Holly Sheep!!!!

There are many benefits and just as many draw backs of living in small town rural America.

I am not sure if this falls into the benefits or draw back or drawback category.

It did make my morning commute interesting

Yes, those are sheep!!!

They were herding sheep through the treacherous canyon.

This happens twice a year, moving the sheep from their winter to summer pasture and back again.

Yes, that is my windshield wiper...don't worry that I was taking pictures and driving. I was only driving 7MPH...we had a sheep traffic jam

I have no idea where the summer and winter pasture are but I knew they herd them through the canyon to get them there.

Welcome to my small town.

Momma Loves a Stick Shift

Do you ever have a random thought that leads to a whole conversation in your head?

Not like you are talking to yourself...okay maybe a little. Its more like you have one thought that leads to another and then you have a memory and then you have a whole flush of memories.

I'm sure you do have those moments were you mind is free to wonder around...although if you are having that moment like I did driving 65MPH through a dangerous canyon, then like me you need to stop doing that and pay attention. There is construction with big trucks and workers all over the road....gees girl.

In my defense my thoughts were about cars and driving it went something like this:

• I miss driving a stick shift
• Do they even make stick shifts anymore?
• Do they even teach kids how to drive them in drivers ed now days?
• I would traded my car in for a new modern stick shift that would be cool.
• Does everyone say stick shift? Do other countries call a manual transmission something else?
• Hee Hee I still drive like I'm driving a stick shift. One hand on the gear shift. One foot looking for the clutch.
• I miss my first car. It was a P.O.S.* but a cool P.O.S. because it was a stick.
• That car took a beating and keep on ticking.

This train of thought lead to a bunch of memories about my first car.

It was a great first car. The car was almost as old as I was...blue 1978 Toyota Corolla. I wish I had pictures to show you. It was a box on wheels. I often drove it around like it was a race car.

It was my grandmas car for years until she got in a fender bender, then it was my dads car, then it was mine all mine. *insert evil laughter* Sorry, I was challenging my evil twin there for a moment. I drove the car around for a few years until I decided  to roll it 3 times on the interstate. What can I say I was bored that day. Even after that it still started. I briefly considered driving it still but I managed to smash all the glass out of the windows and "moosh" down the top...so it really wasn't drivable.

That's what I thought about today.  What were your random thought about today?

*Just in case you are not familiar with this term P.O.S. means piece of shit. It is often used when referring to junky cars. I use it as a term of enderament I loved my car.

I am About to Get Disinherated

Driving through the treacherous canyon 5 days a weeks has given me a lot of time to reflect. It has also given me a lot of time to listen to the radio on my way to work. Much to my dismay there is only one radio station I can get all the way to work. Its not a bad radio station it plays a lot of older rock songs from the 70s, 80s and occasionally the 90s. Its kind of fun. A lot of the songs I grew up listening to (thanks dad) or choose to listen to in my youth. You get a lot of AC/DC, Led Zepplin, Bon Jovi (*sigh*...I still think he is hot).

I have recently discovered that a band I previously thought I liked I really don't. They are OK but I am not sure what the big deal. This is some what of a problem for me because I am genetically and environmentally wired to like them. I am a little afraid to admit it out loud that I don't like them.

What will my friends and family think?

Will they stop talking to me?

Will I be ostracized?   

But I am tired of being ashamed and I am going to say out loud I am not a fan of.....PINK FLOYD. *gasp*

Did you hear the collective sigh of people my age?

I just think they are over rated. They haven't made any music in like 3 or 4 DECADES!!! Most their songs have bizarre lyrics that if you think about to often you will go crazy. And they only sound really good when you are high. (Not That I would know mom). The strange part is I do believe they wrote one of the best songs ever.*

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,

blue skies from pain.

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have you found? The same old fears.

Wish you were here.



Stuart Townsend

But it's not like they are The Who. I love The Who. Pete Townsend is a creative genius. We have as lot we should be thanking Pete Townsend for. Wonderful songs like Baba O'Riely, Wont be Fooled Again, Behind Blue Eyes and not to mention his very hot and talented son Stuart Townsend (*sigh*....he is so yummy).

I have also discovered that I am not as big of a fan of Metallica as I was in my youth. This is also odd because their was a time when I would have stalked James Hedfeild if I wasn't lazy and 16 years old living in Utah. I think mostly I am "so over" them because they have been over played on every rock station in Utah and Idaho since the Black Album came out. Some radio stations have parts of their days dedicated to Metallica STILL. And lets be honest they haven't had a good album since.....well that is still debated by some so I am not going to say.

*The best lyrics of all time belong to Smashing Pumpkins....the world is a Vampire sent to drain and Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.

Kick off your Sunday Shoes!!!

Today as I was driving home from work an oldie but goody song came on the radio. As I was cruising along and singing at the top of my lungs about how I need to cut loose, my mind started to wonder....well as much as I will let when barreling through the canyon at 65MPH.

As I wondered I realized I really wanted to start dancing, I mean how can you not when the song you are singing and listening to is all about dancing. But more specifically I wanted to dance like the final scene in Footloose (Whoa, I'm turning it loose). I wasn't sure I wanted to share with everyone that Kenny Loggins' Footloose makes me want to cut loose with my dancing shoes but I figure I cant be the only 30+ girl out their that wants to bust a move in her car just because a song from my childhood comes on the radio.

Of course that was until I realized that I often want to dance in my car. Or dance anywhere for that matter. They other day Pat Benatar's Love is a Battlefield came on the radio at work and I was shimming my shoulders like in the video. I want to do Michael Jackson's Thriller Dance and one day I know someone is going to say, "No body puts Baby in the corner." and dance off with me and the entire staff of some remote mountain retreat.

Okay maybe I am a little weird but just in case I am not please please please tell me the songs that make you want to dance. I don't want to be the only one who does this.

Have you Ever Tried to Sneeze with your Eyes Open?

Today as I was driving home I was reminded of one of the things I would change about myself if I had a magic wand. And I would need a magic wand because its not one of those things I could changes without one. Its not like wishing I didn't waste so much time online or that I would exercise more. Its one of those things that not even my beautician or a plastic surgeon could fix.

If I could I would change how I sneeze so that I was one of those girls who sneeze quietly and daintily. You know the girls, the ones who barely even sneeze. Their faces get all scrunched up and all you get is a little tiny achoo and they have no need to sneeze again for 6 months. I am not that girl I am the girl who has the full body balls to the wall AAACHOOO!!! And I don't do this once but usually 3 times in a room.  And yes while I was driving I was remind why I want to be one of those girls.

As I was on my way home from work, driving through the treacherous canyon, I notice a highway patrol car behind. I check me speed I am at a respectable 2-3 miles over the speed limit. I scan for my cell phone safely out of sight and hearing in my purse (this is to avoid reading messages). Check my hands they are at 10 and 2, okay more like 730 and on the gear shift but I am doing good when the unavoidable happens. I sneeze.

And because I sneeze like a grown-up and not my cat and I drive a cute but light weight car, it jerks when I sneeze.

AAACHOOO...Did they officer just speed up to better read my plates.

AAACHOOO...Is he typing my plate number into his computer. I would like to pause for a moment and ask how is this any different than texting and driving, which is illegal in the state of Utah? I think its a car accident waiting to happen.

AAACHOOO...Office is now speaking into his walkie/talkie thing to run a check on me probably becuse his computer was to slow.

AAACHOOO...That's right I got a bonus sneeze tonight. And I am now trying to remember if I have current proof of insurance in my car. I really hope I do because if I get pulled over its going to go something like this...

No officer I have not been drinking I just got off work as a domestic violence victim advocate (yea Im disclosing that up front I need a pass).

No really I sneezed

Yes 4 times in a row, I have allergies

No I don't mind doing a field sobriety test but I cant walk a straight line in my bare feet. You can call my sister she's a police officer too (hell ya if necessary I will name drop) and will explain my wobbly nature.

Please ignore the angry rottweiler in the backseat trying to get out of my car. She doesn't like strange men and especially strange men in uniforms, especially if those men in uniforms are police officers or the mailman. Another pause how do dogs know they are uniforms? Seriously would she react this way if my sister and were dressed identical?

Luckily despite my prepared response the highway patrol passed me by without pulling me over.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let...Oh Hell No!!!

Yes I am going to talk about moving in with The BF again. I'm sorry if you don't want to read about it anymore but my life is quite and nothing is going on right now. It’s all I’ve got at the moment.

This morning as I was driving from The BF's house back to my house, I encountered a snow storm. And to be honest I am ready for some sun. And I forgot to check the weather on Friday and was completely under prepared, clothing wise, for the snow.

And I never really thought about winter driving in my Aveo everyday. For the most part I have avoided most the winter storms in my driving back and forth. And if there is one it was no big deal I just waited it out. But now that I will be moving there I can’t avoid driving in the snow forever. And even though they keep the road plowed it is still a scary place to be in a storm.

So I would like to ask Mother Nature one little favor could you arrange for it to snow only between the hours of 6:00PM and 6:00AM. I don't feel this is too much to ask.

Deer: Innocent Animals or Homegrown Terrorist Organization?

Sign on the Box Elder County side of Sardine Canyon

Deer annoy me!!! Next to The BFs dog I think they are the dumbest animals on the planet.(I also think cows, sheep and turkeys are dumb also but this post is about deer.) I can't see any merit to deer other than when prepared right they taste damn good. Actually I think they are the kamikaze pilots of the animal world.

Now that I think about it I'm pretty sure we are at war with wild indigenous animals in this country and don't even know it. The animals are probably angry that we have taken so much of there grazing land and in a unanimous decision they declared war on us. And in what appears to be a crazy move the deer have volunteered for suicide missions. The skunks are of course the equivalent to the road side bombing.

Sign on the Cache County side of Sardine Canyon

In our ignorance we do not recognize their constant suicide attempts as a terrorist act. We just think dumb animal and we put up "deer fences' that are ineffective and post signs all over declaring animal crossing. Of course the signs are useless when the deer decided to get between you and your destination by jumping into the road just as you are coming around a turn in the canyon at the posted 60MPH. At that point its to bad so sad hope your wearing your seat belt.



As I make my weekly trek through the canyon and back I have had a few close calls. I have driven through the entrails and blood of the terrorist deer after it was hit by another vehicle. I have seen countless corpses of these poor misguided creatures. I have seen the destruction they do to car, trucks and motorcycles.



ELK!!!! In Sardine Canyon

One time as I was driving home around 10:17PM I came around a corner and the deer turned and looked at me. After being startled and my life flashing before my eyes (and what a weird movie that was) I thought he/she was hitch hiking and I have a strong no hitchhikers policy. I watch a lot of TV and movies. I know what happens when you pick up hitchhikers. But now I believe the terrorist deer was trying to get the courage to jump in front of someones car/truck.

Someone should alert Homeland Security about the threat level RED in America's canyons and rural areas. Something should be done soon.