365 days Until Wedded Bliss

In one year I will be getting married.

That seems like it is forever away and not enough time to plan all at once. To say I am nervous and excited at the same time is an understatement.

Is it strange to be having all these feelings about something so far in the future?  Just yesterday I was fine, I have planned a fun little date for The Fiance and myself but was feeling fairly low key about everything. Then this morning I woke up with a feeling of doom and anticipation.

Its not about planning the event...this is not the first wedding I have planned. Just early this year I planned The Ex-Wife/Friends wedding (I should write about that...talk about a good story) It is different planning your own wedding but I have all the details planned out so for the moment I am very relaxed about it.

I get all excited about taking that next step with The Fiance and planning our future together. I imagine the ups the downs and I can't wait.

Then I have that moment of panic. After all I will be 39 when I get married....39! In my 20s I never imagined I would be getting married at 39. I figured I would be married for 6 or 7 years with a few kids by the time 39 rolled around. And in my early 30s I thought settling down in my 40s seemed like a grand idea, anything before 40 seemed to young. there was just so much to do before I got married.

And here I am planning a big fat Greek Welsh Scottish Rock n Roll wedding at 39. Isn't life weird that way? Neither plan worked out exactly like I planned. Although I do have 2 "soon to be" bonus kids and I will just be shy of my 40th birthday. So maybe both my "life plans" worked out just right.

Is That a Pepper in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

The Fiancee and I recently had a night out, we went to as restaurant that specializes in spicy food...some of it is crazy hot. Which is good with us, we don't mind a little kick to our food. We are not eating ghost peppers or anything but we don't mind our food to be a little sassy.

One of my favorite spice blends is Caribbean Jerk...at least it was until the other night. 

After two bites my mouth was burning.

Half way through the meal my eyes were watering.

By the last bite my cheeks were flushed and my mouth was on fire.

At first I thought it was because they make their Caribbean Jerk spices hotter than normal but The Fiancee took a bite and didn't think it was hot as I did.

Then I thought the reason it burned my mouth was because I am getting older and strange things happen when you are getting older. 

Some times your knees creak when you get up, and your hair isn't as thick as it use to be and for me I guess I can't eat spicy foods like I did when I was younger. 

I have two options; I can either stock up on cottage cheese or I can just suffer the side effects and eat spicy foods.

I love spicy foods and I hate cottage cheese....spicy foods it is.

My Family is Unreasonable

My family is so demanding

• Whats for dinner
• Will you wash my pants 
• My tummy hurts
• Look at my picture
• Help with my project

Its so annoying don't they know I just got a new book in the mail?

A book I have been waiting and waiting and waiting to arrive.

A book that is the 4th book in a series I love. A series that is a spin-off of a different favorite series.

I am dying to read this book but I had to cook dinner first and have family time....what the hell is that all about. I'm sure to much family time is bad for us.

What am I doing telling you all about this? I should be reading.

Do You Lie About Your Bra Size?

Recently I wondered about people who keep secrets their entire life...its seems so hard. How do they do that?

This naturally lead to me wondering do I have any secrets left to tell.

I joke about being an open book, ask and I will tell you most anything. Add in a personal blog that I use like my diary and therapist, there is not much left to tell.

I have spent days and days trying to think of a secret...and I can't think of a single secret.  Well not one worth writing an entire blog post about. I did think of several little ones..

1. I smoked cigarettes for 6 weeks in college.
2. That wasn't the only thing I smoked in college...I really liked cigars.
3. Once I cheated on a boyfriend, not the current one.
4. Sometimes I fake being ill because I don't want to do something.
5. I lie about my bra size.

Okay that last one might just merit a blog post.

Yes I lie about my bra size.

Do you find this shocking? I would wager a bet that more women lie than do not lie (have you seen the all the padding in the bra section of any store).

I don't lie about them being bigger I lie and say they are smaller. Mostly just one cup size smaller, occasional two cups smaller. The idea of admitting my actual cup size freaks me out, it causes me to have panic attacks. I won't even admit it to myself  out loud so how can I admit it to the store clerk, my mother, my boyfriend. 

I have been lying about them for as long as I can remember. Its embarrassing to have the unenhanced bra size that I do...its not natural. 

So here I am admitting to everyone that my cup size is...I can't do it. I really can't. Even now I want to be honest but I refuse to admit it. I am in such strong denial that I won't buy the correct bra sizes if I am shopping with someone....Do you have any idea how many time I have had to return a bra? Its truly ridiculous. Who does that? 

I am not going to tell you but I wonder if they have a bra size lying anonymous like alcoholics anonymous.

Can you imagine those 12 steps? The first step would be admitting you have no power over your bra size. In the meetings you would say Hi, My name is Michael and I am a... We could hold meetings at Lane Bryant and have protests at Victoria Secrets for not having supportive bras in larger sizes for all natural girls.

Now that you know my deep dark secret...what is yours?

Tips to Organizing a Bookshelf

If you are like me (and I suspect some of you are) then your bookshelves are purely functional. They hold books with no room for anything else. Often times they are over flowing with more books than you know what to do with stacked high and deep. You yearn to have a bookshelf that could be featured in a home decorating magazine but then where would you put all your books.

And if you are really like me your bookshelves become unmanageable. And if you are exactly like me you decide that you need to declutter your house top to bottom and nothing is save not even your books.

So I am going to share my personal tips for sorting through my books (and since you are like me you will find them very helpful).

1. Take all your books off the shelf. I recommend tackling the bookshelves one at a time. If you try to do all the book shelves at once you will immediately become overwhelmed and freak out.
2. Make four piles. One loved it want to read it again and again and again. Two like it may read it again. Three hated it why do I still own this book. Four haven't read it yet. Occasionally there is a fifth pile why do I have two copies of the same book.
3. Now go through the fourth pile, haven't read it yet, and ask yourself honestly am I going to read it? Make a new pile of the books you will not read.
4. Take all the hate it books and books you won't read and place in a box to be donated or traded at local book store.
5. Now place all the books from pile one, books you love, and books from pile four, haven't read, that you decided you would read back on the shelves. 
6. This next step is the hard one place as many of the books from pile two, books you like, on the shelves. If you are lucky they all fit on the shelves, if you are not so lucky you have to decide which books stay and which books go.
7. Now do this do all of your book shelves.

If you are not OCD and don't feel the need to have books in a perfect order then you are done with your organizing you can now go clean out a closet. If you are like me, and I think at this point we have established you are, please read further.

Dick:  I guess it looks as if you're reorganizing your records. What is this though? Chronological?

Rob: No...

Dick: Not alphabetical...

Rob: Nope...

Dick: What?

Rob: Autobiographical.

Dick: No fucking way

-High Fiedelty

Like your records there are many ways to organize your books and I have done many of them. The most common is alphabetical by author or title, this one is very handy when trying to find a book. There is the artistic way of grouping similar book jackets together, all the yellow ones together. This is the most frustrating way because I can never find my books.

My favorite way is by genre. This is where you get to decide how you would group your books...I don't always agree with book stores.

1. Go through your bookshelves and purge your books (see above steps)
2. Now go through all your bookshelves and get all the books from any genre. (we will start with mysteries).
3. Decide which book shelf you want the mysteries on and take all the other non-mysteries off that book shelf. 
4. Now fill your bookshelf with your mysteries.
5. Do this with all your books, you may have several genres on one books shelf depending on how many books you have it that genre. 

If you are really obsessive with your books like me, and we know you are, this is where it gets crazy. You have to decide how do you want to sort your genre. I personal like putting my favorite authors at eye level and I fit the others around that, here is how.

1. Look at your genre and decide who in that category is your favorite.
2. Stare at your book shelf and decide where your eye goes to first. 
3. Put your favorite author in that spot. 
4. Organize the other books on the other shelf.

If you take it to the level I take it to there are a few more steps you need to finish. You purged, sorted and decided on your favorite author but in what order to you place the books on the shelf. That is simple, chronologically from date of publication.

Of course you are bound to run into the problem where the series was published out of order and are torn. Do you place them in the order they should have been written or the order they were published.

I suggest the order the series should have been written unless its the Phillipa Gregory books and then you have to put The Cousin War books before The Tudor Court books even though the were written in the other order. Having those books in any other order but historical chronologically is a crime.

How do you organize your books?

Single Girl in a Committed Relationship

Today I had a conversation with some friends about marriage and commitment. And I may have made a comment on not wanting to get married.

I don't know why I said it except at the time I really meant it and still mean it. I really go back and forth on if I want to get married. Is that normal?

Its entirely possible I have a little bit of a commitment problem and why I like the idea of dressing up in a pretty dress, playing princess for a day and getting presents..the actual idea of marriage scares me more than a little. I may have nightmares about it occasionally.

Don't get me wrong I love The BF and I absolutely plan on spending the rest of my life with him, I am just not sure about marrying him despite my talking about what music I will play at our wedding all the time. I started doing it to freak out The BF and the it just became a fun little game to me.

My adverse reaction has nothing to do with The BF this is all me being crazy and feeling like I need to control the entire world or at least my world...no I want to control the world. Anyway I have this crazy notion that marriage would...I am really not sure but I would have less control whatever it is.

The logical part of my brain tells me that it wouldn't really change a lot in my life, in fact it probably wouldn't change anything at all. The crazy part of my brain is unfortunately much louder than the logical part. When it comes to certain topics, like marriage and shoes, I often can't hear the logical part.

I have no idea what all this says about me...maybe I should go back to therapy.

Why Do I Now Have Writers Block...Again?

Last month I participated in the Ultimate Blog Challenge and didn't miss a single post, thinking I sailed through that easy peasy nice and easy I am signing up for NaBloPoMo, the blogger version of NaNoWriMo.

I was all excited and now I cant write. I have nothing at all. I really hate when this happens. I have all these half ideas bouncing around in my head and I can't put my finger on any of them to do anything with it. I feel like my head is a bouncy house.

I often wonder what this feeling is like for other people. That feeling when things are just beyond your reach in your own mind. I find it exasperating and exciting at the same time.

Exasperating because...well that is obvious I can't express myself. I stumble over my words, not just the written word by the spoken word. When this happens I get very tongue tied. I start stumbling over everything I say. Which get annoying fast. I think it has something to do with the frantic pace my life will all the sudden take.


My mind won't be calm and then I start talking faster and faster (which is pretty amazing since I am a really fast talker to begin with). In a desperate need to express myself one way or another I start talking really fast hoping that something will come tumbling out that will be brilliant. It never works. I just end up rambling on about nothing important. Even at work I can not explain simple things.

The only thing that helps is taking a deep breath and focusing. I block out all the random bizarre things bouncing around in my head and focus. It never lasts for long but luckily its long enough to complete the things I need to do at work but not much else.

Usually this block will last a few days and then I am back to normal...or at least what I call normal.

My Eyes are Bigger than My Ambition

I have no idea what is wrong with me...I have serious issues. When I decide to do something I decide to go big. Crazy big. Out of this world big. Unnecessarily big....seriously who needs 47 cups of pumpkin puree?

I am clearly out of my mind.

It all started innocently enough. I wanted to make pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving, so I decided to make my own pumpkin puree. I figured one good sized pumpkin should be enough. I went out looking for discount pumpkins two days after Halloween. And boy did I luck out, I found pumpkins for free. So instead of getting one good sized pumpkins I got SIX. See I always go overboard.

So know I have 6 monster pumpkins and I decide to go ahead and make puree. I really didn't understand what I was getting myself into but heck I read a few blog posts on the subject and it didn't seem hard.

And it wasn't hard just very time consuming and messy. it is possible I made it messier than it really is but that is how I roll. And if I had stuck with my original plan, the 1 pumpkin, it probably wouldn't have been as time consuming.

Why do I feel this need to go big or go home. I am not even a big fan of pumpkin. I like pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin muffins and pumpkin lattes...its possible I do like pumpkin and I just don't know it. I don't like pumpkin pie which begs the question why am I making it for Thanksgiving?

I am asking a lot of questions but the answer to that one is easy my grandma told me to make them for Thanksgiving...not his year but many years ago and I have done it almost every year since.  When I don't do it my cousin does...then she started having babies in November and hasn't made them since. I think she kept giving birth to get out of making pies for Thanksgiving but that is an issue she and I will have to work out one day. 

So now because of a whim I have more pumpkin puree than I know what to do with and I am in desperate need for recipes. Please share your favorite recipe!!!

8 Fridays Left

Did you know that their are only 8 Fridays left until Christmas....Seriously 8 freaking Fridays.

I am having a panic attack.

Usually by this time I have most of my gifts bought, if I don't have them bought I at least always have a plan and a list. Yes I am that person don't judge!!!

Its just that I like to enjoy the holidays and I find it hard to do if I am worrying about my shopping list.

This year I don't even have a list...I have no plan...its going to be a free for all.

Maybe I will just buy myself gifts and forget everyone else.

I am seriously panicking over this....I need to take a deep breath.

I need a list. We follow the 4 gifts rule.

Something they need.
Something they want.
Something they wear.
Something to read.

The kids are easy but The BF is impossible to shop for, I never know what to get him. I wonder if he needs a new hat!!!!

I'm feeling calmer but I need to go make a list. And start planning an office party.

Are you a Holiday gift planner or last minute shopper?

I Have No Regrets...Do You?

Recently I started thinking about regrets, I know its not a happy go lucky topic but even I get get serious and deep from time to time. During this time of wondering "I asked do I have any regrets? What decisions did I make that I regret? Would I go back and change anything if the opportunity presented its self?

Not to brag but I couldn't really come up with anything I regret. I had a hard time come up with anything. I know I have said things I regret, I have a tendency to speak my mind (much more in my younger days). But I  try and apologize for the less than kind words I say, so I really don't regret saying them because I own up to my mistake and try to grow from my bad choice.

But decisions and actions...I don't regret. I know you are thinking what kind of sociopath looney tune are you? And that is a valid question, let me try and explain my lack of regret.

Its not that I haven't made bad choices and decision, at times I have made colossal mistakes. Mistakes that have often defined my life and changes the course I was walking. But I don't regret them because they have all led me to this exact moment were I am contemplating if I have regrets.

And in this moment I am happy and content with my life. I know I know could I get anymore cheesy, I hope not. Being this sappy is bad for my image. I am a fun, strange, loud mouthed, slightly (sometimes more than slightly) wacky girl and such a statement from me seems out of place. I will admit being this sentimental is not normal for me but I don't think of it as being sentimental I think its more pragmatic (there is a nickel word for you).

Does this change you opinion of me?

I hope it doesn't, I am the same girl I have always been. I am just not hanging on to the past in an unhealthy way, wait does that make me emotionally/mentally healthy.  Hold on I need to go tell everyone I know that I am healthier than they are...nah nah nah. On second thought, this is freaking me out a little, its possible I don't need as much therapy as I previously thought.

LOL...like I am going to go to therapy, I would just go buy a book about therapy and call it good.

 Not having regrets follows my philosophy that this is the best time of my life. I remember people telling me enjoy high school/college/being single its the best time of your life. That never made sense to me, how could that be the best moment there is so much more to see and experience. I have believed for many years now that the moment I am currently in is the best moment of my life. All the other moments build on each other to get me here and despite the heart brakes, the drama and any sadness, I am letting go of regret and guilt and moving forward.

Okay if I have to have one regret in my life it that I some how let my Health Nut Sister and Mom know that cleaning up vomit doesn't gross me. Its a weird regret I know but I am a weird girl in case you haven't figured that out yet.

This knowledge led to a very funny incident a few years back. My Health Nut Sister hurt her back and Mom was there helping to take care of her and her two daughters. At some point in the night I started to receive phone calls which I didn't answer/ignored. The Next morning after listening to several where are you voice mails. I arrive at my Health Nut Sister's house. I noticed a pile of bedding on the floor, my 4 year old niece was in the tub splashing and playing. When I asked what happened they told me between gagging that said 4 year old got sick in the night and throw up in a glass which my Health Nut Sister almost ended up drinking (remember the hurt back) This caused the Health Nut Sister to bet sick and then my Mom to be sick.

Even the retelling of this story caused the two of them to start gagging. Which I found hilarious because I am a cruel evil person at times. I did kindly clean up my niece, who was feeling much better, and wash all the linens I even cleaned up the vomit on the floor. I am not sure I regret them knowing this, I get to mock them about this and that is always fun for me.

Now that I have rambled on aimlessly making little sense my question is....Do you have regrets?

Let's Dance

Do you know that saying/song/inspirational quote, "Dance Like No One is Watching"?

I hate that saying/song/inspirational quote.

It really bugs me....I don't know about you but I dance the same regardless if people are watching or not and I dance any where the mood strikes.

Not really any where. I don't dance in meetings (that is not true either I just danced last Wednesday during our office meeting) or when I am sitting in the court room but I do occasionally dance at the office. Not to long ago while grocery shopping with my mom, a song came on and I started doing a little dance. My mom started laughing and said, "I forgot how much fun you are to take grocery shopping."

I try and get my nieces and "pseudo" step-daughter to dance with me in public...I have found that once they reach a certain age they don't want to do it but when they are young they will be silly with me. A few nights ago while I was with my 5 year old niece she and I danced in the rain, we didn't even need music.

I find dancing relaxing and it helps when stress level are high. Not to mention when there is a lot of tension in a room a little shake rattle and roll helps everyone to laugh. I find that when you are with family tension and stress levels can some times be high.

Strangely enough I don't dance when I am by myself...its always when I am with people and often I am being silly. I am less stressed when I am by myself and so I don't feel the need to have that tension release. Its entirely possible that I would have made a great hermit.

Since being a hermit is not in the cards for me. I want to be one of those older ladies on youtube that some videoed dancing while waiting for the bus, in line at the grocery store and especially at family gatherings.

My wish for you is to forget about if someone is watching or not and just dance.

The inspiration for this post came from Story Dam. Please check out this wonderful site for writers by writers. 

Am I Really a Modern Girl?

Recently I over heard a coworker ordering flowers for her boyfriend. My initial response was, "Why is she doing that? He should send her flowers."

WHAT????

Yes, I thought those words.

I couldn't decide why I thought it was strange. I am not a person big on getting flowers. I would rather you buy me a book but why would I think she shouldn't send flowers. She likes getting flowers so it makes sense she would send them.

I really am wondering if I am as 'open minded' as I think I am. Maybe I am really an old fashioned type of girl. Which is a perfectly wonderful way to be if that is what you want. But even if you are old fashioned you can still send your partner flowers. Right?

The whole thing has me questioning if I am really the modern thinker I have always thought? My mom and sisters and most people who know me would say YES. But it is clear that some where deep down I belief in traditional gender roles.

I am not saying if it is good or bad, Its just a little shocking to realize that about myself. And to admit that I secretly would like The BF to bring me home a bouquet of flowers but not roses...I don't like roses. I am not that traditional.

I am rambling...as usual. My mind is wondering all over this topic.

I will end with asking when was the last time you sent flowers to your partner and when was the last time you received flowers?

A Random Post From a Random Girl

I have this post in my head but I cant get it out.

Its funny and witty in my head but on my screen it reads weird and awkward.

I don't mind being the weird girl. And I am often awkward. 

But this post is translating into a maybe she needs to go rest in a room with padded walls weird.

Thinking about resting in a room with padded walls has some appeal to me after all I often walk into walls. It seems I wouldn't get hurt as bad if the walls were padded. I wonder if I can pad the walls of my home, and all the counters, tables, chairs, floor....I am really clumsy.

Why are some people more clumsy than others? I don't see my coworkers walking into the walls of the office but I do it all the time. 

Its frustrating to always have new bruise that you can not explain. Its even more frustrating to not be able to express myself like I want.

I bet its just because I cant focus my mind...I have so many things going on in my head it cant fully focus on what I need. I am starting to wonder if my funny and witty post is really that cleaver or if I just think it is because I am so random today.

What are some of the random thoughts you are having today?

Do Blondes Have More Fun?

Recently the "pseudo" step-daughter drew a picture of me.

At the time that she handed it to me I was right in the middle of cooking dinner, so I briefly glanced at it told her I loved it and thank you. But the picture got put away and forgotten about until I was cleaning off some junk that had collected and I found the picture.

Its me*

Despite some obvious concerns...do my ears really stick out like that? And not ever owning a dress like the one I am wearing in the picture (I have been informed by the "pseudo" step-daughter its a "princess" dress so I may need to get one).

My biggest concern is that she drew me with brown hair and orange skin!!!

I know you are thinking REALLY thats what you are freaking out about. And yes REALLY!!

In the big scheme of life its not a big deal but orange skin is very concerning don't you think?

But most shocking to me was the brunette hair she drew on my head. Then I realized that my hair has been slowly getting darker and darker. I am not sure why I made this change, I had been a blonde for years but one day I decided to change.

I am would like to say that the change in color is related to a more mature attitude (not wanting to change my appearance, closer to my natural color, blah blah blah) but honestly I think it is because one day I got bored.

Please don't think of this as a commentary on blondes or society...as usually this is all about me.

*Did you notice the great big ring she drew on my finger? I did and I made sure to point it out to The BF...hint hint from your daughter.

The Girl with the Plan

The other day I did something out of character...okay maybe not so out of character but it was not part of my daily routine or something that I have ever done before and I have done some weird things.

On Friday as I was driving to work my favorite morning show had a local psychic. This is a regular segment and listeners get to call in and ask a question for the psychic to answer. I love this segment. I love to listen to the crazy weird questions people ask. I especially like the way the radio DJs make fun of the people and their dysfunctional behavior.

But this day for the first time ever I decided to call in and ask the psychic a question. 

I am not going to tell you what the question or answer was... that's a topic for a different day. 

But the point is that I have been stressing out about a situation so much that instead of doing what I normally do I decided to call a psychic and talk to her about my problem...on the radio!!!!

And the answer she gave filled me with a sense of calm and zen. 

I think the not knowing was making me crazy. I hate not knowing what will happen next. I am not sure why I am that way but the unknown makes me nervous and anxious. I am pretty sure I have been like that all my life. And although I adapt (fairly quickly) to change my first reaction is panic and outrage!!

I do enjoy adventure as long as it it a well planned and well thought out adventure. It may not sound like much of an adventure to you but that's how I like it.

I am girl with a plan...usually several plans. I have plans for my plans. I plan everything!!! I may not follow my own plans and the plan my change but I always have a plan.

So back to me calling a psychic and now having a sense of purpose about my life once again.

I really have no answers to why it made me feel better but it did. 

No....You Can Not Borrow The BF!!!!

Recently, two days ago, I posted on Facebook about The ExWife/Friend wanting to borrow The BF. She was hoping to get help with some chores this weekend. I received a lot comments on this status...it appears that a number of my friends and family have strong feelings about exs helping exs.

The chores were simple ones: 1. She wondered if he would help load some stuff in his truck and take it to the local second hand store and 2. If we would sand and refinishing her jewelry box (he recently did that to a coffee table in our house and she thought it looked really good).

The first one is something that happens often when you have a truck, people ask you to help them move and haul stuff. This is not a big deal The BF has offered to help friends and doesn't mind helping when he can. The second thing recognizes his skill as a handyman.

Although I was being funny and silly when I posted it (I never take Facebook to seriously). The ExWife/Friend claims I vilified her on my status by leaving out the important detail that she was planning to pay him for his gas and time. And she may be right, I was having very strong feeling about him helping.

I had to to a little soul searching.

My conclusion is that I am a mean selfish bitch and sometimes a horrible horrible friend.

Yup because while I may have said I was being funny and silly; I was also mark my territory and thinking you didn't want him he is mine...the only chores/projects he is going to do are the ones I want you have no claim to his time.

This was not a casual thought I had that lasted for a few seconds...It occupied my mind for days.

And made me feel bad. She is my friend, if another friend asked him to help I would nag encourage him to help especially if it was show casing his handy dandy skills. So why did her request annoy me?

Because I seem to have some underlying insecurities when it comes to our bizarre relationship.

I never claimed it worked all the time....just 99.9% of the time.

Is it Your Lucky Day????

Today is my lucky day...yup that's right Friday the 13th is my lucky day.

Seriously, how could I not love this day?

1. Its Friday and that's the end of my work week so that completely rocks.
2. 13 is my lucky number.
3. Its a day full of superstition and mystery.
4. What better day to stay home and watch horror movies then the day that has a whole franchise of horror movies named after it.

I am not the only in my family that likes the number 13...my dad and youngest brother also like the number. Although I am not sure we like it for the same reason.

My home town*

My dad and brother like it because its the exit to the small town where they live, its a town pride thing. My brother was born and raised there. In fact the only sibling I have that wasn't born there is my baby sister (yes that includes me). My mom was born there, my grandparents, I think even some great-grandparents were born there or at least in the general area. I have had family in the valley since it was a bunch of pioneers in covered wagons settling there. 

But that's not why I like 13. I like it because its a kick ass number. Its a prime number and I find them to be so soothing. 13 is such a strong and soft number at the same time. First you have the number 1, it is such a strong stand alone number. Its straight and commanding. Then you have the number 3 all soft and curvy and unassuming. When you have them together side by side they are a powerhouse

Its entirely possible I have put way to much thought into the number 13. I put a lot of thought into things that do not matter at all. Like the letter M which I love but the letter W annoys me.

Some days I make it easy for the future team of people who will be taking me off to that padded room.

*Thanks to my dad who after I called and told him I needed this picture for my blog...went out of his way and took the picture.

What's My Name?

This morning driving to work I had a very cute post idea in my head. It was one of those ideas that made me laugh out loud and I thought its Tuesday who doesn't need a good laugh?

But then I got to work and the internet was down and after spending 45 minutes on the phone with our provider...its still not working. Luckily this is only affecting the nonwireless computers and not the laptop. Unfortunately spending all that time trying to fix it (only to discover we need to buy a new piece of equipment) has caused me to forget my cute and funny post idea.

I am hoping it comes back to my tomorrow as I am driving to work.

Now I am a little concerned about the possibility of having a baby. According to a number of friends, that are mothers, your brain turns to "mush" after having a baby. My brain is turning to mush without having one so now I am worried that I will end up with a zombie brain if I am ever do have a baby.

I know I am being irrational and that as I sat on hold with technical support and several stores trying to fix our internet problem my mind had wondered into the crazy zone.

You know that crazy place in your mind. Its that voice you try and ignore or at least muffle that tells you there are monsters under the bed and that noise you heard while in the shower is a crazed psycho killer instead of the cat jumping off the counter.

Occasionally it will convince you of a good idea, like always keeping at least a 1/2 tank of gas in your car. The reason you do this may be nuts (duh Zombie Apocalypse) but mechanically speaking its good for your car. So you ignore the reason and tell your self you are doing it for the car and not because you are delusional.

But deep down you know its because you are crazy.

Problems in the Bedroom?

The BF and I are having some bedroom problems. We have had problems for awhile but it became a big deal on our recent vacation.

Oh wait not those types of bedroom problems...we are fine in that area. This is a much more intimate problem.

You see The BF is a cuddlier in his sleep and I am more of a don't touch me or I am going to freak out. In fact don't even accidentally be on my side of the bed or I am going to have a nervous brake down. (I may have several issues).

I am not sure at what point this became an issue for me. But I really don't want anyone near me when I sleep not even the cat.

At home we work around this issues by having a really big bed so I can have my space without sleeping in a separate room but on our vacation we had a little queen size bed and The BF accidentally touched me several times...I would instantly wake up and demand that he not touch me anymore. Usually in a not very nice way.

Okay it was a very mean way. Really really mean...that bordered on my head spinning around and demons possessing my soul. I don't like to be woken up especially if it is because someone touches me. (Sometimes I wonder why he doesn't run screaming into the night I am so crazy).

I want to be all cuddly like couples in moves and TV and I am until its time to go to sleep. I may have been single to long.

Snap Crackle...I Needed a Break

I cant believe its been a week since I have posted anything on my blog!!!!

Okay I really can believe it...I had a mental/emotional break from reality last week and needed to regroup.

Its possible I am exaggerating but last week I was depressed.

You would think I would be okay. I got my cast off after only 4 weeks. I was back to normal (relatively speaking) only I wasn't really back to my self.

My hand was all stiff and repetitive motions like typing was very painful and for some reason I cried during commercials!!!! COMMERCIALS!!!! Not even very touching or sad commercials just random commercials. I don't cry during commercials I make fun of people who cry during commercials.  Maybe it was karma for making fun of people, Maybe it was stress and needing a brake. Maybe it was a bout of depression...who knows.

It was probably all three.

Any way I am feeling much better....I am only going to do a few post this weeks. I will be posting the last few guest post I received then I am back to my normal posting.

Thanks again everyone who helped me out.