Some time back I thought I might want to have a baby and discussed the possibility with The BF. And the only thing that has changed is that I have gone from maybe I want to I do want...unfortunately my body has decided it does not want.
That's right in a moment of true irony it appears that now that I want to have a baby, I am going to have troubles conceiving.
Now I have to ask myself, what if I don't get pregnant?
Does it change my life? Will I be able to move past it all? I just revised my future to include a child can I revise it again? Will I find my contentment with a different future? Can I go back and embrace my reasons for being childless? Am I really childless if I have "pseudo" step-kids? Do I ask myself to many questions?
I can't seem to help asking all these questions. The biggest one being to I go blazing into the world of infertility treatments or just throw my hands in the arm saying, "Que Sera, Sera"?
No wonder The BF looks at me like I am crazy all the time.