I Can't Swim or Pee in the Woods

My mom has taught me many many things through out my life most notably...I make really good gravy.

That's right I said I make good gravy.

In my family this is a very important skill....because we love gravy.

I can make all kinds of gravy: from scratch, from a package, white gravy, brown gravy, for turkey dinners or beef. It is an amazing skill and most important my gravy is never lumpy.

Once when my Health Nut sister was pregnant with her youngest she called me at 9:37PM to drive over to her house and make her biscuits and gravy because I know how to make it just right and she was in the middle of a viscous and rather bizarre craving.

Despite passing on this valuable skill to me, her oldest daughter, my mother claims she has failed me because I cant pee in the woods without peeing on my leg. My younger sisters can do this but I was never able to master this valuable skill.

Then it dawned on me I don't like the Great Outdoors (I do like the movie The Great Outdoors...the scene with the bear still cracks me up). Maybe the reason I never mastered the skill is so I would always have a reason to not be in the woods.



After all bad things happen to those who go camping. if you don't believe me go watch Friday the 13th. (A friend recently told me I watch to many horror movies...she may be right).

I would like to note that I also cant swim but my mom doesn't think this is as important as being able to pee in the woods or make really good gravy.

He Thinks I am Cheating.

Last week (on different days) The BF and I both forgot our phones. And we had very different reactions.

The BF enjoyed his no phone day. In fact The BF and one of my brothers had an enlightening conversation on Facebook. (Have I ever mentioned I have 2 brothers. I don't talk about them often because they are not as fun as my sisters. Ok they are fun but its not a universal fun like my sisters. Its more of an acquired taste).

THE BF

Well today was enlightening. I left my phone at home and it was very nice not to look at it all day. The bad thing was I didn't get to talk to the gf at all is that sad or what

• Brother #1:  If I forget my phone I have to go back for it or I have panic attacks
• The BF:  Not me it's actually kinda nice not having it in my hand.
• Brother #1: Don't know how you do it. If my phone is in another room I swear I hear it ringing. My Nexus completes me
• The BF: Do you get a little tingle when you plug it in.
• Brother #1:  No but if it has been a busy day and she dies before I can lug her in I cry a little
• Mark as spam

  The BF:  Damn thats sad...

Me on the other hand...I was having a nervous break down. I keep using my moms (I was hanging with mom and stepdad) phone for everything. But I don't know anyone's phone number. I couldn't text anyone or really call anyone. And it was a pain to get online. And I was very unhappy.

This brings up an on going dispute between me and The BF....My phone. 

He accuses me of having an affair and calls my phone My BF.

You often hear him saying your other BF is ringing, better go answer them. 

And I am not sure what the big deal is its not like I am on it all the time or stop talking to him in the middle of a conversation to answer a text....Oh wait I do do that.

Maybe I should work on it...I do want to have a healthy relationship.

Of course he will have to put me above his other GF....his truck.

Please Keep your Opinions to Yourself

I have heard a lot of weird statements from people in my life. Most of them are insensitive statements but I am a good natured person so unless I am already cranky I just roll with it and let it good. No sense letting people upset because they are insensitive rude or just plain idiots.

• Did your parents want a boy?
• Your the next to get married!
• Its not like he'she is your real dad/brother/sister!

What? Are you telling me that someone is not my family? Do you even know what family is? Just because someone is not biologically my family member does not mean they are not my family. Family to me are the people who laugh with you durung the good times, cry with you when you are sad, cheer for you when you are up and let you lean on them when your down. And sharing the same DNA does not have anything to do with it.

Being that my parents divorced before I was in grade school it’s a fair guess that 1 or more of my siblings is technically not my full sibling but why is it your business and why do you care? And why is it so important to you that you need to go out of your way of making a comment like, "He is just your stepbrother why are you so sad he died?" I will tell you why...because he was my brother.

And for your information since you need to label people to make yourself feel better, I have 1 brother, 2 half-sisters, 1 half-sister, 1 step-brother, 1 sister-in-law and briefly I had 2 step-sister. But to me they are just my siblings and I love them all.