Chores for Kids, Yeah or Nah?

Its Sunday so that means I have another list of chores to be accomplishing and instead I am taking a little break to watch football and blog.

I am seriously contemplating tossing today's list and doing it another day. The only problem with that is that I didn't accomplish everything on last Sunday's list so I have that to do and the stuff for this week.

As I look at the list I am wondering what can I pawn off on to the kids.

I am really channeling my evil "pseudo" step-mom today.

I say that jokingly but I am wondering what can they do as daily chores do I can relax a little today?

Does this make my a bad parental unit? Is it wrong? They only spent half of their day here the other part at their moms so what is to much?

I think one choir a night is okay...I don't want them to think they only do work over here but they should help out around the house, right?

Okay all you moms and dads out there, give me your advice. What is to much and what is to little for kids that go back and forth between two homes?

I guess I will get back to my list. As much as I dream of them doing all my chores I am really not an a wicked step-mom.

Sunday Not My Fun Day

Sunday is never a rest day around here. For some reason I don't get much done on Saturday, so Sunday is the day were all my weekend tasks get done.

Every weekend I try and get stuff done on Saturday but it never happens

Here is the list of things I want to get done today.

1. Drink coffee. (You have to put something on your list that is a sure to get completed)
2. Watch football. (just in case I get nothing done I can cross of two things)
3. Laundry. (This is started but takes all day..I hate doing laundry)
4. Cut up pineapple and freeze. (pineapple pancakes, pineapple chicken and pineapple pizza)
5. Puree tomatoes and freeze. (more spaghetti sauce (to make next weekend), diced tomatoes, tomato sauce)
6. Defrost turkey. (Its whats for dinner tomorrow night)
7. Cut up and freeze strawberries. (I have no plans I just found a really good deal)
8. Cook lunch. (I feel like PB&J)
9. Cook dinner. (More PB&J)
10. Finish 2 blog posts 
11. Start 2 more blog posts.
12. Take a nap. (pretty sure this will get done also)
13. Make body wash (this is half way done)

That seems like a huge list I wonder if I will get it all done.

What are you doing today?

Wake Up Sleeping Beauty

Before I tell you my story I need to make sure you know a few facts.

1. I am a victim advocate.
2. I work primarily with domestic violence victims.
3. October is domestic violence awareness month.
4. Our agency is hosting a conference that starts at 8 am.
5. We have had late night events this week that end after 8 pm.
6. I live 27 minutes away from my office.
7. I drive through a canyon every day to and from work.
8. I hate driving through the canyon when its dark.
9. My Health Nut sister lives 5 minutes from my office.
10. The BF gets up every day at 4:20 am for work.
11. I rarely wake up when he does.
12. He kisses me every morning before he leaves.
13. I always wake up for the kiss.
14. 99% of the time I immediately fall back to sleep after the kiss.

I have been staying with my sister for the last few nights, without fail at 430 am I wake up and I can't go back to sleep. I get very grumpy when I can't sleep. I think its because The BF isn't there to kiss me at 430 am. I don't know if its the routine or the kiss it's self....it may be a little bit of both.

Whatever it is I am very excited to sleep in my own bed tonight.

Autumn...My favorite Time of Year

There are a lot of reasons to like Autumn.

1. Cooler temperatures.
2. Pumpkin spice...everything.
3. The beautiful colors.
4. Halloween.
5. Football.
6. Spiced Apple Cider.
7. Peaches...lots and lots of peaches.
8. Tomatoes...lots and lots of tomatoes
9. Boots and sweaters.
10. Fuzzy socks.

Yes, I listed fuzzy socks as a top ten reason to love Autumn. 

It is in fact my favorite part of Autumn...getting to wear lots of fuzzy socks.

Thank about it, you come home from a long day at the office. You walk in the door kiss the kids and ask about homework. Kiss The BF and ask after his day. Then you make your way upstairs to strip off the day's uniform. 

You put on a pair of comfy pjs, yoga pants, or whatever you can find and last you open that one drawer and put on a pair of fuzzy socks. It is in this moment that you know you are home for the evening and that no matter what happened life is good and wonderful. It is possibly that in that moment you are happiest.

The moment doesn't last for long, soon someone is asking whats for dinner and you have to leave that moment but the socks will remind you.

What is your favorite part of Autumn?

The inspiration for this post came from Story Dam. Please check out this wonderful site for writers by writers. 

That's What She Said

I have had a strange week. I cant even put into words how strange.

I am sure I could find the words but where is the fun in that? What I am going to do is share some of the strangeness in the form of 4 very random and strange things I have said in the last three days.

So here are the top 4 comments with no context whats so ever...

• "I smoked for 3 months, it was the greatest three months of my life."
• "I should put this book down and go cook dinner but I am sure that will turn out to be a mistake."
• "My legs look like a battlefield....how did that happen?"
• "Do you need to poop?"

Like I said its been a weird week and its only Wednesday.

What are some of the weird things you have said this week.

10 Rules For Dating Your Friends Ex-Husband

Its no surprise by now that I am dating my friends ex-husband or that she was the one that set us up. And in the 3 years and 3 months we have been dating I have become an expert on dating your friend's ex.

Or at least I like to pretend I am and when people ask me how do we do it I have no problem giving them advice and waxing poetically about the situation. I don't think everyone can do it...in fact I truly  believe that its rare and by the grace of God that we make it work.

Never the less I have developed 10 rules that help see me through the situation. Follow these simple rules and you to can survive be as blissfully happy as us.

10 Rules For Dating Your Friends Ex

A picture captured at a wedding we all attended, separately.

1. Remember the issues they have had in their relationships are not your issues. Trust me you and your partner will have your own obstacles to over come, its not necessary to take on additional ones.
2. Don't participate in any bashing of the other person. You better than anyone is aware of their faults but no matter how mad you are at one of them bad mouthing the other is always a bad idea.
3. Don't discuss your sex life with the Ex/Friend. It gets weird to quickly. If you want to talk about your sex life I suggest blogging about it or talking to another friend. 
4. Don't share secrets. As a friend you are often told things in confidence and as a girlfriend you also told things...there is no reason to share those secrets with the other person.
5. Communication is important. If The BF and his Ex/Friend have a hard time communicating, and lets face it they probably do, you may be the link to help them because you speak both their languages. Embrace this and when necessary communicate without bias and emotion.
6. Be honest about your feelings..if someone hurts them tell them but remember to be kind about it.
7. Don't be afraid to call them on their bad choices...always do so in a loving and kind matter but remind them they are acting like idiots. I do this often.
8. Tell them no. Because you are The Friend and The Girlfriend they may conspire together to get you to do something you don't want to do, like taking the gets trick or treating. Feel free to say no thank you I will stay home where its nice and warm and hand out candy. 
9. Be leery of the nay sayers. Your relationship will be under a spot light and people are waiting for the "blow up" especially between you and the Ex/Friend. Just smile and know that this type of relationship is not for everyone and not everyone will understand.
10. The most important rule is to have a sense of humor. Lets be honest it is a funny bizarre situation and if you cant stop and laugh at yourself and the situation Then its not going to work.

I think these rules may apply in most relationships.

Thankful Thursday - The Money List

Today is Thursday and I am making another Thankful Thursday list. 

If you have read my blog you know my lists are sometimes...interesting. Yes I am thankful for my family, my house, having a wonderful job....blah blah blah but I am also thankful for the more mundane things. I am a big believer in being thankful for all the little things in your life. I think those are the things that get you up and going every day.

So today I am making a list of things that save me from myself.

• I am thankful Starbucks is far from my house and way out of my way. If Starbucks was closer I would stop by every day on my way to work. And although I think this is a wonderful idea my budget sees Starbucks as a treat rather than a daily thing.
• I am thankful that we have a T.J. Maxx in my area so I can be a maxinista and wear very cute clothes at very affordable prices.
• I am thankful that I have rather small feet. This allows me to shop in the kids section for some types of shoes..which saves me a lot of money.
• I am thankful that I have a library that I can borrow books from but also one that allows me to borrow ebooks and buys books I ask them to buy. Again saving me lots and lots of money.

There is my list of the week.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday

Yesterday I went to an Ash Wednesday service on my lunch break. Its been awhile since I have done that and I must admit it afterwards I felt very peaceful and inspired.

And last night whenever I would notice the ashes on my forehead I would become reflective and thankful for all the blessings in my life. And because its Thursday I am going to share my list of thinks I am thankful for.

• My Family: While they may make me crazy and more than once cry, they are always there to fight and laugh with me. Besides who else can you be mad at for something that happened 20 years ago *wink wink*.
• The BF: Neither one of us is perfect and when we are having a bad day watch the fireworks explode...on our good days we are amazingly in sync and there is no stopping us. Thank goodness the good days are much much more often then the bad.
• My Co-Workers/Friends: I am lucky enough to work in the most amazing place and can honestly say that my co-workers are also my good friends. Where else could I have such a dark sense of humor, think Tim Burton, and everyone else does also.
• My Extend Family: I have a large extend family and I know the name of all my cousins and the name of all their kids. We cant all get together as often as we need to but I know they will help out when ever they can.
• The Ex-Wife and "Pseudo" Step-Kids: I know that my relationship with The Ex-wife/Friend is very unique and not everyone can have the kind of relationship. I know our relationship is makes having a relationship with the pseudo step-kids easier...plus they are good kids.
• And last but not least An Innate Sense of Style: That's right I said it I am thankful for having a sense of style. I am not sure where I got it from (seriously ask my 9 year old niece, we are the only ones with style) but I look good and some days that what keeps me from going crazy. 

What are you Thankful for today?

5 Things That Happened to Me Yesterday

I don't even know where to begin with my day yesterday. It was by far the strangest day I have had in awhile. Just when I think its going to be boring it gets exciting and bizarre again.

So in chronological order

1. Spilled BBQ chicken in my car.
2. Lost my cell phone which turned out to be in plain sight.
3. Had a 3 year old hanging on my every word.
4. Witnessed a high speed police chase on my commute home.
5. The BF asked me to help him after he locked his keys in his truck.

On any given day 1 of these events are likely to happen (except The BF locking the keys in his car that's usually me) but 5 in the same day!!!!!! 

That has to be some kind of record for me.

I will expand on a few of these later but for now just know it was a freaking weird day!!!

Reasons Why I am Glad my Appendix Ruptured.

Some of you may know that my appendix ruptured last week and before I tell that tale I wanted to share 7 reasons I'm glad my appendix ruptured.

1. For the first time in 20 years I didn't have to cook anything for Thanksgiving dinner. Or do anything but sit on the couch and have people bring me drinks.
2. I got to have lots of morphine and not worry about any kind of legal repercussions.
3. Really good excuse to watch daytime TV that I normally don't get to watch or will admit to watching.
4. I got flowers.
5. Two Words: Liquid diet
6. No house work for a week.
7. I lost 5lbs in 4 days.  

Nope Never Going to Happen

 Top 10 Reasons Kid Free Weekends Rock

Eating out without the kids!!!

1. Eating Out at someplace meant for adults.
2. Watching whatever inappropriate TV show you want any time you want (True Blood).
3. Not having to hear things like He hit me and She wont leave me alone.
4. Cooking dinner and no one complains about a single thing.
5. Nothing gets messed up.
6. The toilet seat is never peed on.
7. Quiet blissfully quiet.
8. Your time is your own and no one else's.
9. Sleeping in past 8:00AM
10. Walking around naked.

Don't get me wrong I adore the "pseudo"step-kids but a weekend without them is so relaxing.

Sorry mom but this list reinforces my decision to stay childless.

Maybe your other kids will give you more grandkids.

The Road Less Traveled by Me

Today I had to drive to a small town first thing in the morning for work. This is not all that new, I have to do that every Monday through Friday since I moved in with The BF but today I had to drive to a different small town. So instead of driving through the treacherous canyon I was driving through the dangerous wetlands.

Okay so the road is not all that dangerous but when I started on my super early commute the roads were wet and the snow was starting to fall again. And after 6 car wrecks I am a little bit nervous on roads I don't drive on often. In fact I am more at home driving in the city then I am on remote country roads.

With all that in mind I would like to share some of the random thoughts on my drive:

1. OMG....if I lose control of my car and end up in the water it could be hours before anyone notices the top of my little red car.
2. Why are their no guard rails? That is a river someone is going to end up in it.
3. How deep is that water? It looks deep.
4. If that's the Little Bear River where is the Big Bear River?
5. Oh wait that would be The Bear River...I wonder where that is? I think that is something I should know.
6. What are those people doing over their in that boat? Its cold and snowing!!! I bet its duck hunting season
7. Is duck good? Does it taste like chicken?
8. Why is this car going so slow the road is not that dangerous...some of us have to be somewhere.
9. Oh crap I am spending at that's a cop behind me....I hope he didn't notice.
10. I am really in need of about 2 more cups of coffee.

Luckily the cop didn't pull me over. I was only going 5MPH over the speed limit.

I also made it to my destination without incident.

Some days I worry that I may need some extensive therapy...today is one of those days.

5 Things that I Dont Like Doing.

In honor of my illness (and the fact that its taking all my energy to sit here) I would like to share with you a few things I don't like to do.

1. Making the Bed: This is not to be confused with changing the bedding once a week this is the daily chore of making the bed. I never really understood the point of making it daily.  Is it juvenile to say you are just going to mess it up when you go back to bed?
2. Unloading the Dishwasher: I have no idea why I hate this chore I would actually prefer to load the dishwater then unload it.
3. Laundry: I hate doing laundry and in my younger years would actually go by new clothes just to avoid doing laundry. Its probably the reason I never had any money.
4. Putting Laundry Away: On the rare occasion that I do laundry I detest putting clothes away. I usually just leave the clothes in the basket until I wear them or until I do laundry again.
5. Ironing: I HATE ironing. I don't see the point. So what if I am wrinkled as long as the wrinkles are on my clothes and not my face I don't care.

7 Things that Happened this Weekend

1. I got a new smart phone and I love it. I can now blog from my phone YEA!!!
2. I drove all the way to a small town in Idaho to see my dad.
3. I sat in a very small and dull bar in this small town...I had 1 beer, one Jell-o shot, a snickers bar and 3 cokes. I hate Jell-O.
4. To get me out of bed on Saturday The BF bribed me with breakfast at a local diner...greasy breakfast food is yummy.
5. The BF bought me a screen protector and case for my phone. I wanted to wait a week. He knew better. I have dropped my phone 3 times already.
6. I downloaded Angry Birds to my new phone...yup I caved and I am addicted also.
7. I baked 4 loaves of zucchini bread and 24 zucchini muffins. I am already sick of zucchini. I need to look up new and fun ways to cook it.

10 Fun Facts About a Girl Named Michael

1. I think Zombies are cool.
2. My feet are the same size as of my 8 year old niece.
3. I laugh loud and often....the full body laugh you either love or hate.
4. I can tie a double windsor knot
5. I once had aresnic poisoning
6. I am a psedo step-mother
7. I hated the movie Forest Gump.
8. I have been in 7 car crashes in my life.
9. I cut or burn myself 50% of the time I cook.
10. I make to do list but always lose the list.

Advice from Aunt Michael

This post is dedicated to my nieces and psedo-stepdaughter.

If you only learn a few things from me let these be some of the things.

1. The right shade of lip gloss turns a bad day into a good day.
2. When in doubt always add more hair spray.
3. Have at least 3 pairs of cheap stylish sunglasses.
4. This is Utah your hair can always be bigger.
5. Add a scarf. It will make you feel stylish no matter what type of day you are having.

If Only I Could Than I Probably Would

This last week as I have made my 30 minute commute through the canyon, I have noticed that my minds begins to wonder. Not in the dangerous I am not paying attention on this highly dangerous road kid of way. More like what would I do if no one was around to say that it is socially unacceptable.

If I could I would do the following things:

1. Say the F**k word.
2. Eat caramel ice cream topping straight from the jar.
3. Drink milk from the carton/jug.
4. Not eat vegetables for a week.
5. Own jewelry with a skulls on it.
6. Flip my mom and sisters the finger.
7. Sing loud and off key when the mood strikes me.
8. Eat cookies for dinner.
9. Not do laundry for a month.
10. Have all naked weekends.

Then I realized that I have done some of those things and I only follow social norms when it suits my purpose. I can do what I want and ususally do. So does anyone know what kind of wine you serve with s'mores?*

Now what would you do?

*Please don't blame my mom she really did try.

Little Things that Work

Yesterday was not my day. By the time I made it home I was grumpy, tired and fed up with everyone and everything.

What went wrong:

• Slept late
• Broke my flat iron
• Dogs would not obey
• Cat was hiding
• Kids were slow
• Out of coffee
• Forgot to put dinner in the crock-pot
• Pulled over for speeding
• Bad allergies
• Had a headache

What went right:

• Police Officer gave me a warning instead of a ticket
• Ran into a co-worker in the liquor store
• Laughed with co-worker in liquor store
• Wine with dinner

It always amazes me that no matter how bad your day is a few little things make it a good day.

Oh What to Wear

Today started off as an other Wednesday does. Baylei and I getting ready as usual. She told me she didn't want to go to school...I told her I don't want to go t work. What we mean is we don't want to get up.

We did our hair, Baylei got dressed, I put on make-up, Baylei took the dogs out, I got dressed. And as we are heading out the door I got the feelings something wasn't right. I had forgotten to do something important.

So I stood in the kitchen going over everything.

• Gave Baylei her medicine. Check.
• Feed the dogs. Check.
• Put Bosco in the kennel. Check.
• Brushed teeth. Check.
• Contacts in. Check.

Then it dawns on me what I forgot. I'm not wearing any underwear!!!!! Seriously I was so busy and so distracted that I forgot to put on underwear.

I think its time for a vacation.

I Performed the Heimlich Maneuver on a Dog!!!

Last night I performed the Heimlich maneuver on my sisters 100lbs black lab Bosco. I am not sure how I knew how to perform this life saving maneuver on a dog but I did. It’s most likely the fact that I am required by the State of Utah to be certified in CPR and First Aid to do my job. And that every year for the last 3 years I have gone through the training. And its not even the first time I have used these life saving techniques.

About a year ago I performed CPR (just the chest compressions cause mouth to mouth is gross) on my neighbor when he went into heart failure. I know, I know I am amazing don’t you wish you lived next door to me just in case. Of course this neighbor’s son was also running a meth lab out of the house and it has now been condemned and I have moved. And some nights I wake up in a cold sweat thinking I was in a meth house and I am going to die from some rare form of cancer now. So if you lived next door to me I would probably let you die and now your glad you aren’t my neighbor.




Bosco!!!!



So last night I am in my room talking to The BF on the phone when my sister yelled at me to come to her room. My casual in a minute was answered with a now and hurry. So I went in her room and she said something is wrong with Bosco. I looked at him on the floor and it was obvious he was in some form of distress. At first I thought he just could not stand after all he weighs 100lbs and has bad knees but it quickly became apparent that was not his problem.

I get down on the floor and start talking to him. Unfortunately he has not mastered the art of conversation and he started to drool profusely and was struggling to breath. I started to panic but was trying to be calm because my very tough brave sister was already panicking and my 8 year old niece was getting more and more upset. At this point poor Bosco is really fighting to breathe, my sister is now on the floor with me trying to call the vet, and my niece was ordered out of the room so she wouldn’t have to see her pet die.

I would like to take a moment to share the very rapid thoughts that went through my head at this time:

1. STAY CALM!!!!
2. Dont panic.
3. There is no way we are getting this dog to the vet in time before he dies.
4. How are we going to carry him down the stairs and into the car.
5. Seriously STAY FREAKING CALM!!!!
6. THINK OF SOMETHING TO DO!!!
7. You big dumb dog this is what happens when you get in the garbage.
8. PLEAE DONT DIE!!!
9. Its going to be a pain to bury him in the back yard.
10. We are going to have to dig one BIG hole.

By this time Bosco had rolled over on his side and his eyes where rolling back into his head and I decided he was chocking on something so I did what any other person would do…. I stood over Bosco with one leg on each side of his massive body, picked up the upper half of his body, guessed about where to place my hands, then pushed in and up just like I would on a person. I did this 3 times then checked his breathing. He appeared to still be struggling so I picked him up and did it 3 more times. Finally poor dumb Bosco started breathing and after a few minutes he was up walking around.

This whole scenario only took a few minutes but it was long enough to scare all of us straight. Bosco, who ignores me normally when my sister is home, spend part of the night sleeping on my bedroom floor. I think this is his way of saying "Dude thanks". Of course this is what I need in my life....another 100lbs dog following me every where I go.