Are You Being Poisoned?

Since its a new year I figure it is time to get rid of the bad in our life.

There are many ways yo be poisoned.

1. You could ingest toxic chemicals. 
2. You could be bitten by a venomous spider or snake. 
3. You could be eating foods that are slowly poisoning you. 
4. You could have people in your life that are not good for you.

The last one is what I will be my topic today. Are the people in your life poisoning you?

There are several times of "bad for you people":

1. The first is the everything is the "anti-silver lining": No matter what happen its always bad. They get a promotion, they hate their job. They go on vacation but only talk about the dirty house they came home to. They get 97% on a test, it's not 100%. They find the one rain drop in the sky and its now a monsoon.
2. Next comes "the my life is better". Congratulations you got engaged but your story isn't very romantic is it? Mine on the other hand was wildly romantic and better than any other story ever.
3. My favorite is the "fun sucker": Similar to the anti-silver lining person, this person has the uncanny ability to take the most awesome amazing moment and drain every ounce of joy right out of it.

It's not always easy to get this people out of your life especially when they are coworkers and family but you

can limit your exposure to them as much as possible. Having people like this in your daily life will put a strain on your mental, emotional and physical health.

I am  not advocating you go around only looking at puppies and rainbows...sometimes life is hard and sad but these people make it worse with their unsupportive and negative attitude.

Instead you should surround yourself with the following 4 types of people:

1. The Helper: Protects you when you are vulnerable, and likewise your wealth, being a refuge when you are afraid, and in various tasks providing double what is requested.
2. The Enduring Friend: Telling you secrets, guarding your own secrets closely, not abandoning you in misfortune, and even dying for you.
3. The Mentor: Restraining you from wrongdoing, guiding you towards good actions, telling you what you ought to know, and showing you the path to productive life.
4. The Compassionate Friend: Not rejoicing in your misfortune, delighting in your good fortune, preventing others from speaking ill of you, and encouraging others who praise your good qualities.

In addition to surrounding yourself with these people you should also become them to the different people in your life. 

Who in your life can you be The Helper? The Enduring Friend? The Mentor? The Compassionate Friend?

Does Everyone Love Raymond?

I am a big believer in family. Family is important. But can you have to much family? Does having overly involved family cause problems in your relationship?

I believe it does. Don't misunderstand me I love my family, I love them a lot but that doesn't mean that I want them involved in my every day home life.  I think some things are best kept between a couple...and not just the sex stuff.

You see every couple fights and in a "normal" relationship those fights can be really stupid. Eventually you will forgive your partner but when you get your family involved they don't forgive as easily. They remember the time when your partner said something stupid and upset you, and they may inadvertently undermine your relationship. At the end of the day (or few days) you and your partner move on and your family doesn't.

There should be distance between parents and kids once they are married and start their own family. Your priority is no longer your parents or siblings but your partner ans the life you have together. You should not live across the street from your parents or siblings, my advice is move to another city or at least across town.

Keeping your relationship between the two of you becomes harder and harder when the in-laws can see everything that is happening in your living room from their front window.  Imagine the text messages, phone calls, and well meaning relatives all the sudden in your business; giving advice, getting involved and worst of all picking sides.  Even biblical teaching tell you to leave your fathers house and cleave to your partner (seriously it is mentioned 3 times).

It might sound fun and convenience to have grandparents and aunts/uncles living next door or across the street but the constant involvement in your life will cause nothing but stress and strive. I know sometimes family helps by babysitting and picking kids up from school and oh yeah the cousins can play together but all that can be done from different neighborhoods.

Respect the boundaries that a family has and keep a physical distance. Remember that show, Everyone Loves Raymond, it makes great TV but in reality it makes for a bad situation

None of this applies if your relationship is violent...if you are in a domestic violence situation please call the national hotline, 1-800-799-7233, to get help in your area.

Dear Frustrated at Home

Dear Advice Columnist,

Sometimes I wish I was still single, like last night. It was not a good night for my family. Teenagers were angry, tempers soared, words were spoken in frustration. It is not always like this we are not a well oiled machine but we have a nightly routine that works very well and last night it all fell apart in glorious fashion and I thought to myself, "this kind of thing never happened when I was single". Everything that could go wrong did go wrong...including the dog eating our dinner. I don't know what to do my family is making me crazy and I am thinking of running away.

Sincerely,
Frustrated at Home


Dear Frustrated at Home,

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Family life is not always easy. There will always be times when things go wrong but try and remember the times when everything goes absolutely right. Running away wont make it better. Family life can be hard but also very rewarding....and in 6 months you will look back on last night and laugh about the dog eating dinner because lets face it that is pretty damn funny.

Sincererly,  
Advice Columnist

The Girl Who Said NO

I was not always a self assured girl you know and love today. Once I was timid and insecure. No really I was, I was just really good at hiding it by being loud.

Been then one day I changed...okay maybe it was over time but I did in fact change.

You may be wondering, "How do you know you really changed? Maybe you are just so good at acting you have fooled yourself." That is a very good question and I think the answer is that I can say no without feeling guilty. 

I no longer worry that telling a friend/family member will make them love/like me less. I don't care if that is your response to my declining your invitation or request for a favor. Before my metamorphoses I would have cared.

I would often say yes putting my needs/wishes after everyone else's needs due to fear that you may not like me as much if I said no. So while I may have appeared to be confident I was in fact a scared little people pleaser. 

Then I started saying no and it was empowering. 

I didn't become selfish (okay maybe I did..little) but I just decided I would only say yes if I could do so without resentment and fear. This was liberating. I was actually happier and was able to do the things I needed and wanted to do. When I was do what ever you asked of me I smiled and was helpful.

It wasn't easy. At first I would stress out every time I said no. I was in a constant state of worry but I started to realize that me saying no did not cause the world to end. Saying no did not impact our relationship and if you no longer liked me that said more about you than me. 

Saying no was not a commentary on our relationship either. It was just me saying I am not able to do that and sometimes I don't want to do that. 

I don't always say no. I say yes a lot because I am a nice person who likes to help people and like enjoy the company of others but I will do it on my terms.

Does this make me selfish?

Healing Broken Bones

After getting my diagnostic and then a cast I immediately went home and searched ways to help a broken bone heal on Google.

I got a lot of information and thought I would share...in case you one day need this information.

10 Ways to Heal a Broken Bone Faster

1. No drinking.  I can do that, I like a glass of wine or a cocktail but if it means my hand heals faster I am willing to give it up until it heals.
2. No smoking.  I don't smoke so no problem here.
3. Eliminate caffeine. WTH!!!!  I don't think so...the world is not ready for me and no caffeine.
4. Eat a balanced diet that includes the recommended amount of calcium. Not a problem I like calcium rich foods and not just the good ones like ice cream.
5.  Follow doctor’s orders concerning your treatment plan. Easy enough he said don't use my hand and then he put a cast on it so I can't use it.
6. Don’t overdo!  Not easy for me but hey if I need to lie around to get better its a sacrifice I am willing to make.
7. Stay happy!  I am a happy person...except for this last week I have been all melancholy but that is only because I hate limitations I am working it out. 
8. Take prescribed pain medications when you need them. Hey I didn't get any pain medication..no fair.
9. Do something for someone else. Hello Victim Advocate!!!!
10. Bless others by opening your heart to receive their help. I have no problem asking for help. I'm 5'1" I can never reach anything and have had to ask people for help my whole life.

One last bit of advice if you brake your scaphoid like I did you should also avoid activities with a risk of falling onto hand (for example, inline skating, jumping on a trampoline). Or if you are me walking in general.

Put Some Effing Clothes On

I try not to rant and rave on my blog. I like happy funny posts or posts about improving my personality.

So its rare that I rant about a topic but today I am going on a rant.

I am tired of seeing people walking around in their pajama pants.Yesterday at 2PM I saw a couple pushing a baby stroller wearing t-shirts and pajama pants. Seriously, what is so hard about putting on some clothes??? Really is it so difficult for you to get out of bed and put on a pair of jeans instead of those ugly pajama pants.

We all know you did not just wake up and decide to take the baby for a walk and were to busy to get dressed. Admit it you have been up for hours decided to go for a walk on this beautiful day and instead of putting on a pair of jeans you slipped into a clean pair of pajama pants.

They don't say I am to cool to care what I am wearing they say I am a lazy slop.

But my annoyance goes further than just a lack of style by so many people in my small town.

The other day as I was walking out of the county courthouse I see a couple and their daughter walking in...I cant help but over hear the mother saying to the girl, "I cant believe you are wearing this to court. Its inappropriate." I look over at mom and her outfit is almost identical to her daughters. Maybe if we want our children to dress in a fitting manner then we should do so also.

And why we are on the subject do not go to court in shorts, tank top and flip flops. It will just annoy the judge and you will have to come back when you are dressed appropriately.

I would like to add that if you are really ill/your appendix ruptures (true story before I let The BF drive me to the hospital when my appendix ruptured I changed out of my pajama pants and into my yoga pants) you are entitled to go to the store/hospital to get medicine/have surgery in yoga pants*. As long as they are nice looking and you brush your hair also.

*It is always okay to go to the store in workout pants or yoga pants if you have just been working out.

But What Do I Do with the Fennel?

Today I got my first ever Bountiful Baskets. a basket that is 50% fruit and 50% vegetables. You should check it, its pretty cool.

This week the basket was:

• Cabbage
• Red Peppers
• Tomatoes
• Zucchini
• Broccoli
• Fennel
• Apples
• Bananas
• Black Berries
• Pears
• Kiwi
• Watermelon

I am very excited. My sister, mom and several friends have all participated in the Bountiful Basket experience. I have wanted to do it for ever but I am not much of a morning person especially on Saturday but I finally bite the bullet and ordered one. Imagine my surprise when I didn't have to pick it up until 10:15AM. I can do that easy peasy.

But now I am looking at this assortment of food thinking what in the hell am I going to cook. The fruit is easy to deal with but all the vegetables!!!!

Okay so I am only worried about one vegetable.....The Fennel. I already have ideas and plans for everything else. But what the hell am I going to do with a Fennel. I don't think I a have ever eaten a Fennel. I am guessing you eat the big bulb part but the stalks and "leaves" (or whatever they are called) look good I bet you can do something with them also.

Do you have any ideas???

If so PLEASE leave a comment with a recipe or a link to a recipe or just suggestion on what I should do. I would hate for the poor thing to be wasted.

Advice from Aunt Michael

This post is dedicated to my nieces and psedo-stepdaughter.

If you only learn a few things from me let these be some of the things.

1. The right shade of lip gloss turns a bad day into a good day.
2. When in doubt always add more hair spray.
3. Have at least 3 pairs of cheap stylish sunglasses.
4. This is Utah your hair can always be bigger.
5. Add a scarf. It will make you feel stylish no matter what type of day you are having.