Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Does Everyone Love Raymond?

I am a big believer in family. Family is important. But can you have to much family? Does having overly involved family cause problems in your relationship?

I believe it does. Don't misunderstand me I love my family, I love them a lot but that doesn't mean that I want them involved in my every day home life.  I think some things are best kept between a couple...and not just the sex stuff.

You see every couple fights and in a "normal" relationship those fights can be really stupid. Eventually you will forgive your partner but when you get your family involved they don't forgive as easily. They remember the time when your partner said something stupid and upset you, and they may inadvertently undermine your relationship. At the end of the day (or few days) you and your partner move on and your family doesn't.

There should be distance between parents and kids once they are married and start their own family. Your priority is no longer your parents or siblings but your partner ans the life you have together. You should not live across the street from your parents or siblings, my advice is move to another city or at least across town.

Keeping your relationship between the two of you becomes harder and harder when the in-laws can see everything that is happening in your living room from their front window.  Imagine the text messages, phone calls, and well meaning relatives all the sudden in your business; giving advice, getting involved and worst of all picking sides.  Even biblical teaching tell you to leave your fathers house and cleave to your partner (seriously it is mentioned 3 times).

It might sound fun and convenience to have grandparents and aunts/uncles living next door or across the street but the constant involvement in your life will cause nothing but stress and strive. I know sometimes family helps by babysitting and picking kids up from school and oh yeah the cousins can play together but all that can be done from different neighborhoods.

Respect the boundaries that a family has and keep a physical distance. Remember that show, Everyone Loves Raymond, it makes great TV but in reality it makes for a bad situation

None of this applies if your relationship is violent...if you are in a domestic violence situation please call the national hotline, 1-800-799-7233, to get help in your area.

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