Thursday, May 10, 2012

Guest Post: Defining Moments - Getting Older

I have been a red head my whole life. Growing up it was a source of pain and ridicule. I guess I was an easy target and my hair gave them a focus.  I hated my hair for a long time because of it. I thought it was the reason I had so many problems growing up.

My best friend from Junior High told me, after we had known each other for years, she hadn’t wanted to like me because of my hair. She didn’t like red hair or those that had it. I don’t remember why.  She said she liked me in spite of my hair.

As I grew up into a young adult I started to appreciate my hair a little more; I received many nice comments. Once in a store, while kneeling looking at a purse, a couple of older women were talking about my hair and suddenly I felt a hand brush down my hair. The woman said she just had to know what it felt like. 

I never thought of myself as pretty. I grew to think the only special thing about my looks was my hair, long wavy/curly and red. At some point I started noticing men double taking, actually it was usually my friends noticing. 

“Hey, did you see that guy looking at you?”

“No, but it is probably just because of my hair.” I would say and brush it off. The funniest time it happened, I was driving through a parking lot and there was a young man on his bike in front of me. He turned to look back and nearly fell off his bike from whipping his head back to get a second look. I just thought it was silly.

Now I am a grandmother, a young grandmother but older all the same. Something happens to red hair as you age that doesn’t seem to happen with other hair. Other hair gradually turns grey. Red hair fades.

My family shocked me the other day. A friend of mine had described me as a blond. BLOND? I am not a blond, ever been a blond, nor ever wanted to be a blond. My family looked at me with sad eyes and said, “You don’t have red hair anymore. It is kind of blondish brown.”

“What? Really?” I was stunned. “But I have always been a red head.” I had to literally pick my jaw off the ground.  Who was I if I wasn’t a red head? I realized how much my hair had defined who I was. I had grown to love it over the years, loved that it made me different. Now it is no longer the vibrant, beautiful red that it used to be. I was crushed. I felt as my hair faded I would fade away as well.
I would no longer be different. Oh, logically, I knew it was just a part of me. It wasn’t really who I was, at least not the important part of me. But I am going to miss it.

Morgan Dragonwillow is a lover of words, fantasy, magic, shadow, dance, children, books, all things healing and creative, and so much more. She began her writing journey at the age of eight but didn't allow herself to fully explore it until recently. She now has several blogs, helps run Story Dam, an online writing community, is currently working on a memoir and a book of personal retreats and ceremonies. She loves helping others to see their creative potential and that all things really are possible. One of her favorite quotes is, "There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. ~Vicki Baum  
You can find Morgan Dragonwillow happily writing and dancing at A Writer's Universe.
You can follow her on twitter 

8 comments:

  1. I always thought people with red hair were lucky. I have colored my hair red on occasion (usually for plays) and I always felt like it looked... well, not as cool as "real" red heads.

    My brown hair faded into grey, too... though now it looks to be a gorgeous silver but my fourteen-year-old daughter is so mortified, she won't hear of me letting it go natural. :~)

    Fabulous guest post! Hope your arm is on the mend, Michael!

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    1. Right around the time before I hit 40 my youngest grown daughter asked, "Have you ever thought about dying your hair Mom?" I laughed because at that point I already did about once a year or so.

      Thanks for the word love.

      Peace,
      Morgan

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  2. I come from a family with lots of red heads. Even the ones who are not red heads have a lot of red in there hair...except me. I was always jealous (especially my health nut sister she has the most beautiful red hair). I often add red to my hair, which has not been my natural mousey blonde color since I was 14.

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    1. I am the only red head in my immediate family but I have cousins with it and we all have it from my Great Grandfather. Neither of my daughters have it but I finally started wishing that my second grand daughter would have it and it looks like she might have auburn red but we aren't sure yet. She is only four months old and doesn't have much hair. :)

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    2. Nope, youngest granddaughter doesn't have red hair after all, it's blond. :(

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  3. Morgan, Michael, You are both lovely ladies. Morgan, thank you for the gentle reminder that our definiton of our selves is best placed on internal things. Time will change the external before we are aware. Yes, your hair was lovely red, but it is lovely now too, because it still frames thes same happy, loving face. You must be awfuly fond of the person on the other end of that camera, because they were able to catch the tenderness in your eyes.

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    1. Thanks Charis, I appreciate the loving words.

      Peace,
      Morgan

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  4. Lovely to be able to recycle this lovely post in response to my little prompt! http://wp.me/p45xAV-sy for "Bad Hair Day!" - Not bad hair at all and I have never understood the dislike of red hair - I think we have grown to appreciate it a little more in girls and women though I notice young men still having a hard time of being 'ginger' :(

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