Do You Make Others Feel Valued?

What makes you feel valued at home? At work? Life in general? Is it important to you to have others notice your worth? That seems a lot to tackle with one blog post and I am not going to tackle a lot of it. I am going to talk about a friend of mine that I believe has value but is not feeling it right now.

First I have to say that this person and I do not always see eye to eye. In fact we have been known to butt heads and not speak to each other. This is not always ideal since we see each other a lot but at least we are always polite when we we are disagreeing.

I am not going to mention her name but I want her to know that I see her and value what she does in my life and the life's of others. She is probably the most compassionate person I know and always has room in her life for people. She offers her help often and was generous enough to offer help to anyone who needs it.

Her heart is as big as the state of Alaska and often lets people in even though she knows she may get hurt. I am personally amazed by this ability, I often keep people out and at arms length to avoid any messy emotions that may smear my mascara. She is okay with it. I once heard her say what if I am the only person that helps them.

The thing that she does very well is make sure to tell others that they are valued. She can find the littlest thing focus on it and help others to see the good in the situation. 

I feel like we have moved away from this practice. Some how we have got the perception that telling people their value will diminish our own value. My friend knows the truth it doesn't take away from you...it has nothing to do with you. Telling a person that they value or a kind gesture to say thanks will not effect you in anyway. It may even make you feel good about your day. 

I am struggling with how to help my friend feel that value and to be honest there is nothing I can do in this situation. Which is not an easy thing for me after all I am a fixer and fixing is what I do. I am going to ask who are the people in your life that you value? 

Have you told them recently I value you and all that you do? 

What have you done to express your appreciation without words?  

Are you good at telling people or bad? 

Have you told you significant other? Family? Co-workers? The checker at the local megastore?

I hope my friend feels valued again soon.

The Person She Use To Be

Once upon a time there was a Girl that was very adventurous. She was up to most any activity; Bungee Court Jumping (do people still do that)....why not. Weekend road trip to Mexico...heck ya.

The Girl loved trying new things. She experiment with food, picked up and moved to a new city with no job, and in general was secretly thrilled by the unknown.

But the Girl started to wonder is she really the go-getter she thought..after all she had not had any great adventurous in years and her life had become very "average".

She knew that in part her thrill seeking past was because she was looking for her the next big thing to fill a need in her. The need that was constantly looking for greener grass and the next big thing. She was never fully satisfied and that why she did some of the dare devil things that she did.

She knew that finally finding her way and her place stopped the need inside of her that was constantly searching. The Girl was happy...she loved her life and enjoyed it but she wondered was she ever going to have another adventure tale to tell. Her motives for adventure were different, before she was searching now she wanted to share that part of her with another.

But was it to late to start being the person she use to be? Had she grown so conformable in her knee high boots that there was no room for the unknown? Could she find that adventurous spirit she use to have?

The Girl didn't not know the answers to these questions but was determined to find out.

Vagina...The Other Four Letter Word.

Recently it has been all over the internet that vagina is a filthy dirty word that should not be said in mixed polite company. (If you don't know what I am talking about go Google Michigan + Vagina).

Putting my opinions of this aside it started me thinking...why I am so comfortable saying the word Vagina?

The natural assumption is that I grew up saying the word. That my mom made us so comfortable that we view the word as just the name of a body part...like our knee or heart. Not to criticize mom but I am not sure that is the case. (My mom doesn't like the word vagina and doesn't like when me and my sisters start saying it...which we then do repeatedly. Even though we are ages 26, 31 and 36 we think its funny to torment our mom this way. I'm feeling a little sad for her).

Growing up I don't recall saying vagina but I don't recall having an other word for it either. It was just something we didn't talk about any more than me talked about our knees.

In college I spent some time studying Anatomy & Physiology. I remember thinking that the girls who would blush/giggle were silly...we weren't studying how to have sex just the anatomy of the reproductive organs that included the vagina and penis. But I dont  recall saying the word or discussing it...maybe with girlfriends when we were talking about sex but beyond that no.

So then why am I a little militant about saying the word vagina? Why do I freak out when other people refer to it as a vay jay jay or some other word? I become upset and demand that you say the correct word...vagina.

Maybe its because I just don't get what the big deal is any way!!! I don't refer to my heart as the blood pumping device in my chest or my brain as my thinking box. Maybe because so many people try and use ugly words that are meant to degrade the female anatomy. Maybe I just think  you should call something by its proper name to avoid confusion.

Then I started to wonder why are other people so freaked out/don't like the word vagina? I don't know that answer but I would love to know the answer.

Please don't think I say vagina every day (although I have lately because I have been thinking about the word). But that's because I don't talk about my vagina every day not because I am embarrassed to say the word. I also don't go up to completely strangers and talk about my vagina any more than I would my lungs (my appendix is a different matter). I don't discuss any issues regarding my vagina with the store clerk any more than I would my bouts of depression...I will probably blog about it though.

I guess my point is its just a word* describing a body part.

*I feel the same way about the word penis but people seem to be less offended by that word...I wonder why.