Wednesday, May 16, 2012

She's Having a Baby? Maybe!!!!

Last week was a strange week for me, in addition to getting use to my broken wrist, I thought I may be pregnant.

For 6 long days I worried, stressed about and was on the the verge of freaking out about being pregnant.

As you can imagine being 36 years old I have peed on a stick a time or two just to make sure I wasn't pregnant but I never once really thought I was pregnant. In the past it was always more like "I know I am not but just to verify I am taking a test."

This time I really thought I was pregnant. Really I did.

I had even come to terms with the idea of having a baby and started making plans...thought of names.

I even posted on facebook and twitter that I felt a change coming. Now I sit here wondering where is my change? Do I want change? I hate change? Is this my oppurtunity to make a change? Is there change? How many times can I say the word change in one paragraph? I like the song Wind of Change. (8 times).

Now I am slightly disappointed that the results are negative.

You read that right mom! I said I am disappointed.

This is a strange new territory for me. I have been pretty clear on this topic all of my adult life. I didn't want kids. Now I am all confused and reevaluating my path. And its not just me I have to consider, I have to take into account what The BF wants.

Now I am left wondering...do I REALLY want a baby?

There is no easy answer to that but I know I need to do a lot of thinking and talking. And I need to do it soon as my Dr. told me a few years ago...I am not getting any younger.

Regardless I feel like I am at one of those moments in life when you get to choose a new direction. And now I have to ask myself, is that what I want?

And what does The BF want? That to much lets just focus on what I want...I don't know what I want.

I am not a fan of these moments. I was enjoying my life the way it was going. Nice and easy. Now I need to think and have a deep conversation with The BF.  

Don't mind me I am rambling as I do a little soul searching.

15 comments:

  1. I was in your shoes once too; I'm not envious. Just stopping by from the SITS Comment Hour.

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  2. Hi MJ,

    Does your BF wants kids? Have you talked this over with him? Did he know that you thought you might be pregnant?

    Ooh - major stuff! :)

    ~Tui, from #commenthour

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    Replies
    1. Yes he knew and he says he doesnt have to think about it until I decide one way or the other. Boys are weird.

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  3. Hi Michael,

    stopping by late after the #commenthour to offer you a soul searching challenge that may help you think all of this through.

    Can you sort out your life in 30 seconds?

    Visit www.soulpowercoach.tumblr.com Download a free Soul Power Pack of Life Area Cards & Sort your 12 life areas according to the most important things you want to do or experience in the next 6 months.

    Let me know what you think about this challenge & if you would like to have a conversation about it.

    All the best to you whatever you decide!

    Love, Peace,& Happiness

    Adrienne
    @soulpowercoach

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  4. Ya know I type one handed all the time like right now: I have baby in one hand and am typing with the other. Your accident could be a fortuitous opportunity to practice some near future, to be needed skills.
    Kidding aside, kids are great. Lots of work but great. Serious decision.

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    Replies
    1. Well then I really need to get the dragon.

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  5. Just so you know that was not funny I read the title ran into the bedroom waking Tiffani saying you were pregnant...now she is not going to like you cause you made me wake her up

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    Replies
    1. I am not responsible for anything you do

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  6. I know that feeling of not being sure if you're excited or not. More power to you as you try to figure these feelings out!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you...I need to do some serious soul searching.

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  7. You are such an under achiever. You could have at least used the word Change 10 times in that paragraph. LOL

    My status on FB earlier this week was that it is ok to change your mind :-)

    Good luck with your decision making. :-)

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    Replies
    1. I really loled when I read your comment.

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  8. Oh, and a friend of mine who never wanted kids but has sense softend on that position now has an if it happens I'm ok with it, if it dosen't I'm ok with it, approach.

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    Replies
    1. I am almost where your friend is but now I need to talk The BF into the same attitude.

      Delete

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