Monday, November 5, 2012

Yes Mom I will Shoot You in the Head

Awhile back I promised to shoot my mom in the head when the time came. Yes that right I agreed to kill my mom by shooting her in the head. And the members of my family that know about this are okay with it..of course only my 10 year old niece knows I am going to shot grandma.

Before you all start calling my local law enforcement, let me explain the story.

A few months ago my mom texted me asking how to kill zombies. Serious this was the text, she wanted to know how to successfully kill zombies. I told her the best way was to shoot them in the head that way you are not to close to risk getting bit and infected and it still stops them in their tracks.

Cute car bad zombie killer!
She then asked so hitting them with a car wouldn't really work would it? As I thought about the possibility of running over a zombie in my Aveo, I started to wonder why my mother is asking me these questions. Is the Zombie Apocalypse at hand? Did I miss it? Should I pack up the family and head for the hills? I told my mom that unless you were severing the brain stem from the spinal cord it would just slow them down not kill them. And then asked why she needed to know this info.

She explained that she was visiting my Aunt and one of my cousins was playing a video game and was driving around in a car killing zombies and she was trying to explain to everyone that that would not really kill zombies. (This is a real conversation...I seriously couldn't make this up. I am not that creative.)

I find this image at
Being a smarty pants I told my mom its to bad I really like my Aunt and her family but they will not survive the Zombie Apocalypse. At this point my mom asked if I would take her with me when it happens. As I thought about it I told her yes but if she slows me down I am leaving her behind. My mom agreed to this with one condition...I shoot her in the head so she doesn't become a zombie when I leave her behind. I agreed to this condition rather quickly.

I figured it would be an acceptable action under the circumstances and with the zombies around every corner who is going to worry about me shooting my mom.

A few weeks back my 10 year old niece got in on the conversation...I cant remember everything that was said but she agreed that shooting grandma in the head was a reasonable plan.

And that is how I agreed to shoot my mom in the head when the time is right.

After telling The BF this story he asked what about him...I told him I wouldn't shoot him I would keep him as a zombie chained up in the shed like on Shaun of the Dead. This seemed to upset him for some reason. I am not sure why.

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