The Zombie Way of Life

So last night I watched one of my favorite movies...ZOMBIELAND!!!! That's right I like the movie Zombieland. It's not that I believe it's an award winning movie but I do believe its a classic zombie movie. Its a wonderful combination of the gore we expect from a Zombie movie and the comedy we enjoy about Zombies. Think Resident Evil meets Shaun of the Dead and they have a child. And I can say this with out hesitation due to my life long love of the zombie movie.

My love affair with Zombies started rather young, I was 7 years old. And one night while at a slumber party at Tiffany's house we watched a most controversial  music video....Michael Jackson's Thriller. We watched all 13.43 minutes and the making of the video several times on VHS. And thus began my life long love of the Zombie and the occult. But being as I was only 7 at the time or maybe 8 I was not allowed to watch Zombie movies and I was not sneaky enough then to figure out how to watch them with out my moms permission. So what would become my obsession with Zombies movies was put on hold until I reached 12 or 13.

At 12-13 I was sneaky enough to figure out how to watch movies my mom was not allowing me to watch. At this time I was watching all the horror movies of the time Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th. Then one day I ran across a classic Night of the Comet. For those of you who have not seen this gem it is about a comet that passes to close to earth and kills most the people on the planet. Some survive and others are turned into Zombies. Soon after I was watching every Zombie movie I could find even old classic ones like Revenge of the Zombie.

I would like to say that my interest in Zombies and the occult has waned over the years but I refer you back to the first paragraph of this post I regular watch movies like 28 Days Later, Resident Evil andShaun of the Dead. I read book called The Zen of Zombies and Surviving the Zombie Attack.  I even took a quiz on Facebook about surviving the Zombie attack. I will survive. I wont have any friends because I will have left them all behind but I figure I am likable I can make new ones with the other survivors.

And since I started this post be declaring my love for the movie Zombieland I am going to share some valuable lessons that I believe can be applied to everyday life.

#1 Cardio: In the movie it was because the fatties got eaten 1st but I believe we all know how beneficial Cardio is to our hearts.

#2 Double Tap:  Its good to make sure Zombies are dead. In real life if you are going to hit someone better make sure they are down. (Not that I condone violence)

#3 Avoid Bathrooms: This is to ensure Zombies don't get you at your weakest time. In real life public restrooms are gross.

#4 Wear Your Seatbelt:  Take it from someone who has been in 8 car wreaks it just makes common sense in the movies and in life. 

#7 Pack Light: Trust a girl who never packs lights...Suitcases are heavy especially if you are running from Zombies and you never use half the crap you take with you anyway.

#17 Don't Be a Hero:  No use ending up dead when faced with impossible odds and your BFF is surrounded by Zombies. Call the authorities or just run.

#18 Limber Up. Just a good practice if your running for pleasure or running for your life.

#22 When in Doubt Know Away Out: When faced with a situation that's new to you always know where your exits are nothing worse then getting stuck at a karaoke bar or devoured by Zombies.

#29 The Buddy System:  There is a reason they teach this in grade school. There is safety in numbers and lets be honest you don't have to run faster than the Zombies just faster then the person you are with.

#31 Check the Backseat: This is a safety rule everyone should follow to avoid being kidnapped, killed or eaten. (I watch a lot of movies and TV)

#32 Enjoy the Little Things: Remember life is not just about work and killing Zombies you must remember to stop an smell the roses every now and then.

And remember that some rules are meant to be broken just choose wisely or you may end up Zombie food.