upset with my friend.