8 Fridays Left

Did you know that their are only 8 Fridays left until Christmas....Seriously 8 freaking Fridays.

I am having a panic attack.

Usually by this time I have most of my gifts bought, if I don't have them bought I at least always have a plan and a list. Yes I am that person don't judge!!!

Its just that I like to enjoy the holidays and I find it hard to do if I am worrying about my shopping list.

This year I don't even have a list...I have no plan...its going to be a free for all.

Maybe I will just buy myself gifts and forget everyone else.

I am seriously panicking over this....I need to take a deep breath.

I need a list. We follow the 4 gifts rule.

Something they need.
Something they want.
Something they wear.
Something to read.

The kids are easy but The BF is impossible to shop for, I never know what to get him. I wonder if he needs a new hat!!!!

I'm feeling calmer but I need to go make a list. And start planning an office party.

Are you a Holiday gift planner or last minute shopper?

A Random Post From a Random Girl

I have this post in my head but I cant get it out.

Its funny and witty in my head but on my screen it reads weird and awkward.

I don't mind being the weird girl. And I am often awkward. 

But this post is translating into a maybe she needs to go rest in a room with padded walls weird.

Thinking about resting in a room with padded walls has some appeal to me after all I often walk into walls. It seems I wouldn't get hurt as bad if the walls were padded. I wonder if I can pad the walls of my home, and all the counters, tables, chairs, floor....I am really clumsy.

Why are some people more clumsy than others? I don't see my coworkers walking into the walls of the office but I do it all the time. 

Its frustrating to always have new bruise that you can not explain. Its even more frustrating to not be able to express myself like I want.

I bet its just because I cant focus my mind...I have so many things going on in my head it cant fully focus on what I need. I am starting to wonder if my funny and witty post is really that cleaver or if I just think it is because I am so random today.

What are some of the random thoughts you are having today?

Am I a Peeping Tom?

Is it just me or to you also like looking into peoples windows?  I am not talking about sneaking up and spying on people. Its more along the lines of a drive by peep. You know you are the passenger in a car and as the person drives you look at the house and if the people are lucky enough to have the blinds open you look in to see what they are doing or how they decorated the room...Its just a fast 5 second look.

Don't worry this is my house.

Often based on that look I make up stories for the people living in the house. I construct short narratives about what they are doing and and make up dialog for pretend conversations.

Sometimes they have happy peaceful lives and sometime their lives are full of tragedy, I think the stories I make up depend on my mood that day. Houses I drive by often (not because I am stalking but because they live on a often traveled road) have very elaborate stories that are on going and complicated. The cast of characters rival that of Anna Karenina, moving in and out of the story some staying for awhile and others disappearing never to be heard of again.

I can't decided if this is weird or not.  It probably is weird. Most things I do are a little weird. I wonder if I should write these stories down. Maybe I will become a famous writer because of the stories...then I think that is a lot of work. I don't want to write them down its more fun to constantly rewrite them in my head. I feel like that I would never be satisfied with the stories on paper

Now that I have shared all that I realize its a little weird and I am sure someone will be reporting me to the authorities any day now.

Please tell me you do something like this also....or something equally weird.

To Change or Not to Change!

I haven't been writing much in the last few weeks.

At first I thought my life was boring and there wasn't much to write about but a lot has happened.

Then I thought I had writers block but I have had several ideas I just never wrote anything.

Soon I was wondering whats going on....why wasn't I writing? And I came to the conclusion I am having a identity crisis. I no longer no what kind of blog I am writing.

At first it was a place to tell the funny stories that happened to me daily. Then it morphed into a diary of sorts where I talked about all the things that are me including book reviews. But the books reviews were clogging everything about so I moved them and it was just a diary of sorts. Then I starting sharing the occasional recipe and that was really popular.

As I started reviewing the last few months a new theme seems to be emerging, that of a loud mouthed small town single girl that turned into a loud mouthed Donna Reed. No not Donna Reed more like frontier woman. But that has been done before by woman much better at it than me.

Whatever is going on at least I have something to write about again.

Random Thoughts or I am to Sad to Think.

This has been a rough week. My mind is doing that thing were it doesn't focus on any one thought but jumps all around on random things...all of them sad.

In attempt to move on and get something done today I am gong to share the jumble in my head.

Thank goodness I work in an office full of woman...they don't care if I cry. Why are all my clothes so freaking bright? I hate my hair today!! Why do I keep listening to sad music...its not helping me at all. Should I buy something new to wear to the funeral? My head hurts maybe I should get that MRI. Is it to early to add rum to my soda? Is it to early for soda? My mom just texted me...what does she want? I have a feeling I am not getting any work done today. I wish it would rain. My car is dirty. I have to make a fruit salad...I dont like fruit salads. Tomorrow is going to be a rough day. Funerals are sad family reunions.

Just a few of the weird thoughts I have had in the last few minutes. 

Thank you for all your support, kind words and prayers over the last few days. They have meant a lot to me.

No More Ms. Nice Girl

I am not having the best week.

Besides being very bust at work, its been a week full of annoyances.

This has made me irritable.

Which in turn has made me frustrated. I hate being cranky.

In an attempted to move forward and enjoy my weekend, I am going to get some of things bothering out of my head and into yours.

I am sorry in advance.

1. DO NOT SAY WHATEVER:  Whatever is rude. Its says I don't care about you or your comments. It says that you are beneath any real thought in my life and I cant be bothered to even say anything else.  Especially don't say whatever when I congratulate you on 15 years of marriage. That is a horrible response to my sincere comment. The correct response to that is Thank you. Don't say it when I am having a really scary moment and you are annoyed I cant help you with something. The correct response is Okay I understand keep me up dated. 
2. DON'T EXPECT ME TO INVEST IN YOU WHEN YOU DON'T INVEST IN ME: I have a life that is full of demands on my time, Work Family and Friends, and I love my life. I wouldn't change it at all. I like it. But if you are on the fringe of my life, by your choice, and then out of the blue want my support don't be surprised when it is limited. I have limited resources and time I will devote it to those that contribute to me. You can have what is left over but it won't be much.
3. PUSHING MY BUTTONS WILL CAUSE ME TO REACT, WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED? You were doing something annoying and interfered with what I was doing. I politely ask you to stop. You choose not to stop. I ask you to stop again. And again you choose to keep doing what you are doing. So when I get frustrated and yell stop I am not the only bad guy!!! Yes I could have responded better but why do you push the button. You know I will get upset.

Now that I have got that off my chest please have a great weekend...I plan to myself.

Is Today a Holiday?

Today I have been thinking of traditions...which makes perfect sense because its the Fourth of July.

It all started when I woke up all by myself this morning. Yup I am all alone on this National Holiday (more on this tomorrow) and I wondered what would I be doing if my family was here.

Then I realized that we dont really have in traditions for this day any more. 

Once upon a time we would go to my grandparents (who live in a smaller town then my small town); watch the parade, eat whatever grandpa cooked on the grill, light illegal firecrackers, then watching the fireworks. 

Then as we got older I would hang out with friends and doing whatever seemed fun at the time and then watch fireworks...sometimes with friends, sometimes with family.

But as I got older I stopped doing a whole lot on the Fourth of July...sometimes it was because I was working. Other times I just had nothing to do because I lived far from friends and family.

Some where along the way it just became another day.

That sounds like I don't care about celebrating the birth of the country or I am ambivalent to the freedoms I enjoy. Which is not true. I come from a line of people who have served in the armed forces and very much aware of the reasons why my ancestors came to America. I am just not sure how to celebrate especially since I am on my own right now.

Well now that I have rambled on and you are all thinking....wow this girl is a bit pathetic, I would like to say very sincerely have a great and safe Fourth of July.