Friday, June 17, 2011

Dating Your Friends Ex-Husband

Recently it was brought to my attention that I have not written about how I ended up dating my friend’s ex-husband, I have written about the dumb things he says, his patience with the things I do, my insecurities about our relationship and my frustrations but not about how we meet. I often get questions like did you know her before you meet him? Did you become friends later? Was she mad at you? Is it weird? And the answer are yes, we became better friends, no and sometimes. So for all the curious out there this is how to date your friend’s ex-husband or at least how I ended up doing it.

On my 34th birthday (how can I possibly be in my 30s) I was out to dinner with some friends. We were all laughing and joking when someone asked what my birthday wish was for the year. My response was I need a Mr. Right Now (sorry mom), I have been single for 4 years I am tired of working on myself I want to work on someone else. After much laughter and remarks about my non-sex life, one of my friends said I can set you up with my ex-husband, actually will you please date him?

After even more laughter I said sure why not wait what's wrong with him. She said nothing. This of course caused us all to laugh more and ask why she is not married to him if there is nothing wrong with him. She claimed that they were just bad together but he is a good guy and good father. So I laughing said sure give him my number I am desperate enough to date my friend's ex-husband.

Now I didn't think she would really do it, after all that's weird setting friends up with your ex-husband, no matter how casual of friends.

That night when I got home I noticed I had a text message that said Hi, this is _______. Happy Birthday! I was a bit confused. Random texts from people I don’t know wishing me happy bday is odd even for my life. Then I remember my friend saying she's going to give my number to her ex. So I text him back.

For 3 months we send texts but never talked on the phone or met. He keep trying to get together but it was a bad time in my life and I was a little freaked out about dating my friend’s ex-husband because it is weird. I am a very "modern" person but it was just weird. The only person who knew we were even texting was his ex-wife/my friend. I told no one. Not my close friends, not my sister, not my best friend, no one.

Then in January he asked me if I had seen the movie Avatar yet, which I hadn't. So I finally agreed to go out with him. This caused a fair amount of panic on my apart and then on my friends part when I told them. First I had to call his ex-wife/my friend to make sure she really was ok with all this and then I need to have a wardrobe consultation with my friends who were all shocked that for 3 months I was texting someone and then some how managed not to tell them. I am not known for my secretive nature.

That night he picked me up took me to dinner, the bookstore, a movie, and then we went back to his house to watch another movie. At 2:45AM he drove through the treacherous canyon and took me home. And I will be honest we necked a little in front of my house (again sorry mom). I made him promise to text me when he got home. And he did. We made plans for the next weekend, then the next then the next and soon I was spending the weekends at his house meeting his kids and family.

His ex-wife/my friend and I became closer friends. She says she doesn't have to worry about the kids because she knows I am good with kids and I’m a kind person. Plus she gets to go around saying she picked her ex-husbands new girlfriend.

And I get to have a kick ass how you met story, post things on Twitter and Facebook like shopping with my boyfriend’s ex-wife and get to see the looks on people's faces when I tell them, I’m dating my friend's ex-husband. Not to mention endless fodder for my blog.

38 comments:

  1. WOW!! I think you found your niche...maybe you could make book reviews another page on your blog.

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  2. I was thinking of moving them to a new blog just about books.

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  3. WOW that's really an interesting story! Kinda funny and kinda cute.

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  4. What a great story! It trumps my "My husband was drunk when we met and I'm glad" story! Thank you for sharing it :)

    (PS: I love your recommendation about using more hairspray if you are in doubt in another post)

    #commenthour

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  5. Hilarious post. This takes sharing between friend to a whole new level. But hey, you have a point. You and your boyfriend have a fantastic "how we met" story and your friend gets to say she picked her ex-husband's new girlfriend. Win-win situation.

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  6. Its not always a perfect arrangment but the kids are happy and so are the 3 adults. Plus I have endless subject matter when it comes to my blog.

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  7. That is really cool. I was wondeirng how that happened too.:-)

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  8. That is an awesome story. My friend once told me that if you have a great "how we met story" it was meant to be :D

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  9. Love this! Glad your story has a happy ever now. This does make for a lot of fodder. My mother used to get a kick out of telling people her sister-in-law was also her sister. After my parents had been married for five years... My mother's mother and my father's father got married. So my parents also became my aunt and uncle. Hehe. Of course their story isn't a happy ever ever. Life is interesting.

    Peace

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    1. I am sorry that didnt have a happy ending. After my parents divorced my dad married my moms 3rd cousin...I think its 3rd cousin. So that makes my dad my cousin by married.

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  10. I love this story! :)

    My ex-husband's first ex-wife and I have remained friends even though he and I divorced 10 years ago. We call each other "wife in law," like to say that the reason we are such good friends is that our ex, "has really good taste in wives."

    Anyway, great #FBF post, and isn't it great that the kids are happy? It's like the more loving family members are around, the better!

    ~Tui

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    1. I think a working relationship with the exwife is a must when kids are involved. Being friends before hand just makes it easier.

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  11. Wow...talk about an interesting 'how we met story'! ♥

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  12. Good story, I love the fact that they get along (ex husband and wife) and so glad you met someone wonderful! Happy SITS day!

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  13. Complicated - right! Love the happy ending! And Happy SITS Day! :)

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  14. Great story! It's neat when things work out. Lots of luck!

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  15. What a unique story - thanks for sharing! I loved the part about how your friend said she has comfort knowing that her kids are in good hands with you. Happy SITS Day!

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  16. Well, at least you can say you had fun meeting your friend's ex-husband and know you have a conversation starter where ever you go! lol! :-)

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  17. Your friend sounds awesome. :) So glad you met Mr. Right for you. :)

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  18. As a mom, I completely understand why and how your friend was so comfortable with this set up...clever gal!

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  19. Truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction....

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  20. Clicking in from SITS- LOVE the post! Great it has worked out for you guys. Love the part about your friend not having to worry about her kids. Ah if we could all do that! LOL

    Have a great day!

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  21. This is really funny, actually. Glad it is working out for you. Your girlfriend is probably really happy, because she knew you before and she can tell people she picked you. And she did...

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  22. Wow! It's a good thing you're strong and brave - I think a lot of people wouldn't have gotten together out of fear. But you did and you met someone amazing!

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  23. That is quite an unusual situation. At least if you need to complain in the future, you know your girlfriend understands what you are talking about.

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  24. What a funny story! I imagine you tell it over and over again. And I admire your friend who set you up. She has class.

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  25. My reaction to the title was "oh-noooo" and after I read it, I thought "oh- great!" Cool story.

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  26. I love this post - full of honesty, yet funny. What a great story. :)

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  27. Great get to know you post!

    I had someone try to fix me up with someone's ex once. Not on purpose, but as this person was describing the guy, I said "wait, I think I know this guy, did he used to be married to a girl named..." and she said "yes" and I said "I know his ex-wife, she's my friend, she's moved away, but we still keep in touch.

    When I told my friend that I almost had a date with her ex-husband, she laughed and said it would be fine with her. I didn't pursue it though, it was too weird for me.

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  28. What a great idea for blogging. Everyone has a unique story even if it's we met in highschool. Loved your story. Of course you had me at When Harry Met Sally. Love that movie.

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  29. Actually, you know, that *is* weird, but life is weird, isn't it? I'm glad it's working out.

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  30. So its win win win situation?! That is a great story. And the things you and your friend can discuss could get interesting! LOL Following ya now!

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  31. Wow, that's honestly insane. She must be a really secure women. Did you ever find out why she and your boyfriend never worked out? That would be an awkward conversation. lol.

    Vonae Deyshawn
    www.myvirtueplace.com

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  32. This is hilarious! I love your story and your outlook. Sure, people say things are weird but life can get even more strange - so enjoy what you've got! Which you clearly are :) I stopped over from SITSgirls and I'm so glad I did. Have a great day!

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  33. Wow... that is an interesting story!

    I'm now friends with my ex's wife. That's a little odd, too.

    Stopping by from SITS

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  34. Wow, that's great that you are good friends and that she set you up and that it is actually working out too! It sounds like a win-win-win situation. And it's good that she knew he wasn't a scary person, you had a good recommendation about him! Most don't get that when dating! Congrats on SITS day!

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  35. I think you've got a book here. This spells (to me, anyway) book, book deal that gets pitched to young TV execs or someone options it as a film. Whatever the case, just keep writing about the dynamics of your triangular relationship.

    Great blog! Happy FB on SITS!

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