Rules for Menu Weekly Planning

The other day my sister asked how I menu planned. I always have a plan and don't stress the nightly question...what's for dinner?

I try and menu plan a week in advance but have recently challenged myself to do 2 weeks at a time.  I have a hard time shopping for two weeks, I always end up going back to the store for something I forgot, today I forgot the frozen spinach. It was on my list and everything. I have considered planning the menu then shopping for the first week one day and the next week another day but I really want to just go to the store once for the two weeks. I am working on it.

I believe its important to keep dinner simple but yummy not just for your self but to get the kids to eat. I have a couple rules I try and follow to keep my cost down and to make it easier for me and everyone involved. It doesn't matter if it's for 1 week or 2 these rules work for us.

I didn't just wake up one day and immediately had a plan that worked for my family. I had to experiment and and tried different things until I found what works for us best. These rules may not work for your family but hopefully it will give you a place to start when developing your own plan.

The Rules

1. Once a week we have a vegetarian meal - The Fiancee (formerly The BF) is not always a fan of this night but is a good sport and eats whatever I prepare.
2. At least one crockpot night - sometimes we have three or 4 of them but I love my crockpots.
3. One new recipe - sometimes no one likes the new recipe but we tried it.
4. Tuesday's are the night the "pseudo" step-son cooks so that is kid friendly easy dinner night 
5. One family favorite - yummy dinner night; taco soup, hamburger soup, spaghetti, tomato soup, taco 
6. One pot meal - I like to do this a couple nights a week.

So those are the rules I use to decide whats for dinner but where do I get the recipes. Like a lot of people I get them from my pinterst board but before I start looking for recipes I go through the pantry and freezer to see what I have on hand. I try to stock up on sale items we use a lot and I never buy meat unless its on sale.

After I figure out what I have I then find recipes from pinterst, cookbooks, websites or the ones I just know because I have been cooking them for 15 years.

The Menu

• Monday: Corn Chowder (rule 1)
• Tuesday: Pineapple Chicken and Rice, Vegetables (rule 4)
• Wednesday: Creamy Ranch Pork Chops, Potatoes, Carrots (rule 5)
• Thursday: Hamburger Stew (rule 2)
• Friday: Turkey Stir Fry and Rice (rule 3)
• Saturday: Tacos, Chips (rule 2)
• Sunday: Turkey Noodle Soup (rule 6)
• Monday: Meatball Sliders, Vegetables (rule 3)
• Tuesday: Pigs in a Blanket, Mac n' Cheese, Beans (rule 4)
  
• Wednesday: Enchiladas, Rice, Vegetables (rule 5)
• Thursday: Italian "Wonderpot" (rule 1)
• Friday: Tomato Soup, Grilled Cheese (rule 2)
• Saturday: Quesdillas (rule 6)
• Sunday: Sub Sandwiches (we are actually eating out this night)

That is what we are having for dinner for the next two weeks. 

Bonus Tip: Be flexible if you are having one of those days were you want to run screaming into the night...pick up pizza on your way home. You can always have that nights dinner the following week.

A Conversation Between Two Sister

Last night while I was lost in thought and contemplating all the mysteries of the universe, my Health Nut Sister and I had the following text conversation.

• Health Nut Sister: I want u to know your hug was suspicious earlier
• Me: Are you fucking serious? I was trying to be nice you seemed stressed.
• Health Nut Sister: I'm always stressed.
• Me: I thought you needed support and I was trying to give you some of my strength and Zen through physical touch...apparently I need to work on my transference.
• Me: I am blogging about this
• Health Nut Sister: U never usually hug me just to hug. It almost seemed like a hug of an apology like u were apologizing for a future incident.
• Me: I have no plans to do anything bad to you...I was trying to be supportive.
• Me: My feelings are seriously hurt.
• Health Nut Sister: I didn't think u would do anything bad persay more something that u would make me do for my own good kind of big sister thing.
• Health Nut Sister: I was not meaning to hurt more investigating.

Yes that is right I was accused of giving a suspicious hug because that is how we roll in my family.

Okay okay in my sisters defense I do make her do things that I believe are good for her but its only because I am right and she should really listen to me more often. 

And she pulls the little sister card out all the time. Today she wanted to come to the office and update her resume, she shows ups and hands me a hair tie and asked me to french braid her hair. My sister is 33 and I am still french braiding her hair even though she knows how to french braid. 

You boss siblings around, give suspicious hugs and you french braid hair even when you are both grown up and have families with kid.

You may notice that I never blog about conversation I have with the little sister...that is because she often doesn't answer my texts and she wants approval of all posts about her....she cracks me up. Everyone knows all is fair in war and blogging. 

Does Everyone Love Raymond?

I am a big believer in family. Family is important. But can you have to much family? Does having overly involved family cause problems in your relationship?

I believe it does. Don't misunderstand me I love my family, I love them a lot but that doesn't mean that I want them involved in my every day home life.  I think some things are best kept between a couple...and not just the sex stuff.

You see every couple fights and in a "normal" relationship those fights can be really stupid. Eventually you will forgive your partner but when you get your family involved they don't forgive as easily. They remember the time when your partner said something stupid and upset you, and they may inadvertently undermine your relationship. At the end of the day (or few days) you and your partner move on and your family doesn't.

There should be distance between parents and kids once they are married and start their own family. Your priority is no longer your parents or siblings but your partner ans the life you have together. You should not live across the street from your parents or siblings, my advice is move to another city or at least across town.

Keeping your relationship between the two of you becomes harder and harder when the in-laws can see everything that is happening in your living room from their front window.  Imagine the text messages, phone calls, and well meaning relatives all the sudden in your business; giving advice, getting involved and worst of all picking sides.  Even biblical teaching tell you to leave your fathers house and cleave to your partner (seriously it is mentioned 3 times).

It might sound fun and convenience to have grandparents and aunts/uncles living next door or across the street but the constant involvement in your life will cause nothing but stress and strive. I know sometimes family helps by babysitting and picking kids up from school and oh yeah the cousins can play together but all that can be done from different neighborhoods.

Respect the boundaries that a family has and keep a physical distance. Remember that show, Everyone Loves Raymond, it makes great TV but in reality it makes for a bad situation

None of this applies if your relationship is violent...if you are in a domestic violence situation please call the national hotline, 1-800-799-7233, to get help in your area.

To Trick or To Treat

The Ex-Wife/Friend and The BF are mad at the "pseudo" step-son. It's become quite hostile in our home and all because he decided not to go trick or treating this year and they will have 1 less lid to steal candy from.

I have learned since becoming a "pseudo" step-mom that one of the benefits of having kids is stealing their candy but they are being a little ridiculous.

I tried to explain that you can just go buy Halloween candy on November 1st for a fraction of the cost and you don't have to share it with the kids. But I guess they feel that if they have to take one kid trick or treating they should take both kids and get the maximum amount of candy.

The keep pestering him to go trick or treating...its a little comical how desperate they are about it. Any second now their will be an ultimatum, "go beg the neighbors for candy or else." They told him that if he doesn't go then no candy. I assured him he can have candy and to remember who is really in charge in our weird little family.

I feel like he is about to give in to their demands, I am supporting him 100% and I don't have an ulterior motive....okay maybe I do. This year I am making him hand out candy to the kids while I am playing on the internet. This new development is really working in my favor, so much so I am going to go buy him a bag of marked down candy tomorrow that he doesn't have to share.. I wouldn't want him to change his mind about trick or treating next year.

Forced Family Fun

We try to have a little family time every day at least for a few moments. It mostly happens at dinner time. We actually have some serious rules for dinner time.

1. No cell phones - mostly for The BF and I (okay mostly me)
2. No TV - for the  8 year old "pseudo" step-daughter
3. If you shovel your food down so you can get on the computer you will have to sit there until the very last person is done eating - for the 15 year old "pseudo" step-son 

We don't always have a lot to say and some times we can't stop talking but I think the important thing is we try.

In that vain we try to do family activities from time to time even if its just watching a movie together. This is not always an easy thing when you have such an age difference in kids (the 15 year old is a good sport and has watched several movies and participated in several activities that he really didn't want to with a pretty good attitude). Which is why the Ex-Wife/Friend started calling family time Forced Family Fun...it has caught on in my house. 

I can't ever decide if calling it forced family fun is good or bad but you can hear me say we are a family and we are going to have fun even if it kills us. I get a lot of eye rolls and giggles.

 

Back when the weather was warm we would all go for a walk with the dogs, on one of these walks I hung back to get a picture and I noticed that the "pseudo" step-son had ear buds in and was listening to his iPod. I did what any evil good "pseudo" step-mother would I caught up to him pulled them out oh his ears and whispered we are having family time I know you don't always like us but you will pretend to and you will enjoy it. 

I am pretty sure this was not the first time he had been listening to his iPod on our walks but I am know on to this little trick of being present but not really.

Did I do the right thing, maybe? Do I remember hating family time when I was 15...yes. I thought it was horrible and my family terrible uncool. I tried to be sensitive and he is welcome to hide in his room and ignore us often. Just not during Forced Family Fun time.

Being a teenager is so very hard.

3 Very Random Questions

Earlier this week I watched a TV show were 3 questions were asked of people (yes that's correct today's post is inspired by The Walking Dead). I decided to pose 3 questions to random friends/family. Some of the answers were informative and some were surprising. Mostly I was shocked how many people wanted to answer the questions.

Here are the questions:

1. If you were prime ruler of the world what laws would you make?
2. If you were a super hero what powers would you have?
3. Can you solve a rubix cube?

Morgan from Playing with Words: 

1. I'd make a law against GMOs, equality for all, no one could regulate a woman's body, preservation of earth's resources, no war and make leaders sit in a room to work it out, make all cars hybrid, and education for all children that'd focus on helping them discover & develop their talents and abilities.somehow fix the banking system and that's it I think. Oh & make it easier to adopt children so all children have a family.
2. Powers like the sisters on Charmed to help save innocents.
3. Nope, the rubix cube is a recipe for crazy making for me.

Lindsey from Dishwater Dreams:

1. I would legalize gay marriage. I would prohibit discrimination of any kind for any reason. I would take all funding given to prisons and give it to school and all funding for schools would have to work for running the prisons. Basically, I would work for equality and education.
2. Teleportation, the ability to control the weather (without global repercussions of course) and mind reading (selectively)
3. I can, but not gracefully.

Health Nut Sister from My Family

1. Change the stand your ground law.
2. Super Strength and the ability to run fast.
3. No!!!

Shannon from Her Cup Runs Over

1. Mandatory daily siestas (naps). 
2. I would fly and have the ability to disappear.
3. Nope, but I've seen it done in seconds! Seriously!

Mike from The Blog of Thog

1. I would make it possible for the police to issue fixed penalty tickets to people who were rude.  Did you push in front of someone in a queue?  That'll be £30! (Dollars are also acceptable)
2. I'd definitely be some kind of super genius.  Or a billionaire.  Or both.  Okay - I want to be Iron Man.  That's what I want to be.  I want to fly and zap stuff and be cool and have a goatee.
3. Only by removing the stickers and putting them in the right places!

Serena from Bewildered Bug

1. I probably would not pass a law unless it was figured out how to make government officials more accountable for their (legal and illegal) actions, and to increase the enforcement of current laws by an HONEST police force. Ooh ooh harsher punishments for rapists and child molesters - make them infertile because those people cannot be "reformed" and they don't deserve normal lives. Human rights be damned. Oh and to become a parent you have to have mandatory parenting course that lasts the entire time you are pregnant to help you learn to take care of the child, what your rights are as a parent and ethics. Once a week for nine months may be enough methinks. Institute the siesta system for three hours every week day so that you can go home and spend time with your family. Vote for meeeee!!!
2. Time travel so that I could go back and forth in time and help people realize what is truly important in their lives and help them prevent regrets. Ans the knowledge to know when that is appropriate/good to do.
3. Honestly? No - I've been able to get one side though!!!!! (Several times)

Baby Sister from My Family

1. I would abolish marriage as an institution (government has no business bein' all up in my love life, thankyouverymuch), and instead establish civil liberties for all, regardless of gender and sexual orientation. I would give all women and men rights to decide what to do with their reproductive system, and in turn I would also give all men and women 52 weeks of paid paternity/maternity leave. I would make the education system worldwide resemble Norway/Sweden/Denmark (free education, yo!). I would give all children a proper sex and financial education. I would ban all advertising. I would make solar and wind power a necessity. And finally, as a just and supreme ruler, I would abolish my own power, and instead give power back to the original countries that agree to abide by my new laws (Dictatorship is a bitch, dude). 
2. Flying
3. No

Arlette from Chasing Joy

1. If I ruled the world my first law would be to outlaw skinny jeans on men. I don't need to see all that!
2. If I was a super hero I would have the power of flight so I can go anywhere without being on a plan. I would also be able to remove the calories from any food just by looking at it.
3. Nope I have never been able to solve a rubix cube.

Julie from Julie Unplugged

1. 1. People will be expected to wave and/or smile at people as they pass 2. Collaboration and Cooperation is expected. 3. Teach a trade to those who find themselves in negative situations. Partner those people with successful people who will help them find a way. 4. A moment of silence for meditation, prayer, intention setting or sharing physical affection will be recognized daily at Noon, in every time zone. Stop, Drop and BEEEE. 5. All citizens will be able (and encouraged) to take Laughter Yoga or Improvisation or Intuitive Painting classes. 6. Conscious discussions will take place of bickering. 7. Share love as much as each person is able.
2. SUPERHERO power - The power to heal, forgive and remember consciously AND to teach others the same. 
3. RUBIXCUBE? Did I even spell it right? Heck NO!!! 

How would you answer the questions? Better yet what questions would you ask?

My Eulogy

If I was to write my own eulogy it would probably go something like this...

A Girl Named Michael died tragically today in a freak accident, she was crushed by a bookshelf that she had overloaded with books.

Michael was born in a small Idaho town, for 18 months her life was perfect and then her parents brought home one of several siblings. She then spent the rest of her life bossing her siblings, parents, coworkers and random strangers around. She could often be heard saying, "I told you I was right."

For years she lived an unsettled slightly vagabond life never really satisfied with what was going on, until she moved back to her small town. She loved being close to her nieces and nephews so much she decided that living in the small town was acceptable.

She meet her life partner The BF through his ex-wife, she could often be heard giggling about having the best how we meet story in the world. She took great pains trying to be a good and off beat "pseudo" step-mom...she really succeeded in the off beat part, the good part is subjective.

She is survived by her beloved dog Tashi, cat Tigger and a bunch of family. Actually a lot of family, more family then one girl should have and it would take to long to mention them all. But she loved them almost as much as the dog and cat.

She leaves behind a closet full of unfinished projects, more scarves then one person should own and a legacy of klutziness.

The Step-Parent Trap

In case you don't know this about me I have two pseudo step-kids, a 15 year old "step-son" and 8 year old "step-daughter". And my step-daughter may have just seen me naked. In fact I am pretty sure she DID SEE ME NAKED!!!!!

Before I continue my tale there are a few things more you should know about me.

1. When the pseudo step-kids are not here I have no problem walking around naked or in my underwear. I am completely comfortable that way. (I know TMI but you need to know). When they are here I am always covered appropriately. 
2. I am always trying to get The BF not to bother me while in the shower (he likes to to talk to me then).
3. We have an opaque shower curtain...its not clear but you can see through it.
4. And the "pseudo" step-daughter has a purple hippo that is filled with lavender scented rice that she likes to heat up and cuddle with when she isn't feeling well...right now she has a cold.

Tonight as I was taking a shower, someone politely knocked on the bathroom door, I thought oh my gosh finally The BF is knocking before walking into the bathroom. When I responded to the knock the "pseudo" step-daughter walked into the bathroom and decided to ask me how to heat up her hippo in the microwave. We had a brief exchange and she left. 

In the mean time I was freaking out. Despite being comfortable being naked I am completely freaked out by this incident.

During the exchange I just keep thinking OMG I am naked and I know she can see me.

I briefly thought about yelling at her to get out but I didn't want to upset her, she just wanted her hippo to cuddle.  To her I wasn't a naked woman, I was the mom like person who could help her who just happened to be in the shower when she needed help.  

The Ex-Wife/Friend has assured me she does it all the time to her and I know that when you are mom you are never left alone but there is a fine line when you are a step-parent, "pseudo" or not. I am always aware of that line but I don't want the kids to be nervous in their home or worried they cant talk to me about things. And when you live with people, especially kids, doors will be opened and conversations will occur with only an opaque sheet of plastic between you. But what is okay?

Obviously this was not intended naked and I will be locking the bathroom door from this moment forward but what is okay with "pseudo" step-kids? Did I handle the situation okay? Should I have talked to her about it or just move on?

She appears to be okay and I don't think it really occurred to her I didn't have any clothes and all worries don't really matter. But I do worry that I am doing it all right.

Welcome to being a step-parent.

Family Photos...Am I Making This to Hard

This spring I am finally getting family pictures done. And I am being a little crazy about it. 

I don't want some stuffy formal picture because that is just not us. While the "pseudo" stepdaughter and I are very fashion forward we are all casual and to be honest a little goofy. So trying to figure out posses and location that fit us is not as easy as it should be. 

My photographer (my friend who takes awesome pictures) is very familiar with location in my home town (where I work) that are great but we live in in the town on the other side of the mountain. So where do we take the pictures.

Me, Tashi and Thomas the fish.

Then there are the outfits I briefly thought I will let everyone pick out their own clothes but immediately nixed that because they dont read fashion magazines. I want them to be casual but stylish and they also need to embrace individual personalities but still work together. So do we do a color theme...I cant imagine "pseudo" stepson or The BF wearing a lot of color. I was thinking a a more neutral scheme like black and gray with "pseudo" stepdaughter and I wearing a pop of color but I don't want to "out shine" the guys...they are important members of the family. 

Of course now I am wondering do we include the animals?

This was easier when it was just me, Tashi and the fish Thomas. Which was the last family picture I had taken. which was 9.5 years ago. I had a friend come over and we had our "photo shoot" in my living room...we took over 30 pictures. We even had to change the film (do you remember film?). Its possible there was alcohol involved, there often was in those days. I can't remember why i decided to have the picture taken I am pretty sure I was being a smart ass but no one realized it and they all wanted a picture. Most of my relatives have this picture some where in their house...or they use to anyway. One of my now 10 year old nieces then 2 year old niece use to point at it and say Tashi...she still likes the dog more than me.

Wish me luck and maybe pray that The BF doesnt leave me after all this.

Don't Bother Me I Am Watching TV

Last week I did something shocking...okay not shocking so much but I think I am regretting this discussion.  I upgraded our cable. It may not seem like that big of a deal but apparently in my house its a life changer. I know this because I haven't read a book or written anything since I did it. And its not just me more than ever the "pseudo" step-kids can not be pulled away from the boob tube. The only one that hasn't really changed is The BF.

Its not like this is the first time I have had a lot of cable channels but for some reason I have zoned out the world and am obsessed with watching every show that I have not seen. Seriously I watched 5 episodes of Duck Dynasty. Have you seen this show? I am not sure why I kept watching but I did.

I am not all that shocked by my actions, after all I am a product of my generation and grew up watching TV (yes I am it blaming all on being a so called Gen Xer). And I don't mean just watching prime time TV with the family...we always had the TV on at my house. We watched in the morning before school, after school, at dinner time and all the way up until bed time.

When I moved out there were times when I would have TV and times when I wouldn't. Some times I would be so disgusted with the shows that were on I would boycott and not watch TV for weeks or months at a time. Other times I would be constantly watching. But during those time I was always writing and always reading.

Often you would find me in a room reading and the TV would be on in a different room. I like the background noise....I find it oddly comforting. Its probably that always having it on growing up (again blaming it on my environment, my mom would be so annoyed with me).

I have decided to enforce a new policy at home we will have now one hour of no electronics. I am positive this will be received with open arms by everyone in the family.

Do you have rules in your family about TV viewing?

I Just Love Him so Much

Okay so its been awhile since I have blogged.

Life got a little busy and I decided to take a brief brake from the blogsphere.  The good news I am back and have lots to share including recipes and all sorts of fun adventures including what happened to me on black Friday and why The BF is my hero.

But to start I want to share the exciting family news....my new nephew Skyson. Yup I am an aunt again. It really is the best role I play.

Skyson was born 11/28/2012. He is 7lbs 14oz and is 19.5 inches long.

Did you notice the red hair???? Yup we proudly have another red head in the family. I think they are occurring more often them they use to in my family unlike the rest of the world.

I haven't met Skyson yet...I have been fighting a cold (another reason for my long absence).

 I hope he calls me Aunt Michael....I love being called Aunt Michael.

Yes Mom I will Shoot You in the Head

Awhile back I promised to shoot my mom in the head when the time came. Yes that right I agreed to kill my mom by shooting her in the head. And the members of my family that know about this are okay with it..of course only my 10 year old niece knows I am going to shot grandma.

Before you all start calling my local law enforcement, let me explain the story.

A few months ago my mom texted me asking how to kill zombies. Serious this was the text, she wanted to know how to successfully kill zombies. I told her the best way was to shoot them in the head that way you are not to close to risk getting bit and infected and it still stops them in their tracks.

Cute car bad zombie killer!

She then asked so hitting them with a car wouldn't really work would it? As I thought about the possibility of running over a zombie in my Aveo, I started to wonder why my mother is asking me these questions. Is the Zombie Apocalypse at hand? Did I miss it? Should I pack up the family and head for the hills? I told my mom that unless you were severing the brain stem from the spinal cord it would just slow them down not kill them. And then asked why she needed to know this info.

She explained that she was visiting my Aunt and one of my cousins was playing a video game and was driving around in a car killing zombies and she was trying to explain to everyone that that would not really kill zombies. (This is a real conversation...I seriously couldn't make this up. I am not that creative.)

I find this image at cartoon-icio.ru

Being a smarty pants I told my mom its to bad I really like my Aunt and her family but they will not survive the Zombie Apocalypse. At this point my mom asked if I would take her with me when it happens. As I thought about it I told her yes but if she slows me down I am leaving her behind. My mom agreed to this with one condition...I shoot her in the head so she doesn't become a zombie when I leave her behind. I agreed to this condition rather quickly.

I figured it would be an acceptable action under the circumstances and with the zombies around every corner who is going to worry about me shooting my mom.

A few weeks back my 10 year old niece got in on the conversation...I cant remember everything that was said but she agreed that shooting grandma in the head was a reasonable plan.

And that is how I agreed to shoot my mom in the head when the time is right.

After telling The BF this story he asked what about him...I told him I wouldn't shoot him I would keep him as a zombie chained up in the shed like on Shaun of the Dead. This seemed to upset him for some reason. I am not sure why.

I Am Not Eating That

I rarely eat dinner on Wednesday nights.

That is not completely true...I eat dinner just not usually at home.

I use to eat dinner with my family every night and try to engage in conversation about everyone's day. The rule was we had to eat dinner together and no TV or cell phones (the last one is really hard for me).

This weeks menu

But about 2 months ago I started skipping Wednesday night dinners...here is what happened.

2 months ago I decided we need a weekly menu. And this was one of my better ideas for the following reasons.

1. The BF and I no longer fight about who is cooking dinner.
2. There is no longer any scrambling on whats for dinner.
3. By planning ahead I can introduce new recipes to my family.
4. Once a week grocery shopping.

Its truly wonderful.

Except for one little part...in my infinite wisdom I decided that it would be good for the 14 year old "pseudo" step-son should plan and prepare dinner on Wednesday night.

Do you see where I am going with this?

"Pseudo" step-son

"Some times he gets ambitious and goes all out but mostly we get hot dogs and mac n' cheese or hamburger helper. I hate hot dogs and hamburger helper. I like mac n' cheese unless its that box stuff then yuk.

I am sure I ate them when I was a kid but I am an adult and choose not to eat them whenever possible.

So now on Wednesday's instead of eating with my family I grab dinner on my commute home and then tell the family I had a big lunch and I am not hungry...I know this is wrong but I just cant seem to help myself.

Maybe I need to get him a cookbook for Christmas.

Experiments in the Kitchen

Recently I have been doing a lot of stuff in the kitchen. Some cooking, a little baking, some preparing and always lots of eating.

My family pretending I'm not taking their picture

I am not sure why I am all the sudden a kitchen maven or what has spurred me to make homemade anything but that's what I am doing.

Maybe its the rising cost of food.

Maybe its the chemicals in food.

Maybe the pod people have finally taken over.

So this week and this week only I will be sharing the ups, downs, joys and pains of my recent explorations in the kitchen. (Okay I might do it again when I get the urge to create but who knows when I will get this industrious again).

I hope you will join me by sharing your recipes.

Recipes already on A Girl Named Michael

Hard Tack Candy

Christmas Treats

White Chicken Chili

Cookies and Cocktails

Crockpot Chicken Enchilada Soup

Lazy Gingersnaps

Pineapple Zucchini Muffins

Nonfood Recipes

Easy Sugar Scrub

Cough and Sore Throat Remedy

These Boots are Made for Walking

Aunt Michael impression

Have I mentioned that I have 3 adorable nieces?

I know that I have on several occasions.

One of my nieces has a bit of a shoe obsession...not sure where she gets it but my sister claims that its all my fault.

My sister is probably right.

So it makes perfect sense to me that after I bought some new shoes I would text my niece. After all she would appreciate it the most and I wanted to show them off/brag about them.

• Me: Check out my birthday shoes.
• Niece: Im going to steal your boots
• Me: Good luck with that....they are a size six
• Niece: I can still wear them
• Me: You have to be able to get them off my feet and thats not going to happen baby girl
• Niece: yes it is
• Me: You are sooooo cute but those are my boots
• Niece: No they are going to be mine
• Me: Baby girl you are not mean enough to take my boots off my feet
• Niece: gyfhd bcyfhhfjojhggi jfjjd jfhhhfih (this is her version of swearing)
• Me: Im just trying on my new boots
• Niece: Buttface
• Me: Buttface? Really you should be nicer to me or ill give your bday present to someone else
• Niece: what no.

This morning I got up early just so I could catch her before school to show off/brag about my new boots that I am wearing today.

Imagine my disappointment when I missed her.

Serious I got up an hour early just to show off my new boots to my 10 year old niece.

My Health Nut Sister has said on more than one occasion her children, especially the older one, is more like me than her.

I have often said I fear having children in case they turn out more like my sister then me.

After all I am awesome, cool and according to my niece the only one with style in our family besides her of course.

In Memory of My Grandma Ellen

In one area of my life I have been very blessed.

At the time of my birth not only were all my grandparents alive but so where most of my great grandparents. Add in on one side I was the first grandchild and on the other I was the first granddaughter (my cousin Todd beat me being the first grandchild by 10 days) I was very spoiled and always knew I was much loved. 

Then when my parents divorced and remarried I was again blessed to have wonderful step-parents and step-grandparents (not to mention step-cousins, step-aunts, step-uncles...etc). 

I imagine its not easy being a step-grandparent. You miss out on those early bonding years and what you get is a moody 13 year old with a loud laugh, a definite attitude and who spent more time with her nose in a book and headphones on her ears than talking to you. Or that's what one of my step-grandparents got. 

But not once did they ever make me feel left out or not part of the family.

Grandpa died back when I was in college...Grandma died two days ago.

And I want to share one of my favorite moments with my Grandma. The one that made me realize as a moody teenager that I was a part of her family.

Back when I was in high school (lets not talk about how many years ago) I decided my senior year to take a cooking class to get an easy A. One day the teacher decided to teach to make Native American Fry Bread (although we called it Indian Fry Bread). I was excited. My grandma made amazing Fry Bread and I thought if I learn the basics maybe she will teach me to make it as well as she does. 

To this day I have no idea what the teacher was making but it was NOT Fry Bread. Since I was an outspoken snotty teenager I made a point of informing the teacher it was not Fry Bread. And while I don't remember the exact conversation it went something like this:

• Me: That's not Fry Bread
• Teacher: Yes it is
• Me: No it is not (I am pretty sure I said this in the most snotty way possible) 
• Teacher: This how you make it.
• Me: My grandma is Native American from the Southern Ute tribe and she makes Fry Bread all the time and that is not how you make it. 
• Teacher No your not

I can't remember what happened after that but the result was me going home and telling my mother my teacher is stupid and while I think my mom was more upset about my teacher not believing me. In the teachers defense I was blonder and whiter than then I am now and that is pretty blonde and white.

My mom informed my grandma about what happened and my grandma volunteered to go to the school and introduce herself to my teacher as my grandma and to teach her to make real Fry Bread. 

Being a cool teenager I declined the offer but when Grandma insisted on teaching me how to make Fry Bread I let her. 

Since her death I have been searching for the recipe and trying to remember all the tips that she taught my like how you can tell if your grease is hot enough. I haven't made it in years but I have no doubt after a few attempts I will remember all she taught me.

After she offered to have a showdown at the high school I started to feel like I belonged to her family...that and we shared a birthday.

I am so glad that she was part of my life. 

8th or 12th Grade Words?

The last few days I have been glued to my TV. I don't allow any talking or interruptions. I am not alone in this a number of my family members are doing the same thing...but who wouldn't when its the Olympics.

And I am not going to talk about the medals or competition or any scandals...I am of course going to talk about a funny conversation I had with my 9 (although she is already telling everyone 10) year old niece.

My niece likes to text me...often. She doesn't have her own phone yet so she often texts me from my mom or Health Nut Sisters' phone.

It all started while we were watching the men's gymnastic team qualifiers.

(This conversation took place on my mom's phone)

• 9 Year Old Niece: Michael it is Baylei it is not good looking to have hairy arm pits when im old enough to have a boyfriend i will not date a hairy arm pit guy no no
• Me: Baylei thats discrimination.
•  9 Year Old Niece: I speak 4th grade not 8th grade what does that word mean
• Me: The unjust prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things
• 9 Year Old Niece: I told you I speak 4th grade you are speaking 12th grade grandma knows what is means but she can not explain it to me.
• Me:  Okay lets try this....the way I used the word basically means you don't like someone because of how they look
• 9 Year Old Niece: You could have said that before

Then last night while we were watching the Men's Team Gymnastic Finals.

(This time from her mom/Health Nut Sister's phone)

• 9 Year Old Niece: Michael it is Bay are you watching the olympics
•  Me: Yes I am...are you?
• 9 Year Old Niece: Yes it was funny when they showed the guys performance in slow motion when he grabbed the bar his arms jiggled.
• Me: LOL...yes they did. I thought of you when they showed the hairy arm pits.
• 9 Year Old Niece:  Just because I said that they have hairy arm pits does not mean that I do not like them
• Me: I know I was teasing you...I thought about how you told me I used 8th and 12th grade words.
• 9 Year Old Niece: Well you did just saying
• Me: Well I think you know more than just 4th grade words. You are really smart.
• 9 Year Old Niece:  I know 3rd, 2nd, 1st and kindergarten
• Me: I bet you know 5th 6th and 7th...you just dont know you know
• 9 Year Old Niece:  I do not know
• Me: Yes you do....you're smart 
• 9 Year Old Niece: Okay whatever you say
• Me: Dont patronize me
• 9 Year Old Niece:  What does that word with the p at the front mean
• Me: To treat with kindness but really feel superior
• Me:  Thats the best definition I could think of that wasnt a 12th grade definition
• 9 Year Old Niece: Sweet
• 9 Year Old Niece: Good job

I have conversations like this all time with my niece. I am not sure if I am aiding her education or hindering it...I am not sure I care.

Three of a Kind, Working on a Full House

As you may have heard I broke my wrist, (in case you haven't heard you can check out my story here), but in my family one brake is never the end of the story. We like to do everything in threes.

My sister and her removable brace. I hate her.

You see in an attempt to be just like me my sister, The Health Nut, broke her wrist also. She has a much better story than I do (I need to stop admitting what happened and come up with a better story).

Honestly we don't know for sure it is broke her had was very swollen and the ER doctor wants her to see a orthopedic doctor to be sure but there is a really good chance its broken. Same wrist different bone.

And now my mom has just informed me that one of my nieces fell and broke her right wrist.

I don't know all the details about her fall but its obvious she is related by blood and a complete lack of grace.

Poor thing.

I wonder who is next?

Why Can't Stylish be a Virtue?

Earlier this month I talked about not being patient at home especially with The BF. I have being trying each day not to lose my temper and remain calm. I don't know how well I am doing in The BF's and my family's point of view...I think I am failing miserably

I really wish things I am good at and come easily were virtues...I know nothing worth having comes easy but it would be nice if at least one came easy to me.

• Chasity:  I am living with The BF and don't refrain from intoxicants. Although I do believe in cleanliness of self.
• Temperance: HAHAHAHAHA...self control and me. That's funny!! HAHAHAHA!!!
• Charity: I believe in charity but I have been very bad and lazy about it in the last years!!!
• Diligence: I am lazy. I do things only because I have to and I procrastination a lot...A LOT!!!!
• Patience: We already know how well I do this one.
• Kindness: This I am good at....at least I think I am a kind and empathetic with resentment or bias
• Humility: I give respect but I am not modest nor am I selfless.

I just realized this road is going to be harder than I thought...now is when I usually give up and run away.

Oh wait I just want to be more patient with my Family and The BF...so as long as I am more patient than I have been in the past its a total win.

I don't want to cultivate the other virtues so I really am ahead of the game right now. Score one for me.

Love is Patient...Right?

Some weekends I have no patience with my "pseudo" step-kids. These are usually the same weekends I have no  patience with the dogs, society or people in general. Luckily the dogs and society don't care that I have no patience with them. The "pseudo" step-kids on the other hand...well that is not good.

Its bad when I have a short fuse with them...right?

Okay I really don't need you to answer I know that is bad.

I don't know if we all just have cabin fever and need to go outside but recently I have felt on the edge of disaster most weekends that we have the kids.

The attitude of the teenager coupled with the whining of the 6yr old has me wanting to join the witness protection program.

So I am asking all my blogging friends...What do you do when the kids make you crazy?

Please please share.

I am desperate woman.