Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dead Dogs Running!!!

Bosco: Doesn't he look innocent?

Way back in November we had a huge snow storm that required me to have to go out in the morning to warm up my car and scrape/brush all the snow of my little red car. Being stretched for time I thought I will let the dogs out while I am brushing off the car. Since I had recently retrieved my only practical shoes from my moms house I very practically put them on to keep my feet dry and warm. Now these boots didn't look very good with my "ski lodge" sweater (just a little side note here: I happen to think I look AMAZING in sweaters. I believe this in part is why I live somewhere that's cold. For 9 months a year I can wear very cute sweaters, jeans and boots with a 3 inch heel and look like I am vacationing in Aspen Colorado) or the very cute jeans I had on but as I said I was being practical.

Tashi: Isn't she sweet when she is sleeping?
The dogs were having fun running and jumping in the snow, which was making me smile. Not 2 seconds after I was thinking what a great idea and at least the dogs are having fun. My dog Tashi took off into the neighbors yard followed by my sisters dog Bosco. So I go after them tromping in these practical shoes that are actually a bit awkward to run in. As the little shits keep going into another neighbors yard and then across the street I follow calling for them (OK I may have been yelling at then and saying all sorts of bad words that would make the most seasoned sailor blush). The assholes finally stop at a neighbors yard that also has a dog out in the yard to what I can only assume is the dog equivalent of gossiping with the neighbors and comparing who has the better humans..."OH Yea well my human can beat up your human." Jumping on this opportunity I hurry across the street but not being used to the big heavy boots (I think I could have done this in heels) I lose my footing and twist my knee. Knowing I cant stop or I will be chasing dogs all morning I keep going until I can grab the dogs and yell at them all the way home. Once home and the dogs safely locked up I sit in my car and take stock of my injury. I can tell my knee is already swelling I dig around in my purse and dry swallow a couple Ibuprofen and go to work. By the time I get to work I can barely walk into work because my knee hurts.

Tigger: Don't you want to pet her?
One morning in December as I stumble through my house blindly trying not to step on the never ending toys that amazingly find their way out of my nieces' bedroom and into the hallway I stepped on what turned out to be Tigger's tale. You see unlike other cats that ignore humans until they want something Tigger thinks she is a dog 50% of the time and is often under food like a dog. Don't get me wrong she will sit on the banister and swat you with her claws as you wake by and jump on your book while you are trying to read so you will pay attention to her but the rest of the time she acts like a dog. Including getting in to the garbage, drinking out of the toilet and running to greet you at the door when you get home. This morning immediately after I stepped on her tale and hear a loud annoyed meow and my ankles get attacked due to my assault. I step back and end up stepping on some random toy and fall hurting my knee again. I am not sure how I did this but it was soon swelled up and throbbing AGAIN

Now none of this is new news or even a strange series of events. If you have read my blog at all (Call Me Grace, That Bitch Grace has Returned) you know I am not graceful  and that I routinely brake stuff (My BF is Macgyvers Long Lost Son). The reason I am telling you this is because my mom had decided to workout again after a 40 year hiatus from working out. Yes 40 years!!! The last time she worked out was her sophomore year in high school  which was 1970. I am very excited and very proud but she needs a partner to keep her motivated and guess who is her partner!!!! That's right me. I am not complaining and I am actually happy to help out because it will keep me working out. The problem is after spending 15 minutes on the elliptical my knee is killing me. Lets pray that I keep going.

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