Monday, October 25, 2010

I Promise To Be Good

Its possible I have died and gone to hell. I'm not sure how I have deserved the fate I am currently living. I know God does not give us more than we can handle without His help but the Man Upstairs and I are seriously going to have a discussion when we meet.  I have had the weekend from HELL. The kind of weekend that reminds me why its good to be childless and to pray that menopause comes early for me.

Me in the Corn Maze
FRIDAY: THE CHILDREN OF THE CORN LIVE!!!!
After a lovely steak dinner The BF decided that he wanted to take the kids to a corn maze. Being me I was not the least bit prepared to be outside after dark. I had no warm clothing and as usually did not have any proper shoes. This however is not my major concern, I can borrow a sweatshirt and hat and I am willing to sacrifice a pair of cheap shoes to entertain the kids. My concern was that I HATE corn mazes and scarecrows. This was not always the case and it has nothing to do with seeing Children of the Corn the movie. I saw that when I was very young and other than helping me to become a very twisted woman it had no effect on me at all. I use to love corn mazes especially during October when they are haunted. I love being scared and being lost in a corn maze. I use to drag people to them all the time. But I read this book (see Books Books and more Books) that caused me to be freaked out by corn mazes and scarecrows for the rest of my life. In the book the killer was killing people and then hanging them in corn fields as scarecrows. Rather freaky I know. Now driving by a corn field traumatizes me and being in the corn field after dark was making me woozy and light head. Plus it was at night and I was very disoriented the whole time. Did I mention the bales and bales of HAY? No!!!!! I am allergic to hay and even though I was in the corn maze I came home (the BF's house) covered in hay. Causing me to have massive breathing issues all evening.

SATURDAY: SCREW SLEEPY HOLLOW WE HAVE HAUNTED HOLLOW

Nothing scary. YET!!!!
On Saturday after we got very wet at the local Pumpkin Festival with the kids we decided since its muddy and cold lets go to the Haunted Hollow. Nothing says fun like going to a Haunted Hollow with a 12 year old and 5 year old.  Once again I don't have proper clothing so I had to borrow a jacket but I did get a good pair of shoes. (It doesn't matter if they are the only practical shoes I own). So here I am surrounded by hay AGAIN walking through a Haunted Hollow (which was actually very well done) holding the hand of The BFs 5 year old daughter while she freaks out at all the scary people jumping out and yelling at us to get out of the Hollow. When she is not scared stiff she is hiding behind me. And the 12 year old is walking through with his ears covered cause he doesn't like loud noises. At one point the 5 year old actually jumped into my arms. After we "escaped" she asked if we can go again. Of course that wasn't enough they then wanted their pictures taken with the pioneer scarecrows at the entrance. Are you serious???

SUNDAY: OMG ITS A GIANT MOUSE!!!!

Chuck E Cheese
On Sunday my sister decided we would celebrate my nieces birthday at the most horrible place for an adult to be...CHUCK E CHEESE'S. Apparently my sister hates all the people in her life.  There is no place more horrible for a single adult to be then Chuck E Cheese. Its full of children running around on a sugar high trying to get to every arcade game and ride possible before running of tokens. Its left to the parents to hold tickets won and keep track of shoes, socks, jackets and any other thing the child has decided to drop in their wake. Not being a parent you would think I was excused from participating in this fun activity. Nope being dad's Girlfriend and an Auntie means everything gets handed to me and I am expected to keep it all straight. The worse part was the giant mouse (see Hickory Dickory...OMG Its A Mouse.) I don't like people in costumes that cover their faces and I really don't like people who dress as giant mice. (Yes that means you Mickey Mouse)

So what I am left asking myself on this Monday after the carnage, is what did I do that was so horrible that I am now in hell? And would I change anything known this is where I would end up? I don't think I would. The look on my nieces and the BF's kids faces was all worth the torment I know face.

4 comments:

  1. You should be more prepared with warm clothes and practical footwear. Did you think we live in Florida???

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is Chuck. That's Mr. Cheese, to you, by the way.
    Just wanted to let you know something:

    I know where you live.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well Mr.Cheese....BRING IT!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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