Recently it was brought to my attention that I have not written about how I ended up dating my friend’s ex-husband, I have written about the dumb things he says, his patience with the things I do, my insecurities about our relationship and my frustrations but not about how we meet. I often get questions like did you know her before you meet him? Did you become friends later? Was she mad at you? Is it weird? And the answer are yes, we became better friends, no and sometimes. So for all the curious out there this is how to date your friend’s ex-husband or at least how I ended up doing it.
On my 34th birthday (how can I possibly be in my 30s) I was out to dinner with some friends. We were all laughing and joking when someone asked what my birthday wish was for the year. My response was I need a Mr. Right Now (sorry mom), I have been single for 4 years I am tired of working on myself I want to work on someone else. After much laughter and remarks about my non-sex life, one of my friends said I can set you up with my ex-husband, actually will you please date him?
After even more laughter I said sure why not wait what's wrong with him. She said nothing. This of course caused us all to laugh more and ask why she is not married to him if there is nothing wrong with him. She claimed that they were just bad together but he is a good guy and good father. So I laughing said sure give him my number I am desperate enough to date my friend's ex-husband.
Now I didn't think she would really do it, after all that's weird setting friends up with your ex-husband, no matter how casual of friends.
That night when I got home I noticed I had a text message that said Hi, this is _______. Happy Birthday! I was a bit confused. Random texts from people I don’t know wishing me happy bday is odd even for my life. Then I remember my friend saying she's going to give my number to her ex. So I text him back.
For 3 months we send texts but never talked on the phone or met. He keep trying to get together but it was a bad time in my life and I was a little freaked out about dating my friend’s ex-husband because it is weird. I am a very "modern" person but it was just weird. The only person who knew we were even texting was his ex-wife/my friend. I told no one. Not my close friends, not my sister, not my best friend, no one.
Then in January he asked me if I had seen the movie Avatar yet, which I hadn't. So I finally agreed to go out with him. This caused a fair amount of panic on my apart and then on my friends part when I told them. First I had to call his ex-wife/my friend to make sure she really was ok with all this and then I need to have a wardrobe consultation with my friends who were all shocked that for 3 months I was texting someone and then some how managed not to tell them. I am not known for my secretive nature.
That night he picked me up took me to dinner, the bookstore, a movie, and then we went back to his house to watch another movie. At 2:45AM he drove through the treacherous canyon and took me home. And I will be honest we necked a little in front of my house (again sorry mom). I made him promise to text me when he got home. And he did. We made plans for the next weekend, then the next then the next and soon I was spending the weekends at his house meeting his kids and family.
His ex-wife/my friend and I became closer friends. She says she doesn't have to worry about the kids because she knows I am good with kids and I’m a kind person. Plus she gets to go around saying she picked her ex-husbands new girlfriend.
And I get to have a kick ass how you met story, post things on Twitter and Facebook like shopping with my boyfriend’s ex-wife and get to see the looks on people's faces when I tell them, I’m dating my friend's ex-husband. Not to mention endless fodder for my blog.