Monday, March 7, 2011

Deer: Innocent Animals or Homegrown Terrorist Organization?

Sign on the Box Elder County side of Sardine Canyon
Deer annoy me!!! Next to The BFs dog I think they are the dumbest animals on the planet.(I also think cows, sheep and turkeys are dumb also but this post is about deer.) I can't see any merit to deer other than when prepared right they taste damn good. Actually I think they are the kamikaze pilots of the animal world.

Now that I think about it I'm pretty sure we are at war with wild indigenous animals in this country and don't even know it. The animals are probably angry that we have taken so much of there grazing land and in a unanimous decision they declared war on us. And in what appears to be a crazy move the deer have volunteered for suicide missions. The skunks are of course the equivalent to the road side bombing.
Sign on the Cache County side of Sardine Canyon
In our ignorance we do not recognize their constant suicide attempts as a terrorist act. We just think dumb animal and we put up "deer fences' that are ineffective and post signs all over declaring animal crossing. Of course the signs are useless when the deer decided to get between you and your destination by jumping into the road just as you are coming around a turn in the canyon at the posted 60MPH. At that point its to bad so sad hope your wearing your seat belt.

As I make my weekly trek through the canyon and back I have had a few close calls. I have driven through the entrails and blood of the terrorist deer after it was hit by another vehicle. I have seen countless corpses of these poor misguided creatures. I have seen the destruction they do to car, trucks and motorcycles.

ELK!!!! In Sardine Canyon
One time as I was driving home around 10:17PM I came around a corner and the deer turned and looked at me. After being startled and my life flashing before my eyes (and what a weird movie that was) I thought he/she was hitch hiking and I have a strong no hitchhikers policy. I watch a lot of TV and movies. I know what happens when you pick up hitchhikers. But now I believe the terrorist deer was trying to get the courage to jump in front of someones car/truck.

Someone should alert Homeland Security about the threat level RED in America's canyons and rural areas. Something should be done soon.


  1. And not just in the canyons. We don't have many canyons in Iowa but we still have terrorist deer.

  2. This was a good post! lol Just like mom said we have the crazies here too!


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