Friday, October 11, 2013

If I Committed a Crime

If I were to commit a crime the newspaper story would probably read something like this...

A small towns most wanted criminal was in court today. A Girl Named Michael plead not guilty by reason of insanity to Disorderly Conduct, Criminal Mischief, Evading Police, Resisting Arrest and Attempted Theft.

A Girl Named Michael was shopping at the local book store, a statement made by her BF indicates she was in a good mood when she left the home they share that morning, "She was going to buy some book that was just released and was dying to read." The BF did not know the name of the book in question.

On security footage from the store you can see A Girl Named Michael immediately head to the new release section and snatch up a book, she then wonders around the store for a 10 minutes looking at other books. She picks up a book in the suspense section before heading to the checkout stands.

She is seen standing in a long line tapping her foot, you can visibly see her frustration grow with the wait. For some reason she steps out of line and heads to the coffee stand located in the store. According to the barrista, who wishes to remain anonymous, A Girl Named Michael ordered a large mocha with extra whip cream. She asked if he could ring up her book also. "When I told her I couldn't ring up her book, I was scared. She got this evil look in her, seriously evil. I was tempted to get the money from her and then purchase the book myself. Then she smiled sweetly said I understand. As she was walking away she sipped her coffee and said it was divine."

Security cameras then show her walking back to the registers, the line had grown longer and the sales representative was having troubles. She stands in line were witnesses hear her commenting on the lack of service. One witness tried to engage in conversation with A Girl Named Michael, "it was clear she was not happy," he reported. "She was clearly in a hurry. She kept sighing and tapping her foot. When I tried to joke with her about the wait she just looked at me in such away that I moved out of line for fear of disappointing her. I don't even know her and I felt like a kid who had disappointed his mother."

Its reported that A Girl Named Michael again stepped out of line and started wondering around the store. One witness states that it appears she was trying to find a place to sit and relax. Unfortunately the store had remodeled and had less space for customers to read.  She grew more and more angry, witness state that they all tried to stay out of her way, "She had a crazy look in her eyes."

According to the eye witnesses she then stormed up to the counter slammed $20 on the counter, told the clerk to keep the change and left the store. Once outside she paused took off what one bystander called "the cutest pair of red stiletto heels" and threw them. One shoe unfortunately hit a parked cars windshield braking it. A Girl Named Michael then ran to her car and speed away.

Officers state that when they arrived at her house she refused to open the door. They could hear her yelling, "Go away I am reading my book."  The officers tried calling the house but no one would answer. When her BF arrived home he attempted to get her to come out of the home peacefully but she told him, "I am reading. You know I don't like to be bothered when I am reading." With her BF's permission the police entered the home and  attempted to arrest A Girl Named Michael but she keep pulling away from them screaming, "Just let me finish this chapter."

The Judge ordered a mental health evaluation after her plea of not guilty by reason of insanity. Her BF told reporters outside the court room, "You have to let her read her books or she gets a little wacky."

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