Why does everyone want me to have a baby?
Its actually scary how many people want me to have a baby. In recent months I have heard various forms of the same thing...when are going to have a baby?
Its so bad that a few weeks ago when I had the stomach flu that lingered, which was probably stress. (I get am upset tummy every time I am stressed) All my friends and family thought I was pregnant and keep talking about it to the point were I was so paranoid I bought a pregnancy test just to proof what I already knew. I was not pregnant.
A co-worker/friend along with my mom are conspiring together and make comments like they are going to start spiking my food with antibiotics so my birth control stops working. This has made me so paranoid that when my friend was sick with some bronchial cold in the back of my mind I thought she was faking it so she could get access to the antibiotics and start drugging me.
A local prosecutor keeps telling me that I need to have a kid. He thinks it will make me less of a liberal and more conservative. I told him my baby will be a little peace and love hippie baby complete with a fauxhawk, piercing and tattoo. He laughed and said you will be good at it and you will be more conservative.
Even the Ex-wife/Friend is getting in on the act but for purely selfish reasons. She claims I am so good with her kids I should have one of my own. I tried to explain I am goof with them because 50% of the time they live at her house. It would be different if the child lived with me 24/7. She offered to take the baby on her weekends, this is a ploy to have access to a baby without the responsibilities. She is taking a page from my book.
My mother though has gone nuts. She so wants me to have a baby that the other day we had the following conversation:
- Mom: I think you should have a baby
- Me: Are you kidding?
- Mom: Just try it once to see if you like it.
- Me: Just try it!!!! Really!!!! Its not like I can return a baby after a week if it doesn't work out. Or play with it for a couple months then forget about. Or stick it in the closet when I'm done with it. I'm pretty sure you GO TO JAIL for stuff like that.
- Mom: I am sure your sister (referring to the Health Nut one) would take it if you don't want it.