365 days Until Wedded Bliss

In one year I will be getting married.

That seems like it is forever away and not enough time to plan all at once. To say I am nervous and excited at the same time is an understatement.

Is it strange to be having all these feelings about something so far in the future?  Just yesterday I was fine, I have planned a fun little date for The Fiance and myself but was feeling fairly low key about everything. Then this morning I woke up with a feeling of doom and anticipation.

Its not about planning the event...this is not the first wedding I have planned. Just early this year I planned The Ex-Wife/Friends wedding (I should write about that...talk about a good story) It is different planning your own wedding but I have all the details planned out so for the moment I am very relaxed about it.

I get all excited about taking that next step with The Fiance and planning our future together. I imagine the ups the downs and I can't wait.

Then I have that moment of panic. After all I will be 39 when I get married....39! In my 20s I never imagined I would be getting married at 39. I figured I would be married for 6 or 7 years with a few kids by the time 39 rolled around. And in my early 30s I thought settling down in my 40s seemed like a grand idea, anything before 40 seemed to young. there was just so much to do before I got married.

And here I am planning a big fat Greek Welsh Scottish Rock n Roll wedding at 39. Isn't life weird that way? Neither plan worked out exactly like I planned. Although I do have 2 "soon to be" bonus kids and I will just be shy of my 40th birthday. So maybe both my "life plans" worked out just right.

Where Oh Where is my Sapphire?

Today I was planning on having a productive day. Seriously I was. No really I had plans I was going to accomplish a lot of things.

Number one on my list clean off my desk at work. It was a mess and crowded...and I rally couldn't get anything done. Step 1. take everything off my desk. Step 2. wipe it down. Step 3 decide what is going back and what is not. Step 4 decide what I was doing with all the stuff that wasn't going back on my desk.

It was all going so good, I got all the way through step 2 when I started having a conversation with a coworker. I happened to glance down at my engagement ring and noticed I could see my finger beneath it....it took me a second to release my sapphire was missing from my ring.

Let the panic ensue. To say I was upset is an understatement. I was trying hard not to panic as I calmly tried to retrace my steps. And since I had been cleaning off my desk that meant that it could have been anywhere in my office.

Soon all my coworkers and I were crawling around the office, looking in garbage cans, and carefully dumping out the contents in my purse trying to find the thing. Realizing that it could be anywhere I call The Fiance and tell him to start looking for it at home.

After reassembling my purse I decide to check outside and in my car. As I carefully backtrack my steps to my car and find nothing my despair and panic is getting worse. I am almost in tears by the time I open my car door and start looking around on the floor. I glanced at the seat of my car and again almost start crying again because sitting there as if it was enjoying a drive was my sapphire.

I immediately snatch it up as if I am saving the world from certain doom and run back into the office. I carefully wrap it and the ring in saran wrap and place it in a baggie then safely tuck it into my now very clean purse.

I am now left wondering why all the panic. Yes it would have been sad but I would still be engagement. The Fiance would still love me, we would still get married and live "happily" ever after. I just kept thinking it's a symbol of The Fiance's love...I won't have that symbol. Its a silly thought, I knew he loved me before I got the ring.

Thankfully it all ended well but my finger feels very very naked.

Organizing My Closet - Part 1 or Is 49 Scarves to Many?

Every year I have a desire to get something in my life organized and some what manageable...this year its my closet. It is a mess on a massive scale. If you judged me just by my closet you would wonder when my episode of Hoarders was airing.

I can never find anything, everything is crammed in there and I couldn't figure out how to make it functional. Part of the problem may be the abundance of clothes, shoes and accessories currently in my clothes but isn't that the point of a closet to store your clothes, shoes and accessories.

To make matter more difficult I have to share the closet with The Fiancee and its poorly laid out. (I am sure it was designed by some man that thought he will angle it to make it look nicer but really there is just wasted space). 

After staring at the problem for 3 days I took action. (I would like to note that I am only organizing my side of the closet, The Fiancee can fix his side. I'll help but he needs to do the work, its his stuff).

I decide the first thing I need to tackle were all my scarves. I have a lot of scarves. I love them. next to books they may be my biggest weakness. If I see a scarf I buy a scarf. All my friends and family know I like scarves so they buy them for me, often. Even The Fiancee (I wonder how many times I can insert The Fiancee into a single post, I just really like saying it) has bought me a scarf or two (3) since we have been together.

First, I rounded up all the scarves I currently owned. Most of them were hanging on hangers in the closet but a few were in a pile on the floor of the closet, some were in a pile on my blanket chest and there were still more in my car. 

Then I folded them nicely and laid them out on the bed. I then tried to figure out how am I going to organizing all these scarves. It was daunting and overwhelming and just when I was about to throw them all back in the closet I had a moment of brilliance...seriously it was brilliant.

I decide in my moment of brilliance to use an over the door shoe rack to store my scarves. See brilliant. I may not be the first person to do this but I don't know anyone else doing it and it worked amazingly.

This is just a standard 24 pocket shoe racket. I wasn't sure, at first, it would be big enough because despite getting rid of a few scarves I had 49 of them and I wanted to be able to see them and quickly decide which one to wear. 

I discovered that the pockets are big enough for 2 standard scarves to fit nicely. I had already folded them so I just paired them with a buddy and start putting the lesser wore ones at the top and bottom. Popular ones at eye level. The bulkier scarves took up one space and all the little ones that you tie on your purse or in your hair are all in one pocket. The Fiancee (5 times) is impressed and I can even add a scarf or two without having to get rid of any. 

Now I completed step 1 of my closet overhaul...Check back next week for Organizing My Closet - Part 2 or When Did I Buy That?

He Put A Ring On It - My Engagement Story

If you follow me on Facebook than you know that The BF completely surprised me by proposing over the weekend and I said yes (like I was going to say anything else). Since I share all my other stories with you: how we met, our weird conversations, our "disagreements', the time line of our courtship...I guess I should share our engagement story also.

When I say completely surprise me, I am not kidding. I had no idea it was coming...that doesn't mean I haven't dropped hints or told him this is how you should do it and this is the ring I want. You know the normal stuff but I didn't think it would be this weekend or this year or even this decade.

Its not easy to surprise me, mostly because I am a great big control freak and I plan out a lot of our lives. I even tell him what to get me as gifts for my birthday and Christmas. He has learned to stick to the list. Its never good to deviate from the list or what I have planned.

To be honest I hate surprises...I hate them so much I once planned my own surprise party. I am not kidding. So you can see what a feat it is to catch me unaware but that is exactly what The BF did yesterday morning.

The day started innocent enough...we had a lot of things happening. The BF had to work early, then a family party at my mom's and then later a family party at The BF's family. Lots to do and we were on a schedule (did I mention I like planning everything).

After The BF returned from work he jumped in the shower and I was putting my makeup on while sitting on our bed watching a rerun of The Pioneer Women's cooking show on Food Network (I love her show, blog and books). Just as The Pioneer Women starts sharing her wisdom on keeping the romance alive in your relationship, The BF walks over to me partially dressed and starts kissing me and telling me that he loves me.

I thought he was being silly after all romance was the topic on TV. I kissed him back asserted my return affection but told him we need to get moving. When out of the blue he drops down on one knee next to the bed.

Then he opens his hand, he was holding a ring, places his hand on the bed and asks me to marry him.

I was stunned, shocked and in disbelieve.  I asked are serious and he smiled and said yes. I asked like really serious, change your Facebook status tell everyone serious. He said yes...and so I said yes. Like I said I was shocked and completely caught off guard. Luckily I had just painted my nails....even if I had painted them black.


He says he has been thinking about how to ask me for month and just decided to do it....he does keep me on my toes.

And that is how I got engaged while watching The Pioneer Women, with no makeup on and The BF was not fully dressed...I guess I need to start calling him The Fiancee from this day forward...until The day I get to call him The Husband anyway.

Now I need to answer the question, do I want to be a Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter bride?

Its a Freaking Tradition and You Will Enjoy It

Does your family have holiday traditions?

As an unofficial blended family, we are trying to find our traditions. Its not always easy to establish figure out the traditions when the kids spend every other holiday with the other parent. Plus you have to combine the traditions of two different families.

This is not always easy.   

I think it's important to not focus on the time you don't have the kids but the time you do have them, for example: this year the "pseudo" step-kids will be at their moms for Christmas this year. Which means we don't have them for Christmas Eve. So this year we will open our Christmas eve gift (pajamas, hot chocolate, popcorn and a new Christmas movie to watch) we will open them the Saturday before Christmas. On Christmas Day we like to have a big fancy breakfast, so the Ex-Wife/Friend will bring the "pseudo" step-kids over early so we can eat and open gifts.

Just in case you think this is all one way...at the first of December the Ex-Wife/Friend's mom (who lives out of town) comes and visits for 2 weeks. During that time The BF is flexible with parent time, allowing the kids to spend lots of time with their grandma. When its "our Christmas" we let the gets go to the Christmas Eve service with Ex-Wife/Friend and instead of them spending time with her early in the day (like we do) on Christmas she takes them in the afternoon for a big family party at her dad's.

(Just in case you think this is only about time with the "pseudo' step-kids, we enjoy our time without them...we like to go to the movies on Christmas Day without them).

Our goal is to create a happy day without stress. I think it's about being flexible and respecting each others traditions. After all its not about you and your ego its about the kids, compromise is key. I know it's not always possible for this to happen. It takes every person putting their ego aside and figuring out, I know I also lucked out by being friends with the Ex-Wife/Friend first then hooking up with The BF.

I love when I start sounding like I know what I am talking about.

Stockings and Garters and Corsets...Oh My

Mom this is one of those posts you will want to stop reading right now.

Dad you should probably stop reading also.

Ex-Wife/Friend STOP READING!!!!!!

Earlier tonight a friend "checked-in" to a Lingerie & Novelty Boutique on Facebook, after some fun teasing I started wondering do men really like lingerie? Is this something they want?

I do not wear lingerie. I have always been of the believe that is nice but why spend all that money on something you wont be wearing very long and will just end up balled up on the floor. You are going to end up naked why not start that way, save your money for more books.

But then I asked The BF what he thought and he said lingerie is sometimes nice. What!!! I had no idea. Now I feel like I am boring and frumpy.

Do I run out and buy something lacy and silky as a special treat? Does he like white and innocent? Black and naughty? Red and sultry? What about stocking and garters? See through nighties? Corsets? Cute and frilly? And lets not forget leather...leather sounds nice.

The options are endless and slightly overwhelming.

But then luckily I remembered one very important thing, The BF may like a lingerie but he really likes naked.

No need to panic, I have decided to give him my most guarded secret...my sizes and  measurements. If he would like to see me in lingerie he can buy it and I will wear it. Until then I will do what I have always done...you can not go wrong with naked.

I think I over shared, again.

Single Girl in a Committed Relationship

Today I had a conversation with some friends about marriage and commitment. And I may have made a comment on not wanting to get married.

I don't know why I said it except at the time I really meant it and still mean it. I really go back and forth on if I want to get married. Is that normal?

Its entirely possible I have a little bit of a commitment problem and why I like the idea of dressing up in a pretty dress, playing princess for a day and getting presents..the actual idea of marriage scares me more than a little. I may have nightmares about it occasionally.

Don't get me wrong I love The BF and I absolutely plan on spending the rest of my life with him, I am just not sure about marrying him despite my talking about what music I will play at our wedding all the time. I started doing it to freak out The BF and the it just became a fun little game to me.

My adverse reaction has nothing to do with The BF this is all me being crazy and feeling like I need to control the entire world or at least my world...no I want to control the world. Anyway I have this crazy notion that marriage would...I am really not sure but I would have less control whatever it is.

The logical part of my brain tells me that it wouldn't really change a lot in my life, in fact it probably wouldn't change anything at all. The crazy part of my brain is unfortunately much louder than the logical part. When it comes to certain topics, like marriage and shoes, I often can't hear the logical part.

I have no idea what all this says about me...maybe I should go back to therapy.

To Trick or To Treat

The Ex-Wife/Friend and The BF are mad at the "pseudo" step-son. It's become quite hostile in our home and all because he decided not to go trick or treating this year and they will have 1 less lid to steal candy from.

I have learned since becoming a "pseudo" step-mom that one of the benefits of having kids is stealing their candy but they are being a little ridiculous.

I tried to explain that you can just go buy Halloween candy on November 1st for a fraction of the cost and you don't have to share it with the kids. But I guess they feel that if they have to take one kid trick or treating they should take both kids and get the maximum amount of candy.

The keep pestering him to go trick or treating...its a little comical how desperate they are about it. Any second now their will be an ultimatum, "go beg the neighbors for candy or else." They told him that if he doesn't go then no candy. I assured him he can have candy and to remember who is really in charge in our weird little family.

I feel like he is about to give in to their demands, I am supporting him 100% and I don't have an ulterior motive....okay maybe I do. This year I am making him hand out candy to the kids while I am playing on the internet. This new development is really working in my favor, so much so I am going to go buy him a bag of marked down candy tomorrow that he doesn't have to share.. I wouldn't want him to change his mind about trick or treating next year.

Practically Perfect in Everyway

Have you ever thought about your bad habits? Neither have I. Of course I don't have any bad habits.

Really I don't have any....that is just how I roll.

Of course The BF may not agree with me on that but he doesn't understand yet that I am perfect and perfect people don't have bad habits. He thinks I am amazing and wonderful but I haven't been able to convince him I am perfect...and I have no idea why.

Just because from the moment I get home I leave a trial of items behind me doesn't mean I am not perfect. It just means I am done with that item not that I am a messy.

Having stacks and stacks of books laying all over the house doesn't mean I an not perfect. Those piles are very specific not that I am a hoarder.

And just because I leave my clean clothes in the laundry basket until I wear them again just means I am saving my energy for something else.

These are all habits of highly perfect people I can't help it he doesn't understand the brilliance of my perfection.

Okay I am not being serious but its important to remember when your partner is doing that one thing that makes you want to slam you head into a wall that you have just as many personality quarks that make them want to run screaming into the night.

I am telling you this to remind myself  no one is perfect...although I am pretty sure I am really close to it. *wink wink*

Short Courtship? I Don't Think So

The other day a friend made the comment that whirl wind relationships like mine don't always turn out as well as mine. I gave her a blank stare and asked on what planet was my relationship a "whirl wind". She elaborated by saying it all happened so fast.

And I guess compared to the life span of an oak tree it happened fast but in reality it was a slow courtship that happened over months...I just kept part of it to myself. After all I was talking and flirting with my friends ex-husband it was a weird situation at first.

Here is how it all happened.

1. September 2, 2009: The BF texted me for the first time after getting my number from Ex-Wife/Friend.
2. September 2009: - December 2009: Lots of texts and flirting. No phone conversations.
3. January 2, 2010: - First phone conversation.
4. January 8, 2010:  Went on first date. Ended up at bookstore, this may be why there was a second date.
5. January 17, 2010: Second date watching Football playoffs.
6. January - March 2010: Starting hanging out every other weekend.
7. March 2010: Meet the "pseudo" step-kids and families.
8. May 2010: Spending every weekend together.
9. June 2011: Moved in together.
10. June 2011 - present: Living in dysfunctional family bliss.

No matter what you think about living together I know people who have dated, been engaged and married in less time then we decided to live together. It was 21 months before we moved in together. It wasn't really all that fast. At least not fast in Utah...the rest of the world may have longer courtships.

My friend later amended her statement by saying it all seemed to happen fast.

I think it was the perfect length for us.

Did you have a long or short courtship?

Breakfast on the Go

I am not a morning person. I am the type to hit snooze three or four times before dragging my butt out of bed, which means I am always in a hurry to get out the door. The BF gets up when his alarm goes off the first time, gets ready and goes...of course its 4 in the morning when he gets up. So breakfast in our house is usually a grab and go affair.

So I am always trying to find a new prepare in advance breakfast for the two of us that isn't full of sugar and is moderately good for us.

With that in mind I was searching through my recipes and came across a hand written recipe that I have no idea where it came from but its in my hand writing so I decided to do a little baking and try the recipe...after all I had all the ingredients in my pantry.

Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Muffins  

• 2 1/2 cups flour
• 1 1/2 cups old fashioned oats
• 2 tablespoon baking powder
• 2 tablespoon ground flax seed 
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoon cinnamon, clove and nutmeg*
• 2/3 cup creamy peanut butter
• 4 medium overripe bananas
• 2 large eggs
• 1 1/3 cups brown sugar
• 2 1/2 cups skim milk

Directions:

1. In a large bowl mix flour, oats, baking powder, flax seed, salt, and cinnamon, clove and nutmeg*
2. Add the mixed dry ingredients to the bowl of wet ingredients and stir. In a separate bowl, smash bananas and mix in peanut butter and eggs. Then add brown sugar and milk. Stir until well blended.
3. Fill greased or lined muffin pan with batter, these are not cupcakes you can fill them to the top.
4. Bake 18 minutes at 375 degrees
5. Let muffins cool completely. Place 2 in a freezer bag and freeze. Take out a bag the night before and you have breakfast for two.

Makes 24 Muffins

*This is a little less precises then most baking but I just took a teaspoon and dumped some cinnamon, clove and nutmeg until the teaspoon was filled. Then I repeated the process with the second teaspoon. A little odd I know but this way you can add more of the flavor you like and you get to feel all rebellious while baking.

Moving to Alaska?

My BF told me the other day that he thinks we should move to Alaska. He has apparently lost his mind because I know I am not cut out to live in Alaska.

Nothing against Alaska, its beautiful, wild and amazing (if the commercials are to be believed) and I would love to visit one day (preferably in the summer) but it takes a certain kind of person to live there year round and I am not that person. I did once consider moving to Anchorage after college, I was thinking a new adventure for graduate school but notice I was planning to move to a city and I changed my mind when I read your need a engine/battery (I can't remember which) warmer for your car in the winter...I don't want to live in a world were I need a engine/battery warmer for your car. Like I said it takes a special kind of person to live there...

Putting aside that I can barely tolerate the winters in Utah and that the winters in Alaska are much worse, I am pretty sure he wants to be homesteaders!!! Do I strike you as the type of girl who could homestead?

And whats up with men wanting to live in Alaska, I doubt most of these men who claim they want to live there could in fact live in a cabin in the woods 24/7/365. Because they don't just want to move they want to live there like my ancestors did on the frontier...I guess that is why they call Alaska the Last Frontier.

I see them with their cell phones, central heating and buying the most expensive cut of meat at the grocery store. They enjoy the creature comforts as much as I do and I really really enjoy them. And yet they think can go up to Alaska and carve out a living like our ancestor did or according to some TV shows they still do in Alaska. I doubt most of them would last a full winter.

And if I had to be stuck in a cabin with one person for the whole winter I would give new meaning to cabin fever, homicidal maniac and premenstrual symptoms.

A close friend of mine said that the men we know what to move to Alaska to grow beards, spit and pee outside...I don't know if that is true or not but I do know I love The BF enough to know that would be a bad idea.

And Me with a Shovel in My Hand and Not My Camera

Its common knowledge among my family and friends that all is fair in love and blogging. Which means that I will blogging about most anything that happens and if I took a picture expect it to appear on my blog eventually. I know that this is true for a lot of bloggers.

And like a lot of bloggers I am sure something has happened and when it was all over you thought I need to blog about this and then your next thought was I didn't get a single picture.

Well that happened to me this weekend, I didn't something that I never ever ever thought I would do and I didn't get one picture of it. To be honest I was busy and my hands were full but I was disappointed none the less.

I could tell you about it but you won't believe me...you are going to ask where is your proof. All I have is the testimony of The BF and the "pseudo" step-kids. And they can't be trusted. They would just repeat what I tell them to say. That cracks me up because they really wouldn't....they would intend to say what I want them to but the truth would come out.

Now you will never know what shocking and very country girl thing I did over the weekend. And believe me when I tell you, you would be shocked....seriously shocked.

I may be a small town girl but until recently I have had a definite big city attitude.

I really wish I had pictures. Oh well...maybe next time.

My Eulogy

If I was to write my own eulogy it would probably go something like this...

A Girl Named Michael died tragically today in a freak accident, she was crushed by a bookshelf that she had overloaded with books.

Michael was born in a small Idaho town, for 18 months her life was perfect and then her parents brought home one of several siblings. She then spent the rest of her life bossing her siblings, parents, coworkers and random strangers around. She could often be heard saying, "I told you I was right."

For years she lived an unsettled slightly vagabond life never really satisfied with what was going on, until she moved back to her small town. She loved being close to her nieces and nephews so much she decided that living in the small town was acceptable.

She meet her life partner The BF through his ex-wife, she could often be heard giggling about having the best how we meet story in the world. She took great pains trying to be a good and off beat "pseudo" step-mom...she really succeeded in the off beat part, the good part is subjective.

She is survived by her beloved dog Tashi, cat Tigger and a bunch of family. Actually a lot of family, more family then one girl should have and it would take to long to mention them all. But she loved them almost as much as the dog and cat.

She leaves behind a closet full of unfinished projects, more scarves then one person should own and a legacy of klutziness.

Wake Up Sleeping Beauty

Before I tell you my story I need to make sure you know a few facts.

1. I am a victim advocate.
2. I work primarily with domestic violence victims.
3. October is domestic violence awareness month.
4. Our agency is hosting a conference that starts at 8 am.
5. We have had late night events this week that end after 8 pm.
6. I live 27 minutes away from my office.
7. I drive through a canyon every day to and from work.
8. I hate driving through the canyon when its dark.
9. My Health Nut sister lives 5 minutes from my office.
10. The BF gets up every day at 4:20 am for work.
11. I rarely wake up when he does.
12. He kisses me every morning before he leaves.
13. I always wake up for the kiss.
14. 99% of the time I immediately fall back to sleep after the kiss.

I have been staying with my sister for the last few nights, without fail at 430 am I wake up and I can't go back to sleep. I get very grumpy when I can't sleep. I think its because The BF isn't there to kiss me at 430 am. I don't know if its the routine or the kiss it's self....it may be a little bit of both.

Whatever it is I am very excited to sleep in my own bed tonight.

Here is Some Ice Cream, Please Date My Ex-Husband

A few weeks ago The BF and I got into a disagreement. Okay not just a disagreement we had a fight. It happens to all couples, even the most healthy (I am not claiming that we are the picture of healthy functioning relationships but we try), and this is not the first time we have had a fight difference of opinion. In the after math of the deep discussion between The BF and I, The Ex-Wife/Friend offered me ice cream to not break up with him.

While I was not planning to brake up with him  I may or not have been fuming mad exasperated (and possibly slightly irrational but I am only claiming to be at fault for 50% of the confrontation debate) and I may or may not have made the comment, "If I was going to brake up with him it would be today."

It all started over something very silly and slightly stupid. And it is possible that The BF was being stubborn and I was lashing out due to not being in control of the situation but I don't want to lay the blame on anyone one person...we can both be idiots.

In my justified/unjustified rage annoyance (depending on who you talk to), I called the only person I really know in town The Ex-Wife/Friend. I asked her to come get me (my car was temporarily out of commission) I told her I needed to go to the store but I really wanted the one thing that will calm my mood...ice cream. The Ex-Wife/Friend took me to a local place where she bought me a giant ice cream cone and we sat and talked about nothing and everything.

She then kindly took me to the store to do the things I needed to do.

On the way back I may have still been feeling animosity displeasure towards The BF (it was a bad week, don't judge) and that was when I made the comment, "If I was going to brake up with him it would be today." (I was venting)

And this is when The Ex-Wife/Friend said the funniest thing to me, "You cant brake up with him I bought you ice cream."

People say the weirdest things to me but she had a really good point, she did buy me ice cream.

We Know Mother, We Read the Book

The two books we liked best.

Despite have grown up in rural America my Health Nut Sister and I are lacking in some very basic rural America skill. One of those skills is food preservation, mostly canning because I can freeze the hell out of things. So when my Health Nut Sister and I decided we wanted to start canning, I did what I always do...I read a lot of books on the topic.

I now believe I am an expert canner even though I have only spent two days doing it, but I read 4 books and several blog posts about canning. You may be thinking to yourself. "Girl Named Michael, I don't think that makes you an expert." And you would probably be right but heck I read a book so I am good.

So a canning we will go, and it was surprisingly easy and time consuming. Tomorrow I will share the process, what we canned and our recipes. Right now I want to share the experience we had with our new adventure.

After a late start (my niece got a ring stuck on her finger and it was starting to swell...she is okay now) we started washing all the vegetables for tomato sauce...there was an air of excitement and energy in my Health Nut Sister poorly laid out kitchen. This was our grand adventure and after all our planning it was finally happening.

After cooking our sauce we get down to the business of canning. The steps are not the hard its just takes a long time. And for every step we referenced one of the books we read to make sure we were doing it right. You would think my Health Nut Sister and were striking gold the way we were acting.

After we processed the first batch every time we heard the "pop" we would get excited and giggle. Like a bunch of tweens about to meet which ever teen star is in vogue this week. It was very exciting to be creating something and to REALLY be in control of  what you eat. It is a very freeing feeling.

On the second day we canned Nectarines and despite being tired we were still excited to be canning. On this day our mom joined us. And while we were canning she keep saying different stuff about canning and giving us advice. My sister and I just looked at her and said over and over, "We know mom, we read the book" or occasionally, "That's not what the book said." My mom's response was, "If you would have asked me you would't have to read the book." My eye rolling and sarcastic answer to that was, "I would have read the book anyway. It's what I do."

Please come back tomorrow and I will share the steps to canning and Wednesday the recipes.

The Step-Parent Trap

In case you don't know this about me I have two pseudo step-kids, a 15 year old "step-son" and 8 year old "step-daughter". And my step-daughter may have just seen me naked. In fact I am pretty sure she DID SEE ME NAKED!!!!!

Before I continue my tale there are a few things more you should know about me.

1. When the pseudo step-kids are not here I have no problem walking around naked or in my underwear. I am completely comfortable that way. (I know TMI but you need to know). When they are here I am always covered appropriately. 
2. I am always trying to get The BF not to bother me while in the shower (he likes to to talk to me then).
3. We have an opaque shower curtain...its not clear but you can see through it.
4. And the "pseudo" step-daughter has a purple hippo that is filled with lavender scented rice that she likes to heat up and cuddle with when she isn't feeling well...right now she has a cold.

Tonight as I was taking a shower, someone politely knocked on the bathroom door, I thought oh my gosh finally The BF is knocking before walking into the bathroom. When I responded to the knock the "pseudo" step-daughter walked into the bathroom and decided to ask me how to heat up her hippo in the microwave. We had a brief exchange and she left. 

In the mean time I was freaking out. Despite being comfortable being naked I am completely freaked out by this incident.

During the exchange I just keep thinking OMG I am naked and I know she can see me.

I briefly thought about yelling at her to get out but I didn't want to upset her, she just wanted her hippo to cuddle.  To her I wasn't a naked woman, I was the mom like person who could help her who just happened to be in the shower when she needed help.  

The Ex-Wife/Friend has assured me she does it all the time to her and I know that when you are mom you are never left alone but there is a fine line when you are a step-parent, "pseudo" or not. I am always aware of that line but I don't want the kids to be nervous in their home or worried they cant talk to me about things. And when you live with people, especially kids, doors will be opened and conversations will occur with only an opaque sheet of plastic between you. But what is okay?

Obviously this was not intended naked and I will be locking the bathroom door from this moment forward but what is okay with "pseudo" step-kids? Did I handle the situation okay? Should I have talked to her about it or just move on?

She appears to be okay and I don't think it really occurred to her I didn't have any clothes and all worries don't really matter. But I do worry that I am doing it all right.

Welcome to being a step-parent.

Am I Really a Modern Girl?

Recently I over heard a coworker ordering flowers for her boyfriend. My initial response was, "Why is she doing that? He should send her flowers."

WHAT????

Yes, I thought those words.

I couldn't decide why I thought it was strange. I am not a person big on getting flowers. I would rather you buy me a book but why would I think she shouldn't send flowers. She likes getting flowers so it makes sense she would send them.

I really am wondering if I am as 'open minded' as I think I am. Maybe I am really an old fashioned type of girl. Which is a perfectly wonderful way to be if that is what you want. But even if you are old fashioned you can still send your partner flowers. Right?

The whole thing has me questioning if I am really the modern thinker I have always thought? My mom and sisters and most people who know me would say YES. But it is clear that some where deep down I belief in traditional gender roles.

I am not saying if it is good or bad, Its just a little shocking to realize that about myself. And to admit that I secretly would like The BF to bring me home a bouquet of flowers but not roses...I don't like roses. I am not that traditional.

I am rambling...as usual. My mind is wondering all over this topic.

I will end with asking when was the last time you sent flowers to your partner and when was the last time you received flowers?

39 Dresses and I Hated Them All

The other day The BF, the "pseudo" step-kids and I went shopping. I normally would not go shopping with the family, I am not into self torture but the cards all just lined up in such a way that we all went shopping. We have several weddings coming up this summer and everyone needed new clothes...okay I probably didn't but I felt I deserved a new dress.  First up "pseudo" step-daughter; A very cute blue and purple summer dress. That she absolutely loves and we found it at the first store we went to, within moments of walking into the kids section, talk about a score. Now on to shoes...she recently had a growth spurt so none of her shoes fit except an ugly pair of flip flops that she loves. However there were no affordable and cute shoes in her sizes anywhere in town. I am not kidding about this. She has huge feet and everything either has a heel (she is 7) or cost $25 for plastic sandals. I am not sure what we are going to do but I am open to giving her a pedicure and letting her go barefoot. Next up The BF. All he needed was a new shirt. All of his dress shirts are long sleeved and heavy and I know he will be very uncomfortable in the hot sun. But I lucked out and found him a green short sleeved button down linen shirt (casual but nice). The person I thought would be the hardest turned out to be the easiest because we found it at the same store as "pseudo" step-daughter dress and it was on sale. "Pseudo" step-son was not as easy. I wanted to get the same shirt we got for Colby but a different color unfortunately they didn't have any in his sizes. He is in that, men's sizes are a little to big and boys sizes are a little to small, size. He is kind of hard to shop for...I also want him to be comfortable and embrace his own style which is some interesting mix of skater guy, jock and rock star. So we went to another store and I walked through the men's section twice and the boys section once when I found what was the only small mans shirt in the whole store. A light weight button down shirt that he said he didn't hate and would wear without compliant (he is a good sport). "Pseudo" step-son also needed new shoes but unlike his sister his feet are not abnormally large. He found a pair he liked on sale but has stated he wont wear them often. My new favorite dress Then my turn, while shopping for everyone else I was trying on dresses...lots and lots of dresses but I hated everything. They were to long or where unflattering or to much dress for summer wedding season. After 4 stores I finally sent the family away and went into what I know is an expensive store but they were having a sale so I hoped I could find something. Here I tried on several more dresses, I found 2 that would work one I liked and one I LOVED. Even standing in the dressing room surrounded by mirrors and slightly unflattering light, the dressed work. After falling in love with the dress I noticed the price tag....ouch!!! It was the most expensive thing I had tried on all day. Whats a girl to do? Justify the hell out of spending the money and get the dress that you loved and was slimming, of course. I then decided I needed new shoes also but luckily I found a pair on sale.  Now I just need to decide how to accessories it.