Recently I was talking to a friend about not being able to have a baby and move forward in my life and she said, "Are you sure you want one? Your life is pretty good right now. You get to do what you want you can be selfish and with kids especially a baby you cant do that."
She made a very valid point....my life is damn near perfect.
I have the "pseudo" stepkids around to make me crazy and laugh (The 7 year old asked me the other day why do I always smell so good? She cracks me up). But I still have every other weekend free!!! Do you know how incredibly wonderful that truly is?
Every other weekend we can go see Rated R movies without having to get a sitter.
Every other weekend I can walk around in my underwear or naked and no one cares...in The BF likes when I do.
Every other weekend we can lay around having The Walking Dead marathons and not worry we are damaging the children psyche.
Every other weekend we can be very very very selfish and its okay.
So then why am I still so sad?
I know my life is good and I have been fortunate but there is this little part that keeps morning what wont be and I am sad.
I think I need a vacation!!!
I cant answer your question but i can talk about myself :) As you know I have three wonderful girls. I cant keep up with them and I feel like a failure most days. I feel blessed for the children I have and I feel like I am at my wits end. Yet I still feel sad (sometimes its a deep sadness) that I don't have my fourth child that I feel like I'm suppose to have. Maybe I need a vacation. :) Love you!
ReplyDeleteI love you Dia!!!
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