Its a Freaking Tradition and You Will Enjoy It

Does your family have holiday traditions?

As an unofficial blended family, we are trying to find our traditions. Its not always easy to establish figure out the traditions when the kids spend every other holiday with the other parent. Plus you have to combine the traditions of two different families.

This is not always easy.   

I think it's important to not focus on the time you don't have the kids but the time you do have them, for example: this year the "pseudo" step-kids will be at their moms for Christmas this year. Which means we don't have them for Christmas Eve. So this year we will open our Christmas eve gift (pajamas, hot chocolate, popcorn and a new Christmas movie to watch) we will open them the Saturday before Christmas. On Christmas Day we like to have a big fancy breakfast, so the Ex-Wife/Friend will bring the "pseudo" step-kids over early so we can eat and open gifts.

Just in case you think this is all one way...at the first of December the Ex-Wife/Friend's mom (who lives out of town) comes and visits for 2 weeks. During that time The BF is flexible with parent time, allowing the kids to spend lots of time with their grandma. When its "our Christmas" we let the gets go to the Christmas Eve service with Ex-Wife/Friend and instead of them spending time with her early in the day (like we do) on Christmas she takes them in the afternoon for a big family party at her dad's.

(Just in case you think this is only about time with the "pseudo' step-kids, we enjoy our time without them...we like to go to the movies on Christmas Day without them).

Our goal is to create a happy day without stress. I think it's about being flexible and respecting each others traditions. After all its not about you and your ego its about the kids, compromise is key. I know it's not always possible for this to happen. It takes every person putting their ego aside and figuring out, I know I also lucked out by being friends with the Ex-Wife/Friend first then hooking up with The BF.

I love when I start sounding like I know what I am talking about.

To Trick or To Treat

The Ex-Wife/Friend and The BF are mad at the "pseudo" step-son. It's become quite hostile in our home and all because he decided not to go trick or treating this year and they will have 1 less lid to steal candy from.

I have learned since becoming a "pseudo" step-mom that one of the benefits of having kids is stealing their candy but they are being a little ridiculous.

I tried to explain that you can just go buy Halloween candy on November 1st for a fraction of the cost and you don't have to share it with the kids. But I guess they feel that if they have to take one kid trick or treating they should take both kids and get the maximum amount of candy.

The keep pestering him to go trick or treating...its a little comical how desperate they are about it. Any second now their will be an ultimatum, "go beg the neighbors for candy or else." They told him that if he doesn't go then no candy. I assured him he can have candy and to remember who is really in charge in our weird little family.

I feel like he is about to give in to their demands, I am supporting him 100% and I don't have an ulterior motive....okay maybe I do. This year I am making him hand out candy to the kids while I am playing on the internet. This new development is really working in my favor, so much so I am going to go buy him a bag of marked down candy tomorrow that he doesn't have to share.. I wouldn't want him to change his mind about trick or treating next year.

My Eulogy

If I was to write my own eulogy it would probably go something like this...

A Girl Named Michael died tragically today in a freak accident, she was crushed by a bookshelf that she had overloaded with books.

Michael was born in a small Idaho town, for 18 months her life was perfect and then her parents brought home one of several siblings. She then spent the rest of her life bossing her siblings, parents, coworkers and random strangers around. She could often be heard saying, "I told you I was right."

For years she lived an unsettled slightly vagabond life never really satisfied with what was going on, until she moved back to her small town. She loved being close to her nieces and nephews so much she decided that living in the small town was acceptable.

She meet her life partner The BF through his ex-wife, she could often be heard giggling about having the best how we meet story in the world. She took great pains trying to be a good and off beat "pseudo" step-mom...she really succeeded in the off beat part, the good part is subjective.

She is survived by her beloved dog Tashi, cat Tigger and a bunch of family. Actually a lot of family, more family then one girl should have and it would take to long to mention them all. But she loved them almost as much as the dog and cat.

She leaves behind a closet full of unfinished projects, more scarves then one person should own and a legacy of klutziness.

Here is Some Ice Cream, Please Date My Ex-Husband

A few weeks ago The BF and I got into a disagreement. Okay not just a disagreement we had a fight. It happens to all couples, even the most healthy (I am not claiming that we are the picture of healthy functioning relationships but we try), and this is not the first time we have had a fight difference of opinion. In the after math of the deep discussion between The BF and I, The Ex-Wife/Friend offered me ice cream to not break up with him.

While I was not planning to brake up with him  I may or not have been fuming mad exasperated (and possibly slightly irrational but I am only claiming to be at fault for 50% of the confrontation debate) and I may or may not have made the comment, "If I was going to brake up with him it would be today."

It all started over something very silly and slightly stupid. And it is possible that The BF was being stubborn and I was lashing out due to not being in control of the situation but I don't want to lay the blame on anyone one person...we can both be idiots.

In my justified/unjustified rage annoyance (depending on who you talk to), I called the only person I really know in town The Ex-Wife/Friend. I asked her to come get me (my car was temporarily out of commission) I told her I needed to go to the store but I really wanted the one thing that will calm my mood...ice cream. The Ex-Wife/Friend took me to a local place where she bought me a giant ice cream cone and we sat and talked about nothing and everything.

She then kindly took me to the store to do the things I needed to do.

On the way back I may have still been feeling animosity displeasure towards The BF (it was a bad week, don't judge) and that was when I made the comment, "If I was going to brake up with him it would be today." (I was venting)

And this is when The Ex-Wife/Friend said the funniest thing to me, "You cant brake up with him I bought you ice cream."

People say the weirdest things to me but she had a really good point, she did buy me ice cream.

The Step-Parent Trap

In case you don't know this about me I have two pseudo step-kids, a 15 year old "step-son" and 8 year old "step-daughter". And my step-daughter may have just seen me naked. In fact I am pretty sure she DID SEE ME NAKED!!!!!

Before I continue my tale there are a few things more you should know about me.

1. When the pseudo step-kids are not here I have no problem walking around naked or in my underwear. I am completely comfortable that way. (I know TMI but you need to know). When they are here I am always covered appropriately. 
2. I am always trying to get The BF not to bother me while in the shower (he likes to to talk to me then).
3. We have an opaque shower curtain...its not clear but you can see through it.
4. And the "pseudo" step-daughter has a purple hippo that is filled with lavender scented rice that she likes to heat up and cuddle with when she isn't feeling well...right now she has a cold.

Tonight as I was taking a shower, someone politely knocked on the bathroom door, I thought oh my gosh finally The BF is knocking before walking into the bathroom. When I responded to the knock the "pseudo" step-daughter walked into the bathroom and decided to ask me how to heat up her hippo in the microwave. We had a brief exchange and she left. 

In the mean time I was freaking out. Despite being comfortable being naked I am completely freaked out by this incident.

During the exchange I just keep thinking OMG I am naked and I know she can see me.

I briefly thought about yelling at her to get out but I didn't want to upset her, she just wanted her hippo to cuddle.  To her I wasn't a naked woman, I was the mom like person who could help her who just happened to be in the shower when she needed help.  

The Ex-Wife/Friend has assured me she does it all the time to her and I know that when you are mom you are never left alone but there is a fine line when you are a step-parent, "pseudo" or not. I am always aware of that line but I don't want the kids to be nervous in their home or worried they cant talk to me about things. And when you live with people, especially kids, doors will be opened and conversations will occur with only an opaque sheet of plastic between you. But what is okay?

Obviously this was not intended naked and I will be locking the bathroom door from this moment forward but what is okay with "pseudo" step-kids? Did I handle the situation okay? Should I have talked to her about it or just move on?

She appears to be okay and I don't think it really occurred to her I didn't have any clothes and all worries don't really matter. But I do worry that I am doing it all right.

Welcome to being a step-parent.

10 Rules For Dating Your Friends Ex-Husband

Its no surprise by now that I am dating my friends ex-husband or that she was the one that set us up. And in the 3 years and 3 months we have been dating I have become an expert on dating your friend's ex.

Or at least I like to pretend I am and when people ask me how do we do it I have no problem giving them advice and waxing poetically about the situation. I don't think everyone can do it...in fact I truly  believe that its rare and by the grace of God that we make it work.

Never the less I have developed 10 rules that help see me through the situation. Follow these simple rules and you to can survive be as blissfully happy as us.

10 Rules For Dating Your Friends Ex

A picture captured at a wedding we all attended, separately.

1. Remember the issues they have had in their relationships are not your issues. Trust me you and your partner will have your own obstacles to over come, its not necessary to take on additional ones.
2. Don't participate in any bashing of the other person. You better than anyone is aware of their faults but no matter how mad you are at one of them bad mouthing the other is always a bad idea.
3. Don't discuss your sex life with the Ex/Friend. It gets weird to quickly. If you want to talk about your sex life I suggest blogging about it or talking to another friend. 
4. Don't share secrets. As a friend you are often told things in confidence and as a girlfriend you also told things...there is no reason to share those secrets with the other person.
5. Communication is important. If The BF and his Ex/Friend have a hard time communicating, and lets face it they probably do, you may be the link to help them because you speak both their languages. Embrace this and when necessary communicate without bias and emotion.
6. Be honest about your feelings..if someone hurts them tell them but remember to be kind about it.
7. Don't be afraid to call them on their bad choices...always do so in a loving and kind matter but remind them they are acting like idiots. I do this often.
8. Tell them no. Because you are The Friend and The Girlfriend they may conspire together to get you to do something you don't want to do, like taking the gets trick or treating. Feel free to say no thank you I will stay home where its nice and warm and hand out candy. 
9. Be leery of the nay sayers. Your relationship will be under a spot light and people are waiting for the "blow up" especially between you and the Ex/Friend. Just smile and know that this type of relationship is not for everyone and not everyone will understand.
10. The most important rule is to have a sense of humor. Lets be honest it is a funny bizarre situation and if you cant stop and laugh at yourself and the situation Then its not going to work.

I think these rules may apply in most relationships.

Baring Your Soul and Everything Else

I think my relationship has crossed into a strange new territory.  I am not sure how to get it back to the normal place. I wouldn't worry about it changing except I don't think I like the changes....because no one should feel that comfortable around their BF's Ex-Wife.

I know I have talked about us being friends and how she introduced The BF and I but now we have crossed into some alternate universe.

First there was the ass slap on Saturday. On Saturday we were having a joint birthday party for the "Pseudo" Step-Son, we were waiting for everyone to arrive. I was laying on the couch and she sat down next to me and slapped my ass. I didn't now we were those kinds of friends. I really don't have butt slapping friends...isn't that why God created families. Okay I do have a friend or two like that but this was a first for her and I. I was a little shocked plus she slapped my backside pretty hard.

Then there was this evening. She stopped by to pick up the kids and to sort out some more Girl Scout Cookies (that's right we have a house full of Girl Scout Cookies). I was in a hurry made me excuses and jumped in the shower. When I got out they were still here talking and I remembered I needed to talk to her about a work issue, so there I am talking My BF's Ex-Wife while wearing nothing but a towel. I was on the landing upstairs and she was in the kitchen but still I was wearing a towel on my head and one wrapped around me. We talked about work and Girl Scout Cookies...all very odd and surreal.

Its clear we have moved past friends but to what I don't know.

Why are We Feeding My Exwife?

When you are dating your friendsEx-Husband you get to say lots of fun things. Like I am shopping with my boyfriend's ex-wife. But I sometimes forget that the Ex-Wife/Friend also gets to say fun things like I drove my Ex-Husbands new girlfriend to work. For people who don't know the situation they often get a look in their eye like what are you people talking about. It amuses me a lot.

The BF doesn't often make these kind of fun statement. To be honest he tends to pretend that the situation is different. When asked how we meet I think he tells people a friend introduced us. Unlike me who relishes in telling the the story he tends to skip over it.

But occasionally he says something that makes me laugh at our situation.

• The BF: What are you doing?
• Me: Making a dinner for Ex-Wife/friend.
• The BF: Again? Why?
• Me: Because I want to feed her.
• The BF: Serious, Why are we feeding my Ex-Wife every night?
• Me: She drove me to work on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. She didn't ask for gas money and one day she even bought me coffee. So this is how I am repaying her and thanking her.
• The BF: Really?
• Me: Yes, she likes when I feed her. So to her its a great way to give back.

These conversations make me realize how really unique and rare we live our lives.

I also realize how blessed it is...we don't always agree and get along but at least we can laugh at ourselves.

Things You May have Overheard at My House

Here are a few of the recent a more interesting things over heard at my house recently.

1. Omg Omg Santa brought me Bon Jovi concert tickets!!!
2. Why are we feeding my ex-wife?
3. Honey I think you should get a vasectomy.
4. I had to put 15 PSI of air in your back tires.

I am hoping to blog about each one of these topics this week but just in case I get busy and forget I wanted to share the highlights with you.

The year is starting off with a bang and its not looking like it will slow down anytime soon. I did finally get all the Christmas decorations put away. I was thinking about waiting another week because we have all been so busy but The BF brought up all the boxes from the basement so I figured we might as well get started.

He is pretty smart. I bet he  realized if he didn't bring the boxes up then I would have put it off and off and off and soon it  would be September and at that point I would have just left it up because its almost Christmas time again.

Have a good week!!!

No....You Can Not Borrow The BF!!!!

Recently, two days ago, I posted on Facebook about The ExWife/Friend wanting to borrow The BF. She was hoping to get help with some chores this weekend. I received a lot comments on this status...it appears that a number of my friends and family have strong feelings about exs helping exs.

The chores were simple ones: 1. She wondered if he would help load some stuff in his truck and take it to the local second hand store and 2. If we would sand and refinishing her jewelry box (he recently did that to a coffee table in our house and she thought it looked really good).

The first one is something that happens often when you have a truck, people ask you to help them move and haul stuff. This is not a big deal The BF has offered to help friends and doesn't mind helping when he can. The second thing recognizes his skill as a handyman.

Although I was being funny and silly when I posted it (I never take Facebook to seriously). The ExWife/Friend claims I vilified her on my status by leaving out the important detail that she was planning to pay him for his gas and time. And she may be right, I was having very strong feeling about him helping.

I had to to a little soul searching.

My conclusion is that I am a mean selfish bitch and sometimes a horrible horrible friend.

Yup because while I may have said I was being funny and silly; I was also mark my territory and thinking you didn't want him he is mine...the only chores/projects he is going to do are the ones I want you have no claim to his time.

This was not a casual thought I had that lasted for a few seconds...It occupied my mind for days.

And made me feel bad. She is my friend, if another friend asked him to help I would nag encourage him to help especially if it was show casing his handy dandy skills. So why did her request annoy me?

Because I seem to have some underlying insecurities when it comes to our bizarre relationship.

I never claimed it worked all the time....just 99.9% of the time.

I Challenged The ExWife

About 2 weeks ago The ExWife/Friend and I challenged each other to only spend $20 month on extras for the summer.

What are extras you ask...for her and I its books, jewelry, purses, nail polish, did I mention books. For the two of us its mostly books. In fact its because of books that she and I really started talking. So I guess you could say that books are the reason I meet The BF.

One day we were sitting in court, she is a probation officer, I am a victim advocate, she was reading High Five by Janet Evanovich (I love Stephanie Plum). I asked if she has read other in the series and it turns out she had and was rereading the whole series (I had just reread them myself). We started talking became friends and then she introduced me to her ex-husband.

What does that touching story have to do with the challenge...not a thing. Except it shows are love of books.

And now, because of the challenge, I am trying to figure out how to justify buying two books that come out this month when I only have money for one...don't judge that nail color was a total justified purchase.

Even without a new nail polish I would only have money for 1 book.

Now how do I rationalize the purchase of two books?

Your Sin is Not My Sin

Have I mentioned I am doing an awesome bible study with friends???? I am not sure why I ask these questions I know I have at least once. (I bet so I can do a shameless link to a previous post).

As I was saying I am doing a bible study with friends its an awesome bible study titled Resolution for Women. Yesterday we explored a section called My Integrity. We had a wonderful discussion about the things we keep hidden from others. You know the books, movies, actions you don't want people from your church to know about it. For me it was a series of books I hide under my bed. Not because I am ashamed others will see them but because I don't want the kids to find them...(I never had this problem when I was single).

During the discussion one of the women in the group looked at me and another lady (the other lady just happens to be Ex-Wife/Friend) in the group and said we 3 need to repent for our relationships.....WHAT? Did you just tell me I need to repent? 

A first I had no idea what she was talking about...I was stumped. Then I realized that she was referring to the 3 of us not being married and having a physically intimate relationship with our partners. In case you didn't get that we are having sex before we are married.

I was immediately defensive...as I am sure most people would be when someone is saying you are bad, very very bad.

I explained that I was in a committed relationship and The BF and I are very committed to each other and I didn't believe God was going to punish me for being in that relationship. Despite having sex before we are married. I know its not a very Christian attitude but I truly don't think He is worried about that part of my life.  

Another woman in the group said, " I think God has standards and guidelines he wants us to follow and marriage before sex is one of them."

Are you telling me God has a check list. I doubt it.  He will judge me by my heart and to me living with The BF is just as much as a commitment for us as marriage is to some. I really believe that I will be in this relationship until one of us dies and I may never have a wedding (although I would like one I need new towels).

I think the friend didn't want to be alone in her "sin". She believes her relationship is wrong and whats "absolution" through numbers or maybe just support and justification for her actions. Which is not something I can give her if she believes she is sinning she needs to take that up with God and clergy. 

I am not trying to justify my relationship with The BF or God. I am not even sure why I am writing all this or if it makes sense. I just need to express myself so I will be able to move forward and stop being upset with my friend.

That's What She Said

Last night as I was getting ready for a bed I received a text from the Ex-wife/friend.

• So do people just never hurt your feeling or r u just really good at pretending it doesn't cause right now I'm wishing I was more like you.

This mad me sad for my friend, after she told me her story I was angry at the people of this world for being so openly judgmental and rude to someone that if they took a moment to know is a very kind and compassionate person.

Yup....I just said The BF's Ex-wife/friend was a kind and compassionate woman. I am lucky I get to say that.

Today we were talking about what happened and we all started laughing because of all the people she knows I was the one she texted first to help her feel better.

That's right she gets to say I look to my Ex-Husband's new Girlfriend for advice and to cheer me up.

Sometimes I forget I am not the only one who gets to make funny statements about our relationship. She gets to say equally crazy and bizarre statements.

To be honest we think its hilarious when people ask how I meet The BF and I point to her and say she set me up with her Ex-Husband. I really need to start taking pictures of their faces.

The BF just pretends the whole thing is normal.

Thankful Thursday

Yesterday I went to an Ash Wednesday service on my lunch break. Its been awhile since I have done that and I must admit it afterwards I felt very peaceful and inspired.

And last night whenever I would notice the ashes on my forehead I would become reflective and thankful for all the blessings in my life. And because its Thursday I am going to share my list of thinks I am thankful for.

• My Family: While they may make me crazy and more than once cry, they are always there to fight and laugh with me. Besides who else can you be mad at for something that happened 20 years ago *wink wink*.
• The BF: Neither one of us is perfect and when we are having a bad day watch the fireworks explode...on our good days we are amazingly in sync and there is no stopping us. Thank goodness the good days are much much more often then the bad.
• My Co-Workers/Friends: I am lucky enough to work in the most amazing place and can honestly say that my co-workers are also my good friends. Where else could I have such a dark sense of humor, think Tim Burton, and everyone else does also.
• My Extend Family: I have a large extend family and I know the name of all my cousins and the name of all their kids. We cant all get together as often as we need to but I know they will help out when ever they can.
• The Ex-Wife and "Pseudo" Step-Kids: I know that my relationship with The Ex-wife/Friend is very unique and not everyone can have the kind of relationship. I know our relationship is makes having a relationship with the pseudo step-kids easier...plus they are good kids.
• And last but not least An Innate Sense of Style: That's right I said it I am thankful for having a sense of style. I am not sure where I got it from (seriously ask my 9 year old niece, we are the only ones with style) but I look good and some days that what keeps me from going crazy. 

What are you Thankful for today?

The Perfect Homemade Gift for Moms

I am not one to do crafts or homemade gifts. I am busy and to be honest I am not all the creative. And I love to shop for myself and others so why make something when I can buy it!!! But recently I have been trying to save money. Do get me wrong I still shop...a lot. I just wait for better deals.

So when it came time to take my nieces shopping for their mom's Christmas gift I decided we would make a gift but what do we make I have no crafting skills. Then I discovered a fun easy project for kids to do when they want to make a gift for moms.

I have already used it twice. Once with my nieces and once with the "pseudo" step-kids. Its fun and moms love the gift. I need more kids in my life to teach this perfect gift to.

What could have me all excited? Why sugar of course!!!!!

Sugar scrubs to be more precise.

Dont judge I buy my olive oil at Sams club

Now you can make super complicated sugar scrubs with expensive ingredients are you can make them with items you probably already have in your house.

• Olive Oil 
• Sugar
• Water

I know your thinking I have all those items at my house.

So do I.

I like to add two more ingredients but they are not necessary

• Essential oils
• Food coloring

Measure out a cup and 1/2 of sugar in a bowl. Add a Tablespoon of water and essential oils if desired. Add 1/4 cup of olive oil and stir stir stir. At this time you can add in food coloring.

"Pseudo" step-daughter stirring

I add food coloring to help the recipient of the gift (My sister and The Exwife/friend) to distinguish between the two different kinds of sugar scrub. Both times we did a citrus scrub to energize and a lavender scrub to relax.

That way each child can make one and give it to their mom. Told you I was brilliant.

Some people will tell you to use sugar that is unrefined but for those of us with sensitive skin the smaller granules from processed sugar is less abrasive and less likely to irritate.

Others will say not to use olive oil and go buy some expensive oil that costs a lot and adds stress to your life because its not easy to find in small towns. I say olive oil is perfect. It softens the skin and you can cook with whats left over.

If you don't have essential oil add a little coco powder for an exotic scrub.

Once everything is mixed place in a container with a lid and you are done....told you I was brilliant.

The BF's Ex-Wife is Trying to Talk me into Marrying her Ex-Husband

Can I tell you I much I really enjoy writing comments like The BF's Ex-Wife is Trying to Talk me into Marrying her Ex-Husband!!! I giggle every time. More important it is true!!!

The Ex-Wife/Friend is trying to get me to marry The BF.

She says stuff like, "Just because he and I didn't work out doesn't mean you two wont" and "Can I be a bridesmaid when you do get married." To The BF she says stuff like "The third times the charm." Shes not very good at the persuasive argument but she keeps trying. Almost every time I see her she makes some little comment.

And she is not the only one now the "pseudo" step-daughter has gotten into the act and she is teaming up with my mom and the health nut sister. Recently when we were all hanging at the moms house the "pseudo" step-daughter made a comment about The BF and I getting married soon my mom was joining in and my sister was saying you know you want to.

And my co-workers are always teasing me about it. A local Judge has offered to perform the ceremony for free. The other day when The Ex-Wife was teasing me at court about marrying her Ex-Husband (really I laugh every time I write this) the Judge comments I am free tomorrow.

I know this is all in good fun (and I have a good laugh myself) except for The Ex-Wife/Friend I think she is very serious about me marrying her Ex-Husband. (I know that makes you smile just a little too).

Why it Pays to Be Friends with The BFs ExWife

There are two very good reasons to be friends with The BF's Ex-Wife.

1. Imagine that you left your cell phone at home. You would go get it but its a 27 minute drive through a treacherous canyon and as much as you love your cell phone and feel naked with out you wisely decide its not worth the gas you would waste to go get. Unfortunately the only phone number you have memorized is your own and now you need to talk to The BF (who is home from work) because your paranoid and don't know if you left your phone plugged in charging or if you dropped it outside the house and you really want him to go check for you. Luckily you are friends with The Ex-Wife and know where she works so you call her to get his cell number. She may laugh at you but she gives you the number and now she has something funny to post on Facebook.

Crazy hair for crazy hair day!!!

2. Only she will understand the importance of the following text

• Me to Her: Doesn't matter as long as its orange....she's making me crazy. Tomorrow is crazy hair day (oh yea) Tuesday is western Day (good thing u r from Wyoming) Wednesday is pajama day (she wants me to wash her pink pjs so she can wear them) Thursday is crazy sock day (I told her to wear mismatched socks) Friday is rainbow day (the1st graders wear orange)....why did you teach her to read.

Casue lets face it dads don't understand the importance of crazy hair or other school theme days. Okay they may understand the importance but don't know you need to plan ahead and talk to the other parent for orange shirts and pink pjs.  

And by being friends you can embrace the fact that one of you is good at creating cute hair styles (me) and don't feel bad when the little one wants one of you to do her hair for crazy hair day. 

I'm Not Going to Apologize

I normally don't have issues with apologizing if I know I am wrong. If I am wrong I am wrong.  Sometimes something I have done now will not have possible consequences for years. Since I am unsure that it will turn out bad I don't feel the need to apologize even when I am pretty sure its not going to end well.

I have had one of those occasions recently. I was driving around with the "pseudo" step-daughter who was being a bit of a brat and complaining that their was nothing to do in my car. So I gave her a fashion magazine and told her to look at it. The only thing I heard from her for the next 30 minutes was "OOOHHHH that's pretty," or "I like that."

I was shocked and amazed because when that little one is grumpy she is REALLY grumpy. When we reached our destination she was sad that she couldn't finish reading the magazine. So I gave her a book marker (please don't ask why I had a book marker in my car...I just did) and told her next time we are in the car you can finish looking at it. Last Friday I was driving around with both "pseudo"step-kids and she immediately grabbed the magazine and said, "Is this my place?"

Based on past experience I am pretty sure I should apologize to The BF and Ex-wife/Friend but to be honest I am not sorry and I have hope that this wont be an issue in the future....of course she has already asked when my new magazine will come.

I also should apologize to the lady I flipped off this morning on my commute (and my mom I did promise I would stop doing that). She cut me off and caused me to slam on my brakes and I almost got rear ended by the car behind me. But I am so not sorry I did that.

And Baby Makes...

I bet you thought I was going to announce I am pregnant. Despite the fact that I have made myself clear on the subject of having kids (like other peoples kids but don't want any of my own), you read that blog title and got your hopes up. Which brings me to today's topic.

Why does everyone want me to have a baby?

Its actually scary how many people want me to have a baby. In recent months I have heard various forms of the same thing...when are going to have a baby?

Its so bad that a few weeks ago when I had the stomach flu that lingered, which was probably stress. (I get am upset tummy every time I am stressed) All my friends and family thought I was pregnant and keep talking about it to the point were I was so paranoid I bought a pregnancy test just to proof what I already knew. I was not pregnant.

A co-worker/friend along with my mom are conspiring together and make comments like they are going to start spiking my food with antibiotics so my birth control stops working. This has made me so paranoid that when my friend was sick with some bronchial cold in the back of my mind I thought she was faking it so she could get access to the antibiotics and start drugging me.

A local prosecutor keeps telling me that I need to have a kid. He thinks it will make me less of a liberal and more conservative. I told him my baby will be a little peace and love hippie baby complete with a fauxhawk, piercing and tattoo. He laughed and said you will be good at it and you will be more conservative.

Even the Ex-wife/Friend is getting in on the act but for purely selfish reasons. She claims I am so good with her kids I should have one of my own. I tried to explain I am goof with them because 50% of the time they live at her house. It would be different if the child lived with me 24/7. She offered to take the baby on her weekends, this is a ploy to have access to a baby without the responsibilities. She is taking a page from my book.

My mother though has gone nuts. She so wants me to have a baby that the other day we had the following conversation:

• Mom: I think you should have a baby
• Me: Are you kidding?
• Mom: Just try it once to see if you like it.
• Me: Just try it!!!! Really!!!! Its not like I can return a baby after a week if it doesn't work out. Or play with it for a couple months then forget about. Or stick it in the closet when I'm done with it. I'm pretty sure you GO TO JAIL for stuff like that.
• Mom: I am sure your sister (referring to the Health Nut one) would take it if you don't want it.

Thank goodness The BF is on the same page as me. Because the rest of you people are all nuts.

Sister Wives Unite

About a week or so ago I had lunch with The BF and his Ex-wife/Friend. This is not unusual but its also not common. On this particular day The BF was doing my a favor and I had to bribe him with food. And it just so happens that the Ex-wife/Friend was cooking lunch for everyone that day.

I called her up to see if she had enough food for him and she assured me she did but them started laughing and told me that today would have been their 7th wedding anniversary if they had stayed married. And its kind of funny that they were having lunch today. I agree it was funny and a nice lunch.

However, this post is not about "celebrating" their unanniversary this post is about the other people we had lunch...one in particular that was astonished we could really sit down and all be civil to each other.  I have talked about it several times at work and on my blog I guess she thought I was exaggerating the facts because she keep going on and on and on about how we all get along.

And I am not going to lie and say its perfect and every moment we all love each other at different times they have both driven me to want to bang my head on the wall and I am guessing that I have driven them both to drink a time or two. And I know they have driven each other to the brink of insanity and beyond.

I know we are lucky but I like to think that even if I wasn't friends with her first we would still try and get along. To be honest its just easier than hating each other and I am innately lazy. I get that when it comes to divorce and kids people do some crazy stuff and resentment builds. But sometimes its is a lack of patience and a lot of jealousy and that is not healthy.

Its not good for you, your relationship and definitely not good for the kids. But you have to make a good honest effort to get along if their are children involved. My friend who was just so astonished we got along has been dating a guy for 10+ years and hates her BF's ex-wife and is quite jealous and nasty about the kids and then she gets upset that she isn't included in things.

I also realize that you can do everything to be supportive, patient and kind and the other person in the bizarre little triangle is not the same way. They are mean manipulative and jealous but you cant control their behavior you can only be responsible for yourself and giving your best each and every time.

I dont know what point I am trying to make but I hope that everyone is making that effort to be nice to each other.