Not to long ago I talked about maybe wanting to have a baby and I am still a little unsure about what I want. In an attempt to determine my feelings I decided it would be smart to talk to The BF to find out what he thinks....I now doubt my ability to make decisions.
The BF is against having another child...seriously against having a baby or so he says. He is sending some serious mixed signals.
Be warned this conversation is about to get personal!!!!!
He says No No No he has two kids and he doesn't want anymore. His reasons (I think are silly but they are his thoughts/feelings and I don't want to dismiss them because he has a right to them) are that he will be to old and he doesn't think it would be fair to the child to have an old dad that cant do the things he does now. Even if I got pregnant today he would be 42 when the baby was born which would make him 60 when it graduate from high school. Also babies are expensive and he worries that we will not be able to provide for a child once he retires.
Now that you know what he is thinking lets talk about his actions. Until recently I have been religious about preventing "accidental" pregnancy but I have stopped taking all my preventative methods...The BF is aware of this but is not using any form of prevention. He doesn't even talk about using precautions or attempt to use them even though I know we have condoms (they are in his nightstand) we could be using.
I have mentioned, several times, that this is the equivalent of playing baby Russian roulette but still no preventative methods of any kind are used.
When I talk to him about this (which is not easy) he says if we "accidentally" get pregnant that's okay we just can not plan or try to get pregnant. WHAT THE HELL!!!!
Isn't having sex with out protection planning on getting pregnant????
I am so very confused by this....his words say no but his actions say yes maybe.
And lets be honest he is going to think I planned it if I do "accidentally" get pregnant so shouldn't I just go ahead and plan it?