a·ban·don
tr.v. a·ban·doned, a·ban·don·ing, a·ban·dons
1. To withdraw one's support or help from, especially in spite of duty, allegiance, or responsibility; desert.
2. To give up by leaving or ceasing to operate or inhabit, especially as a result of danger or other impending threat.
3. To surrender one's claim to, right to, or interest in; give up entirely.
4. To cease trying to continue; desist from.
5. To yield (oneself) completely, as to emotion.
n.
1. Unbounded enthusiasm; exuberance.
2. A complete surrender of inhibitions.
The word Abandon really fits my mood lately especially the to surrender one's claim to, right to, or interest in; give up entirely part of the word.
I am in the funk of all funks and while I still laugh and get out of bed every day I have a blah attitude about things. I am withdrawn and moody, is this some odd parallel university where instead of maturing I start acting like a teenager. If that is what is going on then I better start seeing a reversal of some of these fine lines around my eyes.
I think part of the problem is my mind is so cluttered right now that I can't focus on anything and just decided to throw my hands in the air giving up on everything. Is that a normal reaction to do much stuff going on in my mind? I feel like I can't organize it all my ideas and they are just hanging around taunting me.
Its not just writing ideas, its craft ideas, and work projects and family events. Everything is a mess and I would love to walk away from it all. I can't even focus on one book to finish it. In the last week I have started 6 different books and despite them all being good I have given up on them all.
I really need to figure this all out and soon because I would much rather be living life with unbounded enthusiasm; exuberance instead of cease trying to continue; desist from life.
This inspiration for this post came from Story Dam. Please check out this wonderful site for writers by writers.